056. Papillon

056. (08 Feb) Papillon (1973, Franklin J. Schaffner) 48



An entertaining adventure, but Papillon is hardly a film for the ages. From his shoddy ability to show the passage of time to a couple wretched dream sequences, Schaffner makes questionable choices that keep his film from feeling accomplished. Above all, the runtime's insanely bloated. I'm sure the film could go without any number of things like a montage of Steve McQueen cavorting with an island girl.

The fact that this is regarded as McQueen's best performance suggests what an oxymoron that is. He and Dustin Hoffman are believable buddies, but neither is strong here. Lovely, varied photographed and Jerry Goldsmith's score are the strongest assets. I'm frankly surprised Goldsmith managed an Oscar nomination, even though his score is magical, since it's not in use for the vast majority of the film.

043. Kismet

043. (30 Jan) Kismet (1944, William Dieterle) 18



I have a decidedly low tolerance for these '40s forays into exoticism, full of tanned white actors and soundstages that all run together. Especially odd is how Kismet is about as dull as an adventure in a foreign land gets. Marlene Dietrich occasionally breathes life into this, like during an endless dance sequence, but she's not given much to do. The cinematography is vibrant and the score tries to make this more rousing than it is; those are both worthy Oscar nominations. The nods for art direction and sound are totally unnecessary.

285. Tanks a Million

285. (24 Nov) Tanks a Million (1941, Fred Guiol) 33



This 50-minute army comedy depends on broad and physical humor. Despite rapidfire gags, including tried and true gimmicks like mistaken identity, there's literally not one laugh to be had in the entire runtime. The Oscar nomination for Original Score must be one of the most baffling on record. The only music cues are military marches, none of which are original.

280. Life of Pi

280. (20 Nov) Life of Pi (2012, Ang Lee)* 49



Ang Lee regresses with Life of Pi, exploring his trademark themes of repression and grief in a most literal sense. Even his obvious fades and a reliance on cheap imagery like a slow teardrop streaming down someone's face suggest the aesthetic of a director less developed than Lee. Claudio Miranda's cinematography and the visual effects are undeniably stunning, but they serve a narrative that's never emotionally involving or particularly interesting. David Magee's screenplay is a redundancy since he employed all the same tricks, to similarly hackish effect, in Finding Neverland. The ending serves as a ten-minute third act, dissolving all enchantment away from Life of Pi once and for all.

278. Anna Karenina

278. (18 Nov) Anna Karenina (2012, Joe Wright)* 74



Though it works better in segments than as a whole, it's hard not to be swept away by Joe Wright's rapturous Anna Karenina. It's a film of which my opinion evolves the more I think on it. Will there be something more breathtaking or perfect as the ball when Anna and Vronsky first dance? I can say now nothing could, or at least should, hope to rival it for the Production Design and Costume Design Oscars.

Joe Wright and Tom Stoppard's adaptation, for all its artifice, gets quite to the heart of Tolstoy's work. There's a passion for the characters and narrative here that makes it irrelevant that a dense, sprawling novel has been condensed into two hours. The quickly shifting set pieces and beautiful segues of sight and sound make the movement completely fluid. Combine that with a strong core performance by Kiera Knightley and Dario Marianelli's evocative score and it's clear there could be no better or more inherently cinematic telling of this story.

272. Skyfall

272. (11 Nov) Skyfall (2012, Sam Mendes)* 52



There's been enough written about Skyfall's nonsensical plot that my concerns need not be enumerated. However fun Javier Bardem's villainous turn may be, he could scarcely have had a more preposterous revenge plot concocted. Fortunately, that opens things up for the enjoyable opening chase and a colorful, brilliantly photographed sequence in Shanghai. They're high points in a film that's mostly frivolous and amusing, even if this franchise gets all the more self-serious. We're three films into the Daniel Craig era of Bond and still debating the relevancy of secret agents?

