013. Beasts of the Southern Wild

013. (19 Jan) Beasts of the Southern Wild (2012, Behn Zeitlin) 31



What a terrible bunch of Oscar nominations! You could point a camera at most petulant children and get a variation on Quvenzhané Wallis' performance, if you can call it that. Nearly as bad is the screenplay nod. Most dialogue, like a sea captain telling Hushpuppy he saves the wrappers for his chicken biscuits to remember he was a different person each time he unwrapped them, is downright embarrassing. Benh Zeitlin's nomination is bad, but at least makes sense as the film is clearly over-directed. He intercuts shaky, but occasionally visually interesting shots with clumsy visual metaphors (i.e. the titular beasts, melting glaciers).

I'm not one to use the phrase "poverty porn," but from the sadsack opening shot of a trailer onward, it certainly fits. Beasts barely introduces its ill-defined ensemble in their bleak world before jumping from scene to scene with no sense of coherence. Most bits are grating, but the inability to establish settings or story gets exhausting by the time the gang try to escape a hospital where they're being fed and given medical treatment. Still, more of a "Best Picture" than Les Miserables.

280. Life of Pi

280. (20 Nov) Life of Pi (2012, Ang Lee)* 49



Ang Lee regresses with Life of Pi, exploring his trademark themes of repression and grief in a most literal sense. Even his obvious fades and a reliance on cheap imagery like a slow teardrop streaming down someone's face suggest the aesthetic of a director less developed than Lee. Claudio Miranda's cinematography and the visual effects are undeniably stunning, but they serve a narrative that's never emotionally involving or particularly interesting. David Magee's screenplay is a redundancy since he employed all the same tricks, to similarly hackish effect, in Finding Neverland. The ending serves as a ten-minute third act, dissolving all enchantment away from Life of Pi once and for all.

277. Silver Linings Playbook

277. (17 Nov) Silver Linings Playbook (2012, David O. Russell)* 31



Grating and mind-numbingly pandering, there's not a single genuine moment to be found in Silver Linings Playbook. There is, at least, the effervescent presence of Jennifer Lawrence, who at least elevates every scene she's in. But she's the only one bringing nuanced work alongside actors who are pure caricature. Bradley Cooper, Robert De Niro and Jacki Weaver, in particular, could hardly be in worse form, offering performances without the slightest hint of humanity in them.

David O. Russell's script is pure amateurism. He feels the need to cram all of his small ensemble into every scene, even when they have no place there (e.g. the psychiatrist at the football game, the cop at the dance competition). This gives the false sense that people from all walks of life are bonding when, in fact, this underscores the phoniness. And what could be further from reality when, out of nowhere, someone shouts to a busload of Philadelphia Eagles fans who happen to be Indian, "Go back to your own country! The Eagles are our team!"

The gags here are about as subtle, revolving around something as stupid as a mispronunciation of Trazodone. The so-called drama includes a manic episode where Cooper freaks out about his missing wedding video. Such scenes are painfully out of place considering the serious tonal shift it requires from broad comedy, but it emphasizes just how bad Cooper is in the lead. It's all the more reason why I'm certainly overrating Lawrence, who at least can read a line without seeming like she's in a high school play.

268. Lincoln

268. (10 Nov) Lincoln (2012, Steven Spielberg)* 51



With their decisively titled Lincoln, Spielberg and company have invited the expectation that this will be the definitive film about the man's life and work. This is no sweeping biopic, however, as it narrowly focuses on his efforts to get the 13th Amendment through the House of Representatives. The confinement in time, along with Tony Kushner's careful selections of scenes, the right dramatic moments, and a surprising amount of humor keep this reined in. But other than a superb performance from Daniel Day-Lewis, this in no other way lives up to an overly ambitious title.

Spielberg attempts to play silly tricks on us, trying to draw suspense out of the final House of Representatives vote, for instance, which plays like we're watching C-SPAN more than anything else. A far more questionable decision comes when we're misled into thinking we're at Ford's Theater at the moment of assassination when in fact we're at another theater entirely.

Kushner understandably has to inject expository dialogue here and there, but it's often shockingly clumsy. Scenes with Sally Field, as a thoroughly unconvincing Mary Todd Lincoln, are full of bits where she explains something that's happened in years past, from her buggy accident to the death of their son. It places on undue burden on Field, who has to enlighten us on critical history that would be far more compelling if it had played out on-screen.

The cast is a mixed bag. Tommy Lee Jones and Lee Pace are the strongest scene stealers. Many smaller roles are downright distracting, notably appearances by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Adam Driver and S. Epatha Merkerson. Work by Michael Stuhlburg and Walton Goggins is shamefully lacking in nuance.

To Lincoln's credit, the film mostly make efforts not to be too much a revisionist history. Only a dopey moment where Mary Todd and Abraham chat about how history will remember them, near the film's end, feels totally unnecessary. Injecting African-American characters into a story that might otherwise have only been about white people granting equality is also well-advised.

In terms of crafts, Janusz Kaminski's cinematography looks like something you'd see on the History Channel. A handful of sets stand out, but the costumes are wholly unremarkable. John Williams has composed a subdued score that reminds me just how shameless and boisterous his work on War Horse was.

247. Argo

247. (13 Oct) Argo (2012, Ben Affleck)* 76



Ben Affleck continues to be one of the most consistent, exciting directors working today with Argo. Though this tense, taut thriller plays exquisitely throughout, it's hard not to relish the details. From the old Warner Bros. logo that opens the film to the outstanding production design to an ensemble all but destined to win a SAG Award, Affleck manages to barely falter in a film precariously straddling genres. The comedic bits set in Los Angeles are admittedly very funny, but some of that scripting is too on-the-nose in a way that's not in keeping with the more organic feel of the thriller segments. Alan Arkin's crowd-pleasing performance is especially out of step with the powerful work of the Houseguests. All the plots wrap up a little too tidily, as well, but it's too satisfying to matter much.

