329. The Avengers

329. (25 Dec) The Avengers (2012, Joss Whedon) 32



So this is what happens when you team up superheroes from films with disparate aesthetics. Though Whedon goes out of his way to show these powers are evenly matched, he's juggling too many characters to make the action meaningful. Relying on our knowledge of other Marvel films (and nearly giving me PTSD with flashbacks from the heinous Captain America: The First Avenger) isn't objectionable since this is part of a franchise, but there's no continuation of any arc besides everybody kind of becoming friends. We get more characters piled on, including a poorly motivated villain, the always boring Jeremy Renner, and the third Hulk in as many films. The action sequences are boring considering everyone's invincible and there aren't any true dramatic stakes. Like they really have the effects budget to blow up lower Manhattan.

322. Snow White and the Huntsman

322. (23 Dec) Snow White and the Huntsman (2012, Rupert Sanders) 41



A too ambitious retelling of the familiar tale, Snow White and the Huntsman is at least some fun when playing into its fantasy elements, like a brief scene where the duo fend off a troll. Otherwise, iconic elements like the poisoned apple become mere blips to make room for countless throwaway sequences. Kristen Stewart and Chris Hemsworth have no discernible chemistry, leaving all of the heavy lifting for a very over-the-top Charlize Theron. Dour though it may be, the costumes and visual effects offer at least some intrigue. But no one should be asking for a sequel.

297. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

297. (02 Dec) The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012, Peter Jackson) 45



I wouldn't see another film projected at 48 fps if I were held at gunpoint. In the state of the art venue I saw The Hobbit, the film looked like it was being screened in fast-motion. It was distractingly cartoonish and never managed to trick the eye in the way 24 fps does.

Issues with the projection aside, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is deeply problematic despite the artistry of its production design, effects and sound work. This story is too episodic, tonally defunct and overloaded with action scenes to ever draw us in. Unable to create a relatable ensemble, Jackson and company rely on The Lord of the Rings nostalgia at every turn to keep us engaged. From Howard Shore's familiar musical themes to Cate Blanchett's unnecessary cameo, it's a reminder that the other films always felt more cohesive and accomplished than this ever does.

The nature of J.R.R. Tolkien's book is no small part of the problem. Overloaded with characters and featuring a death toll in the thousands as our heroes barely manage a scratch, it's hard to be involved when there's no hint of danger. An overuse of CGI and gimmicky 3D effects establish an aesthetic that matches a video game-like plot where characters survive against all probable odds. A scene involving rock monsters, for instance, looks stunning, but would clearly result in the death of every character if this has the slightest notion of reality. Even fantasy needs some credibility.

The high points here are Andy Serkis's return as Gollum and Martin Freeman's deadpan delivery of some solid one-liners. The low points include oafish musical numbers and undercooked villains that emphasize how segmented the story is.

280. Life of Pi

280. (20 Nov) Life of Pi (2012, Ang Lee)* 49



Ang Lee regresses with Life of Pi, exploring his trademark themes of repression and grief in a most literal sense. Even his obvious fades and a reliance on cheap imagery like a slow teardrop streaming down someone's face suggest the aesthetic of a director less developed than Lee. Claudio Miranda's cinematography and the visual effects are undeniably stunning, but they serve a narrative that's never emotionally involving or particularly interesting. David Magee's screenplay is a redundancy since he employed all the same tricks, to similarly hackish effect, in Finding Neverland. The ending serves as a ten-minute third act, dissolving all enchantment away from Life of Pi once and for all.

252. The Birds

252. (23 Oct) /The Birds/ (1963, Alfred Hitchcock)* 84

191. Real Steel

191. (06 Sep) Real Steel (2011, Shawn Levy) 23



I'm not clear how Real Steel has neither heart nor humor considering it's trying desperately to have both. Attempting to stack the deck with a down on his luck kid and parental bonding, Shawn Levy has no clue how to make his film in any way relatable. Headache-inducingly loud and garish, the fight scenes are so predictable there's really no way to derive pleasure from them. The script heaps on clichés so steadily that most scenes collapse from their top-heaviness. We're offered only the stupidest of surprises like a robot dance routine.

The acting is among the worst I've ever seen in film with this kind of budget. Dakota Goyo is the most awful child actor to come along since Jake Lloyd in The Phantom Menace. Evangeline Lilly is so humiliatingly amateurish you'd think she wandered out of a community theater. To his credit, Hugh Jackman is at least a certifiable leading man. His too brief shirtless scene is the only time there's any energy eminating from the screen.

The Oscar-nominated visual effects are okay, but truly nothing special. Motion capture and robot effects are common and Real Steel offers nothing in the way of newness.

