040. Roommates

040. (29 Jan) Roommates (1995, Peter Yates) 9



Nothing says fun family comedy like a crotchety old man, a cold male lead, and a female lead who dies midway through the film leaving behind two young kids! Peter Falk is unbearable here, not landing a single joke. But there's really no laugh that lands in the film's entire bloated runtime. For instance, when D.B. Sweeney is late for dinner his adolescent son suggests, "Maybe daddy's dead too!" Hilarious. Theoretically, I suppose Falk didn't look as old as he did when they filmed this, resulting in an awful Oscar nomination.

039. Quest for Fire

039. (28 Jan) Quest for Fire (1982, Jean-Jacques Annaud) 45



Having seen Clan of the Cave Bear, I'm aware just how awry this concept can go. Quest for Fire may be episodic and dull for long stretches, but it's essentially what you'd expect. A bunch of cavemen running around on their way to acquiring fire is about as compelling as it sounds. The Oscar-winning makeup is quite deserving, but it's Philippe Sarde's score that's the film's most sublime element.

297. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

297. (02 Dec) The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012, Peter Jackson) 45



I wouldn't see another film projected at 48 fps if I were held at gunpoint. In the state of the art venue I saw The Hobbit, the film looked like it was being screened in fast-motion. It was distractingly cartoonish and never managed to trick the eye in the way 24 fps does.

Issues with the projection aside, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is deeply problematic despite the artistry of its production design, effects and sound work. This story is too episodic, tonally defunct and overloaded with action scenes to ever draw us in. Unable to create a relatable ensemble, Jackson and company rely on The Lord of the Rings nostalgia at every turn to keep us engaged. From Howard Shore's familiar musical themes to Cate Blanchett's unnecessary cameo, it's a reminder that the other films always felt more cohesive and accomplished than this ever does.

The nature of J.R.R. Tolkien's book is no small part of the problem. Overloaded with characters and featuring a death toll in the thousands as our heroes barely manage a scratch, it's hard to be involved when there's no hint of danger. An overuse of CGI and gimmicky 3D effects establish an aesthetic that matches a video game-like plot where characters survive against all probable odds. A scene involving rock monsters, for instance, looks stunning, but would clearly result in the death of every character if this has the slightest notion of reality. Even fantasy needs some credibility.

The high points here are Andy Serkis's return as Gollum and Martin Freeman's deadpan delivery of some solid one-liners. The low points include oafish musical numbers and undercooked villains that emphasize how segmented the story is.

271. Hitchcock

271. (11 Nov) Hitchcock (2012, Sacha Gervasi)* 37



Hot on the heels of the bolder The Girl, this take on Hitchcock dissolves tension away by being pandering and reverential. When Hitchcock chats up Ed Gein or fear he's being cuckolded, the audience knows both scenarios are merely his lame imaginings. So there's not much to invest in since we all know Psycho's predictable success story. A scenery-chewing Helen Mirren comes off substantially better than the thoroughly unbelievable Anthony Hopkins. But then convincing casting is way down the list of the film's problems, which are namely a terrible script and uninspired direction. Most scenes seem like they were shot from two or three angles with Sacha Gervasi accepting whatever was offered on the first take.

051. Happy New Year

051. (11 Feb) Happy New Year (1987, John G. Avildsen) 33



I rarely have any interest in these heist films, but Happy New Year is especially inept. Peter Falk's romantic subplot lacks any charm and casing the jewelry store proves to be downright tedious. There's a slight surprise when the robbery goes completely awry in a rather hilarious way. (Falk simply gets stuck in the store when the door locks and ends up in prison.) The Best Makeup nomination is rather silly; Falk is put in various makeups so he can go undetected while casing the jewelry store. First he's an old man and later is an old woman who's the precursor to Mrs. Doubtfire.

012. The Iron Lady

012. (10 Jan) /The Iron Lady/ (2011, Phyllida Lloyd) 46



Considerably dumber on the second go-around, it's at least easier to appreciate how very much Meryl does to better The Iron Lady. There's so little done to both establish Thatcher as a person and political figure. Even the decisive idea of having Thatcher hallucinate her dead husband is absolutely dreadful. At least I can give Oscars to Streep and the makeup.

479. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

479. (26 Nov) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011, David Yates) 55



Considering how lame the final installment of J.K. Rowling's book series was, it was inevitable the film would be troubled. By splitting it in two parts, it amplifies how unremarkable the plotting is. For the sake of the runtime, the story is rushed on the scale that derailed Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Consider the opening bank heist and the recovery of the Ravenclaw diadem. They're relatively unexciting and bizarrely episodic events considering the film only takes place over the course of a few days. It's not particularly thrilling when a conveniently placed dragon saves your ass or a minor character like Luna Lovegood solves a key mystery like the Ravenclaw horcrux.

Once the battle at Hogwart's begins, the film is crushingly brainless. The challenges that were overcome in Prisoner of Azkaban and Goblet of Fire were because of the cleverness and intellect of the characters. Now they're not even smart enough to think up a spell to stop the fire in the room of requirement or they lamely chase after a snake trying to stab it with a dragon tooth. At some point, the film is simply neither fun nor involving. It simply feels like work watching David Yates resolve a decade-long film series that had towering moments years ago.

The visual effects are still quite good, though the aging in the epilogue is a decided failure. I imagine they'll be the franchise's final Oscar nomination. An Art Direction nod would be inexplicable since there are practically no new sets throughout. Touting it for Best Picture or asking for a Rickman nomination is outlandish.

475. Albert Nobbs

475. (23 Nov) Albert Nobbs (2011, Rodrigo Garcia) 51



Not since Barbra Streisand in Yentl has there been a less convincing actress masquerading as a man than Glenn Close. Janet McTeer very slightly completes the illusion better. There are emotionally effective moments in Albert Nobbs, all of them due to Close letting some emotion break through an otherwise stoic character. She won't win the Oscar and shouldn't, but it's a performance that has its share of nuance and success.

Mia Wasikowska is in dreadful form and former model Aaron Johnson is completely inappropriate casting for a 19th century period piece since his shirt comes off. Their romantic subplot is a major inconvenience to the film. For the most part, it's a competent enough film about the miserably high price of repression. In the hands of Ang Lee, it might have been noteworthy.

466. The Iron Lady

466. (17 Nov) The Iron Lady (2011, Phyllida Lloyd)* 59



A biopic on the opposite spectrum from this year's J. Edgar, The Iron Lady asks no hard questions about Margaret Thatcher. It's oddly reverential and even more strangely structured. A too-large chunk of the film has a senile, elderly Thatcher hallucinating her dead husband. It leads to all kinds of clumsy flashbacks and does little to illuminate who Thatcher was.

Essentially, the film is a Cliff's Notes version of her life and career. The only reason why it succeeds at all is because of a dazzling star turn by Meryl Streep. She often carries entire movies, but she's usually assisted by a large ensemble. That's not the case here. She carries the whole thing on her own, transforming totally into Thatcher. Whatever insight is gained into the woman is brought by Streep. Her performance is warm, witty, and has a definite edge. She camps it up appropriately considering the humor found in the script. It's a testament to just what kind of miracles she can work.