329. The Avengers

329. (25 Dec) The Avengers (2012, Joss Whedon) 32



So this is what happens when you team up superheroes from films with disparate aesthetics. Though Whedon goes out of his way to show these powers are evenly matched, he's juggling too many characters to make the action meaningful. Relying on our knowledge of other Marvel films (and nearly giving me PTSD with flashbacks from the heinous Captain America: The First Avenger) isn't objectionable since this is part of a franchise, but there's no continuation of any arc besides everybody kind of becoming friends. We get more characters piled on, including a poorly motivated villain, the always boring Jeremy Renner, and the third Hulk in as many films. The action sequences are boring considering everyone's invincible and there aren't any true dramatic stakes. Like they really have the effects budget to blow up lower Manhattan.

271. Hitchcock

271. (11 Nov) Hitchcock (2012, Sacha Gervasi)* 37



Hot on the heels of the bolder The Girl, this take on Hitchcock dissolves tension away by being pandering and reverential. When Hitchcock chats up Ed Gein or fear he's being cuckolded, the audience knows both scenarios are merely his lame imaginings. So there's not much to invest in since we all know Psycho's predictable success story. A scenery-chewing Helen Mirren comes off substantially better than the thoroughly unbelievable Anthony Hopkins. But then convincing casting is way down the list of the film's problems, which are namely a terrible script and uninspired direction. Most scenes seem like they were shot from two or three angles with Sacha Gervasi accepting whatever was offered on the first take.

141. Eight Legged Freaks

141. (26 Jul) Eight Legged Freaks (2002, Ellory Elkayem) 38



Attempting to straddle the line between scary and silly, as Gremlins and Arachnophobia do so capably, Eight Legged Freaks only occasionally lands a laugh and even more rarely offers a scare. An overall lack of logic prevents this from being especially clever. David Arquette's total lack of screen presence is deadly.