143. The Abyss

143. (29 Jul) /The Abyss/ (1989, James Cameron) 79



As anxiety-producing as ever, The Abyss has such fantastic set-up and payoffs, it's hard not to appreciate it just for its scripting. But it's the visceral intensity that makes this such a singular experience. How Mikael Salomon didn't win an Oscar for his cinematography continues to astound me.

124. Prometheus

124. (08 Jun) Prometheus (2012, Ridley Scott)* 38

Certainly the most disappointing science fiction prequel since The Phantom Menace, this is infinitely more inept than that film. Failing to establish any characters to the point where it becomes downright comical when we're meant to feel for them as they perish one by one, it's impossible to get caught up in a moment of Prometheus. Reliant on special effects, this lamely undercooked spin on creationism is neither thought-provoking nor entertaining. The criminal underuse of Charlize Theron is perhaps most crushing of all.

060. Transformers: Dark of the Moon

060. (19 Feb) Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011, Michael Bay) 38



Michael Bay's ability to establish space and time is as weak as ever. It's apparent there are a handful of major scripted, loosely connected plot points that have to be tied together by any means necessary. Bay's method is fading to black and using a handful of establishing shots in places where there should've been considerable set-up, most notable in the Chicago-set finale. That's almost completely sprung on us with no clear lead-in.

Plot, of course, is scarcely why Bay's movies are so popular. His action sequences remain exhilirating, particularly a freeway chase and a mind-blowing few minutes in a collapsing skyscraper. In a just world, these would be enough to lock the film down as the Oscar winner for Best Visual Effects. (The first Transformers losing that honor and the second being snubbed altogether is rather shameful.)

Other nominations for Sound Mixing and Sound Editing are clearly well-earned. That Chicago finale has some outright spectacular sound. Incoherent as the story may be, there's a remarkable cohesion in the sound design that ties the films together. Were it not for the noise and glossy appearance, this would be totally intolerable.

Suggesting just how troubled this installment is, Patrick Dempsey is the only performer who comes across at all well. He's a surprisingly accomplished villain and is the first actor I've seen in a Bay movie in quite some time that made any kind of positive impression. Ken Jeong is positively deadly. Josh Duhamel is criminally underused. Shia LaBeouf continues to offer nothing while I'd take Megan Fox over Rosie Huntington-Whiteley any day.

054. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace

054. (18 Feb) /Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace/ (1999, George Lucas) 52



My rating for this film seems to take a tumble with each viewing. There's really nothing I didn't cover when I watched this about a year ago. Frankly, the film gets worse with each viewing. The film's shiny sequences really don't go together whatsoever. The Mr. Plinkett review and his DVD commentary certainly make watching this more fun.

479. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

479. (26 Nov) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011, David Yates) 55



Considering how lame the final installment of J.K. Rowling's book series was, it was inevitable the film would be troubled. By splitting it in two parts, it amplifies how unremarkable the plotting is. For the sake of the runtime, the story is rushed on the scale that derailed Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Consider the opening bank heist and the recovery of the Ravenclaw diadem. They're relatively unexciting and bizarrely episodic events considering the film only takes place over the course of a few days. It's not particularly thrilling when a conveniently placed dragon saves your ass or a minor character like Luna Lovegood solves a key mystery like the Ravenclaw horcrux.

Once the battle at Hogwart's begins, the film is crushingly brainless. The challenges that were overcome in Prisoner of Azkaban and Goblet of Fire were because of the cleverness and intellect of the characters. Now they're not even smart enough to think up a spell to stop the fire in the room of requirement or they lamely chase after a snake trying to stab it with a dragon tooth. At some point, the film is simply neither fun nor involving. It simply feels like work watching David Yates resolve a decade-long film series that had towering moments years ago.

The visual effects are still quite good, though the aging in the epilogue is a decided failure. I imagine they'll be the franchise's final Oscar nomination. An Art Direction nod would be inexplicable since there are practically no new sets throughout. Touting it for Best Picture or asking for a Rickman nomination is outlandish.

455. Hugo

455. (05 Nov) Hugo (2011, Martin Scorsese)* 57



There are moments of fun and whimsy here that suggest Scorsese doing a kid's movie was not a total misfire. But the film itself can be deadly dull, making it unsuitable for younger viewers. It's also hard to believe they'd enjoy the last act's ode to Georges Melies. Broad supporting characters and their distracting subplots really derail the film. (A train in a dream within a dream literally derails around the same point the film itself does.) When an obligatory chase scene takes place late in the film, it's clear this has outstayed its welcome. Nevertheless, the crafts are lovely and Ben Kingsley is quite good.