269. The Man in the Iron Mask

269. (11 Nov) The Man in the Iron Mask (1939, James Whale) 35



This clunky adaptation of The Man with the Iron Mask emphasizes all of the mean-spiritedness of Dumas's plot. The lavish production and adventure are a rather joyless slog as a result. There's so much deck-stacking to make us root for Philippe of Gascony and despise King Louis XIV the characters seem far from human. The Oscar-nominated score is fine, but lacks anything resembling a memorable theme.

268. Lincoln

268. (10 Nov) Lincoln (2012, Steven Spielberg)* 51



With their decisively titled Lincoln, Spielberg and company have invited the expectation that this will be the definitive film about the man's life and work. This is no sweeping biopic, however, as it narrowly focuses on his efforts to get the 13th Amendment through the House of Representatives. The confinement in time, along with Tony Kushner's careful selections of scenes, the right dramatic moments, and a surprising amount of humor keep this reined in. But other than a superb performance from Daniel Day-Lewis, this in no other way lives up to an overly ambitious title.

Spielberg attempts to play silly tricks on us, trying to draw suspense out of the final House of Representatives vote, for instance, which plays like we're watching C-SPAN more than anything else. A far more questionable decision comes when we're misled into thinking we're at Ford's Theater at the moment of assassination when in fact we're at another theater entirely.

Kushner understandably has to inject expository dialogue here and there, but it's often shockingly clumsy. Scenes with Sally Field, as a thoroughly unconvincing Mary Todd Lincoln, are full of bits where she explains something that's happened in years past, from her buggy accident to the death of their son. It places on undue burden on Field, who has to enlighten us on critical history that would be far more compelling if it had played out on-screen.

The cast is a mixed bag. Tommy Lee Jones and Lee Pace are the strongest scene stealers. Many smaller roles are downright distracting, notably appearances by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Adam Driver and S. Epatha Merkerson. Work by Michael Stuhlburg and Walton Goggins is shamefully lacking in nuance.

To Lincoln's credit, the film mostly make efforts not to be too much a revisionist history. Only a dopey moment where Mary Todd and Abraham chat about how history will remember them, near the film's end, feels totally unnecessary. Injecting African-American characters into a story that might otherwise have only been about white people granting equality is also well-advised.

In terms of crafts, Janusz Kaminski's cinematography looks like something you'd see on the History Channel. A handful of sets stand out, but the costumes are wholly unremarkable. John Williams has composed a subdued score that reminds me just how shameless and boisterous his work on War Horse was.

262. 55 Days at Peking

262. (04 Nov) 55 Days at Peking (1963, Nicholas Ray) 34



From the extraordinary number of actors in Asianface to the way the Chinese are vilified, 55 Days at Peking has some pretty serious racist implications that have made it age badly. Still, it does explore the way the West exploited China, so it's not completely oblivious. The production value is exemplary and Dimitri Tiomkin's lush, Oscar-nominated score is quite strong. However, the selling point here is Charlton Heston, who is charismatic and photogenic as usual. He and Ava Gardner have a palpable sexual chemistry that makes their too few scenes together tower above any of the unexciting action sequences. For all its scope, this is surprisingly dull, especially once the rebellion is underway. The dreamy Andy Williams tune "So Little Time" that plays at the film's end is rather sublime.

247. Argo

247. (13 Oct) Argo (2012, Ben Affleck)* 76



Ben Affleck continues to be one of the most consistent, exciting directors working today with Argo. Though this tense, taut thriller plays exquisitely throughout, it's hard not to relish the details. From the old Warner Bros. logo that opens the film to the outstanding production design to an ensemble all but destined to win a SAG Award, Affleck manages to barely falter in a film precariously straddling genres. The comedic bits set in Los Angeles are admittedly very funny, but some of that scripting is too on-the-nose in a way that's not in keeping with the more organic feel of the thriller segments. Alan Arkin's crowd-pleasing performance is especially out of step with the powerful work of the Houseguests. All the plots wrap up a little too tidily, as well, but it's too satisfying to matter much.