469. The Descendants

469. (19 Nov) The Descendants (2011, Alexander Payne)* 44



There are ample opportunities for poignancy in The Descendants, but whenever the film comes close to making an emotional impact it turns into a sitcom. Take for instance a key scene near the film's end where Judy Greer tearfully forgives the comatose woman who tried to steal her husband; at first it's a touching, powerful moment, but before you know it she's somehow playing the scene for laughs. Such jarring, inappropriate moments mar a film that could've been uncomfortable, but relatable in the way Payne's Election and About Schmidt were.

I cannot imagine Payne could've scripted something more amateurish. From the Screenwriting 101 voice-over that introduces the flick to an awful comic relief character named Sid who serves no purpose at all except to offer cheap laughs, it's hard to believe Payne ever wrote Election. To his credit, he gets a very solid performance out of Shailene Woodley. She gives the film whatever humanity it has.

George Clooney is doing what he always does, coasting along and failing whenever presented with a challenge. He has to do some physical comedy when following the man he knows had an affair with his wife. Waddling behind a bush, it's a wonder why anybody lets this man approach acting physically at all. He can't do sight gags to save his life and he sabotages the scene.

A couple veteran performers, Robert Forster and Beau Bridges, are trotted out for no good reason. Both have completely thankless roles. Bridges, for instance, has to be a sounding board during a climactic moment where Clooney makes a major decision that doesn't really impact the plot very much in any direction. The film attempts to balance the two plots of a cheating, comatose wife and a major land deal. They're clumsily connected for convenience's sake, but it's almost astonishing just how little the latter plot matters at all.

By the end, all these characters want to do is eat ice cream and watch March of the Penguins. Sounds decidedly more fun and thought-provoking than a screening of The Descendants.

455. Hugo

455. (05 Nov) Hugo (2011, Martin Scorsese)* 57



There are moments of fun and whimsy here that suggest Scorsese doing a kid's movie was not a total misfire. But the film itself can be deadly dull, making it unsuitable for younger viewers. It's also hard to believe they'd enjoy the last act's ode to Georges Melies. Broad supporting characters and their distracting subplots really derail the film. (A train in a dream within a dream literally derails around the same point the film itself does.) When an obligatory chase scene takes place late in the film, it's clear this has outstayed its welcome. Nevertheless, the crafts are lovely and Ben Kingsley is quite good.

429. Tinker, Tailor, Solider, Spy

429. (10 Oct) Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (2011, Tomas Alfredson)* 31



When Oscar bait falls, it falls hard. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy is absolutely incoherent and joyless. There's not a spark of humor or wit. It rushes through an abundance of nonsensical plot without ever stringing threads together. The script is about as awful as adaptation gets. These writers think that overcomplicated structure can make up for bad plotting and makes your film "smart." Yikes.

Gary Oldman's Oscar buzz is absolutely hilarious. He doesn't do a single thing in the entire film, maybe saying a total of one hundred words in the film's runtime. If he got a Best Actor nomination, it would be among the most hilarious on record. His face hardly moves and he's aged terribly. There's nothing to fuss over.

Colin Firth is tolerable in a supporting role, but the film is so choppily edited that none of the performers can come off well. While I sincerely doubt Alfredson's ability to direct after seeing his mediocre Let the Right One In, amateurish editing and fundamentally awful scripting surely put this on the wrong track from the start.

Focus Features better gear up to spend millions of dollars on this Oscar campaign if they want to see so much as a nomination for Costume Design or Art Direction. Even that is a major stretch for the nothingness this deserves.

428. The Ides of March

428. (09 Oct) The Ides of March (2011, George Clooney)* 57



Clooney's on the nose political thriller is glossy and entertaining enough to suggest growth from his pedestrian Good Night, and Good Luck, but the script still lacks character motivation and feels too overeager to crowd please. At the very least, Clooney has something of a knack of assembling a strong ensemble and putting them to good use. While Ryan Gosling looks as vacant as ever, Evan Rachel Wood has rarely been so charming and emotionally affecting. Marisa Tomei is also rather fun in a small role. Philip Seymour Hoffman turns out the kind of noisy, showy performance that seems destined for an unnecessary Supporting Actor nomination.

The twists and turns of the film's third act are relatively weak, even if they are involving. The Ides of March is convinced of its own grittiness and cynicism, even though it's not really either. The idea that you can make anything about the film's plot fresh is a tad absurd. A politician sleeping with an intern? Been there. A campaign manager who has yet to be disillusioned by the politician he's managing? Get real.

Ides just doesn't feel particularly real, which is why whenever it enters dark territory it starts to feel false. When it's more a dopey, enjoyable look behind the scenes of politics, it's at its best.

422. Moneyball

422. (24 Sep) Moneyball (2011, Bennett Miller)* 74



With zingers clearly written by Aaron Sorkin and under Bennett Miller's intensely focused direction, Moneyball's clearest fault is its tendency to be too on the nose. Nevertheless, it's captivating filmmaking that defies sports genre cliches. (It's a novelty that Moneyball is about an underdog team that's poised to defy all the odds, but doesn't actually go the distance.) Unlike most films integrating sports or new footage, Miller isn't reliant on them. Instead, he sustains tension or lets us off the hook to craft a bona fide crowd-pleaser. Brad Pitt and Chris Pratt give the film's most accomplished performances.