In order to gain telepathy all one must do is this: become a plant. Did I lose you? No problem I can explain: In order to fully understand, and foresee, the thoughts of any human you must not be human. Even more so you must be as far from human as possible, ecologically speaking, while still maintaining a living entity. Now you may be saying to yourself, but Uni plant's don't have brains, how could they read my mind?
Well, plant's don't have physical brains, true, but they have something all the more powerful: Oxygen. What does your brain need to work? Oxygen. What is one of its highest suppliers? Plants. Plant sends out Oxygen, goes into your Brain. You breath out CO2, plant take CO2, siphons out the carbon, i.e. your thoughts, and gives back the Oxygen. Therefore, you don't need to speak in order for the plant to know what you're thinking. Hence telepathy.
And you thought I hadn't thought this through, BOOYAH! (to be honest I really just made that up on the fly and am hoping it makes one lick of sense for comedic affect)
New Releases:
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: Unfortunately for this film there are two real downsides to its title:
1. The implication that Scott Pilgrim is fighting the world, and therefore all its inhabitants, therefore the audience. People don't want to go to a movie to fight, well some do but they're called jerks and we let them be.
2. It's immediate association with The People vs. Larry Flint. Let's be honest, while both may be fine movies, you definitely don't want to walk into one anticipating the other. Two very different beasts. To combine them could only mean total, universal, destruction.
Grown Ups: There's a certain charm in laughing at four middle age men try and desperately cling on to their careers. No I'm not talking about the characters, rather the actors. Adam Sandler's getting ready to finally outage his caricature. David Spade did so 10 years ago. Chris Rock seems out of new ideas. Leaving Kevin James as the only actor in the film with anything on the up and up. Doesn't mean I think his films are any good, I just think he's got more in the tank than the rest. But let's be honest, if you watched this commercial for this film and thought "hey, that looks hilarious," you're most likely not the type of people I'm going to converse with on a daily basis outside any work obligations.
Charlie St. Cloud: Sorry Efron, they can't all be winners. Then again, did you really read the script for this film and think it would be? Here's a piece of advice: Ghost children never works in drama. They're either there to possess you or scare the hell out of you. That's all their allowed to do. Anything more than that and you're just trying to be melodramatic... and we reserve that for daytime soaps.
Love Ranch: Members of the LiE reading public, I'd like to make a nomination. In the category of worst DVD Covers I give you Love Ranch:
Other Releases: Ramona & Beezus, The Dry Land, Jean-Michel Basquiat: Radiant Child
Other Goodies:
The Elia Kazan Collection: Fifteen Kazan films with an additional documentary on Elia Kazan presented by Martin Scorcese.... excuse me, I believe a change of pants is in order. I have to be honest when I say I'm pretty psyched for this one. Oh, it'll definitely be finding its way onto the Christmas wish list.
Westworld: I've heard a lot about this film but haven't seen it, perhaps I'll give it a go after all.
Ocean's 11 (50th Anniversary Blu-Ray): The original Rat Pack version is back for your viewing pleasure with Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Peter Lawford, and Angie Dickson. All is fair in love and Danny Ocean.
There's a lot of things listed as "new" dvd releases for films I know are already on DVD because I own them so I'll not bother including them here. There is another Mystery Science Theater collection out there for those dedicated many who must own them all.
Have fun and happy hunting!
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