068. Voice in the Wind

067. (26 Feb) Voice in the Wind (1944, Arthur Ripley) 25



A test case, I suppose, of whether or not a film can sustain on endless scenes of piano playing or listening. Unsurprisingly, it can't. If Voice in the Wind's structure was well-ordered and the melodrama played more sincerely, there might be something to laud here. As it stands, it's rather exhaustingly awful.

The Original Score nomination makes sense. At the film's center is a pianist who plays rousing, if forgettable melodies. The music lacks a memorable theme. It also isn't helpful that this underscores an outright dull film. The Sound nomination is actively bad; the film consists almost entirely of pounding music and poorly recorded dialogue.

Winner Breakdown: Original Song and Score

Music (Original Score):- The Adventures of Tintin (John Williams)
- The Artist (Ludovic Bource)
- Hugo (Howard Shore)
- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (Albert Iglesias)
- War Horse (John Williams)


This was a really good year for music, with Alexandre Desplat scoring six different films, Thomas Newman doing one or two, Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross also in there. I was slightly disappointed to see that none of these people made it in, and we got 2 John Williams nominations instead. I have no qualms against Williams, but would've loved to see Desplat in there again, or even the others I named. But this year's nominees are all really good. By far, my favourite is John William's War Horse. I'm not even a very big Williams fan, but I adored his work. However, Ludovic Bource's music carried The Artist. While I thought it was a charming score, I thought it was a little wrong in some places, or cut off mid scenes, but I suppose that's not Bource's fault. However, the score that could pose the upset, I think, would be Howard Shore's work for Hugo. It is so unlike Howard Shore's other music, and is so typically French, and is quite charming. However, I don't see Shore winning this year, nor do I see Iglesias or Williams winning either. Undoubtedly it'll go to Bource... and who can blame him?

Will Win: The Artist
Could Win: Hugo
Dark Horse: Tinker, Tailor, Soldier Spy
Who I Want to Win: War Horse


Music (Original Song):- Man or Muppet (The Muppets)
- Real in Rio (Rio)


The big news is that there will not be live performances of the Original Songs this year at the Oscars. Personally, I don't mind, because I never really knew any of the songs anyways, and always changed the channel, or went for popcorn during this time. But it's interesting, having only 2 nominees. Many were predicting Mary J. Blidge's "The Living Proof" from The Help to win, however she wasn't nominated. But I think it's fairly obvious that "Man or Muppet" from the Muppets. While I love Rio, and the music from it, it really don't stand a chance against the Muppets. 

Will Win: Man or Muppet
Could Win: -
Dark Horse: Real in Rio
Who I Want to Win: Man or Muppet

491. The Adventures of Tintin

491. (11 Dec) The Adventures of Tintin (2011, Steven Spielberg)* 56



Only an action sequence set in the air, playfully utilizing zero gravity, is of particular note in Tintin. The rest all run together, which is a major issues since the film consists almost exclusively of dopey action sequences. The film's core mystery is barely interesting and the voice acting constantly borders on dull. It's always baffling to see these unremarkable animated films since they require so much money and time to make. If a fraction of that time and effort went toward solid scripting, Tintin might be a noteworthy entry in Spielberg's filmography. The John Williams score is slightly better than his monstrous work War Horse.

478. War Horse

478. (24 Nov) War Horse (2011, Steven Spielberg)* 44



In its first act, it seems War Horse is trying to look and feel like a '40s countryside drama in the vein of Lassie Come Home. There are obligatory elements like an animal that can't be kept and a farm that's at risk of being lost. But where a '40s film like The Yearling would've matched glossiness with emotional impact, War Horse is more tonally akin to a '70s Disney feature. It slides in utterly surreal comic relief like a goose that nips at people's heels while it should be fleshing out characters.

The fundamental failing of the film -- aside from the plot being so incidental and uninteresting -- is that it never allows us to forge relationships with the characters. The horse is the only constant in the film. People come and go from his life. Tom Hiddleston has the most thankless role of all as an English officer who dies before we get even the faintest hint of his backstory. Spielberg's inability to contextualize the death of a significant supporting character at the start of a war is disturbing, and he does it at least a couple more times throughout the course of the film.

