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How to Sell Out: Before and After Smartphones

Friday, January 20, 2012


Before Purchasing a Smartphone:

Me: "God, I can't stand all these people and their smartphones. Who cares if your phone has an app that can realign a satellite to help you select the best place to take photos of yourself! Seriously, my phone makes phone calls and accepts phone calls, and that's all any phone should do! Anything more than that is just feeding people who were already annoying to begin with fodder to make them even more annoying!"

Other Person: "Why are you talking to me? Please go away."

After Purchasing a Smartphone:

Me: "Oh and I have I told you about this app yet. Man, it's so much more amazing than all these other apps I've told you about. You see with this one, I can take a photo of myself then make it swirl and then unswirl it and make it go all kabloosh! You can even realign this satellite here and have it tell you the best places nearby to take photos of yourself! Isn't that amazing!?"

Other Person: "Why are you talking to me, again? Please, please, please go away."


To my fellow soldiers in the war against phones who do unnecessary things, I'm sorry. I have failed you all. For now, I am part of the dark side, and I must say things sure are lovely over here.

Damn you smartphones!!!!!!


Programming Note: For those of you who care, The Movie Picture Code weekly edition will be back and in full swing next Friday!

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