Note to self: Never get into a slapping contest with a chimpanzee over lollipops. Not only do you lose the lollipop, but you must also endure the shame of having been pimp slapped by a chimpanzee. Upside - envisioning a chimpanzee wearing a large fur coat and drive a Cadillac almost makes it worth the effort. Though perhaps a bit cruel....
New Releases:
Nightmare on Elm Street: If I've said it once, I've said it at least once (like what I did there? no, well fine, be that way!), the only thing scarier than Freddy Kruger in your dreams is him on a dancing show. Though I should be honest, if I was to see Kruger do the Waltz I might change my mind. Perhaps Dancing with the Stars should change its name to Dancing with the Cinematic Killers. Wouldn't you love Freddy vs. Jason 2: The Streets? Freddy break dancing while Jason throws down a mad step routine. It could work! Hollywood, you're very welcome.
The Karate Kid: To me, KK was the surprise hit of the summer. Making (roughly) $176m domestic, and over $350m worldwide (on a budget of $40m = score!), I'm definitely putting this on my DVD potential list. I would be remiss if I didn't point out that I'm still not ready to accept Jaden Smith as a viable star. Personally, until he moves in with his big judge relative, sports bright clothing, gets a dimwitted DJ as a friend, and a series of cheesy rap routines, I'll never accept him as a real Smith. Sorry kid, I know it's not your fault, sometimes you just have to live up to the name you were born with. Now get out there and make something catchy out of the word Jiggy! We believe in you.
Splice: After dissecting the word carefully I've decided Splice comes from the ever dangerous Spotted Lice. Which leads me to the only logical plot synopsis for this film: It's about an invasion of killer spotted lice, splice (*wink*), seeking to take over the world as we know it. The only person who can stop them is a renegade doctor who uses the power of the sexy nose to take control of them. Adrien Brody, deliver us from evil! Sarah Polly, keep being awesome. Everyone else involved... who are you again? I kid I kid, that's mean, and I would never say that to their face. That's way too mean.
Other Releases: The Secret of Kells (My Review), The Human Centipede (Oh joy), Elvis and Anabelle, Oxford Murders
Other Goodies:
The Exorcist (Director's Cut - Blu-Ray): Max von Sydow, I rest my case!
Humphrey Bogart: The Essential Collection: Everything from his classical hits like Treasure of the Sierra Madre and Casablanca to his lesser known films, this collection has 24 awesome Bogart films. And for $80 bucks, even I'd be hard pressed not to fork it over (despite the fact that I have almost no money) for all that! I just hope that the quality of them match, and it's not one of those eh collections of mediocre prints.
The Adventures of Robin Hood: So Errol Flynn, we meet again! One of these days I shall watch you, I promise. Just not know.... I've got a lot of Bogart to catch up with!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy hunting everyone!
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