The only series of scenes not centered around the horse is where Jeremy Irvine, who trained has an unhealthy attachment to him, is his brief stint in the war where he sees a little bit of combat before being blinded by gas. Neither he nor any other human in the film gains insight into the hardship of war. The very final shot has the horse staring off into the sunset after returning home. It's a totally bizarre closing shot, as the lessons of war's cruelty have all been learned by the horse and not the humans. That might be impactful if this was an animated film where the horse can talk and pontificate, but there are enormous battle sequences and lives lost. It's a bit too serious to not articulate any big themes.

The inevitable conclusion where the boy and his horse are reunited is unabashedly contrived and manipulative. Oscar voters are sure to weep at the silly moment, but I was too exhausted from the preceding and present ridiculousness to care.

The cast is, not surprisingly, totally wasted. No one comes close to making an impression except Emily Watson. She's acting in a more serious, involving movie than everybody else.

The crafts are almost shockingly unremarkable. The cinematography is lacking as the film is supposed to have scope, but there's no memorable imagery to be found. John Williams' score is perhaps his most pounding and dreadful. He emphasizes every little aciton and movement, determined to turn this dull film into something exciting through sheer will. It will likely dominate the craft awards at the Oscars, but I've seen Spielberg do these exact same battles on a grander, more effective scale.

457. The Artist

457. (06 Nov) The Artist (2011, Michel Hazanavicius)* 48



The first thirty minutes of The Artist are lighter than air, suggesting a rather promising comedy. Then the film turns dramatic and whatever momentum was being gained is lost. A charming series of takes where Jean Dujardin and Bérénice Bejo's flirting interrupts filming on a movie they're making gives way to suicide attempts and house fires and all sort of melodramatic nonsense. The movie simply ceases to be any fun and, considering it's sustaining on the gimmick of being silent, that makes the last three-fourths of the film quite a chore. There are amusing moments along the way, mostly involving an adorable dog. It's one of the frothiest, dopiest movies I've seen in quite some time. I guess that certifies it as a Best Picture contender.

455. Hugo

455. (05 Nov) Hugo (2011, Martin Scorsese)* 57



There are moments of fun and whimsy here that suggest Scorsese doing a kid's movie was not a total misfire. But the film itself can be deadly dull, making it unsuitable for younger viewers. It's also hard to believe they'd enjoy the last act's ode to Georges Melies. Broad supporting characters and their distracting subplots really derail the film. (A train in a dream within a dream literally derails around the same point the film itself does.) When an obligatory chase scene takes place late in the film, it's clear this has outstayed its welcome. Nevertheless, the crafts are lovely and Ben Kingsley is quite good.

429. Tinker, Tailor, Solider, Spy

429. (10 Oct) Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (2011, Tomas Alfredson)* 31



When Oscar bait falls, it falls hard. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy is absolutely incoherent and joyless. There's not a spark of humor or wit. It rushes through an abundance of nonsensical plot without ever stringing threads together. The script is about as awful as adaptation gets. These writers think that overcomplicated structure can make up for bad plotting and makes your film "smart." Yikes.

Gary Oldman's Oscar buzz is absolutely hilarious. He doesn't do a single thing in the entire film, maybe saying a total of one hundred words in the film's runtime. If he got a Best Actor nomination, it would be among the most hilarious on record. His face hardly moves and he's aged terribly. There's nothing to fuss over.

Colin Firth is tolerable in a supporting role, but the film is so choppily edited that none of the performers can come off well. While I sincerely doubt Alfredson's ability to direct after seeing his mediocre Let the Right One In, amateurish editing and fundamentally awful scripting surely put this on the wrong track from the start.

Focus Features better gear up to spend millions of dollars on this Oscar campaign if they want to see so much as a nomination for Costume Design or Art Direction. Even that is a major stretch for the nothingness this deserves.