My Week In Movies - Scusi!

Super 8 (2011) This is supposed to be an affectionate love letter to the Steven Spielberg films of the late 70's - early 80's, but there's just way too much CG shenanigns to really put me into the the whole atmosphere they were trying to recreate. I could totally relate to the kids spending their whole summer trying to make a movie (been there, done that - except I was in my 20's) and some of the action is pretty intense. But the ending, which kind comes out of left field, is supposed to be a tribute to E.T. but it's more like a half baked ending to an otherwise action packed film.

That's Entertainment, Part 2 (1976) I really enjoyed the first clip-filled documentary in this series, but this second instalment is basically just a bunch of random old film clips slapped together with some fairly not-to-entertaining new footage of Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire. It's not a complete waste of time, but it's also not the history lesson in Hollywood lore that the first film was.

101 Dalmatians II: Patch's London Adventure (2002) I've always been a big supporter of the Disney Direct-To-DVD movies. Sure, none of them are near as good as the originals - but as films on their own some of them are pretty darn good. I'd honestly have to put this sequel to 1960's 101 Dalmatians near the top of the list of Mickey's hack job cartoon pics. The story is pretty solid, there are plenty of references and allusions to the first film (without being too obvious) and the animation is top notch. The very 60's style of the classic movie is recreated faithfully and the brisk running time wraps things up before there's a chance to yawn. I was really impressed with this production and rather enjoyed it too.

Eurotrip (2004) Saw this when it first came out and didn't think much of it, but rewatched it and laughed my head off. A bare bones plot about a high school graduate going to Germany to meet his pen pal/girl of his dreams is just an excuse to move the guy and his buddies through various adventures through Europe. There's a nude beach, an over the top sex club in Amsterdam, and a probably offensive visit to the Vatican - but it's all in fun. Good solid silly sex comedy that still holds up. It's airing on HBO this month.

January Movie Count: 22
Best New Movie: The Help
Best Rewatch: Beauty & The Beast
Worst Movie: Monte Carlo

Trailer Tuesday - The Van (1977)

Trailer Tuesday - Dangerous Curves (1988)

Trailer Tuesday - Spring Break (1983)

My Week In Movies - The Wrath of Blogger

Blogger had some maintenance issues this week and in the process they seemed to have yanked down my latest "My Week in Movies" post and then lost the final draft in my dashboard. I don't feel like rewriting, I'm pretty sure it was up for a day or so. Anywho, here's what I still have for posterity sake and we'll pick back up with the feature next week!

Duel (1971) The other night I was trying to decide what to watch for my evening movie and I thought to myself - I should watch something really good...for a change. So I decided on Steven Spielberg's film debut, a really tight story about a guy driving a car and a truck that's out to kill him. There's not much of a backstory here, or much in the way of characters. It's a simple game of cat and mouse that is perfectly laid out and extremely intense and creepy. A really good movie which was actually a TV-movie and then expanded into a theatrical feature. Good stuff!

Ghost Story (1981) I actually remember when this came out, I was 8 years old. I didn't see it. I'm sure I had no interest in it. I just remember seeing this poster at the movie theatre way back then. I've wanted to see it in recent years because it is the final screen credit of Fred Astaire. And I'm sure I'm not the only one who didn't expect to find full frontal male nudity in Fred Astaire's last picture. It's not 81 year old Astaire who we see in his birthday suit, but it was still surprising. The story involves four old friends who share a deep dark secret. It starts off really slow and confusing at first, but the movie picks up and was quite entertaining. There's still a few good scares left in this 30 year old horror movie. It's available on Netflix streaming.


Revenge of the Cheerleaders (1976) I'm a huge fan of the 1973 film The Cheerleaders which might just be one of the silliest movies ever committed to film. Surprisingly, I've never seen it's sequel which sadly takes itself a little more seriously.

I also saw:



Blondie Goes Latin (1941)
Spider-Man 2 (2004)
American Raspberry (1977)
Blondie In Society (1941)

My Week In Movies - Fly The Friendly Skies

Stewardess School (1986) In the wake of the success of Police Academy in 1984, there was a tidal wave of movies ripping off the formula and trying to make a quick buck. As you can imagine, I've seen a good number of Police Academy rip-offs and few are more blatantly stealing from the original than Stewardess School. I first saw this on HBO years ago, as I anxiously awaited it's debut after a brief theatrical run. Recently, while researching silly movies of the 80's, this title was reactivated in my memory banks but I was disappointed to discover that it had not been released on DVD. So, imagine my delight when Stewardess School popped up on the Sony Movie Channel the other night! Ultimately, this sex comedy is horrible - but it's having so much fun trying to be wild and wacky that you just can't help but have a good time while watching it. The movie follows the traditional group of misfits, each with one personality trait, as they enroll in...well, you guessed it - Stewardess School. Police Academy is further ripped off with the plot point that the academy has recently lowered it's standards of admissions and there is an mean, strict instructor who tries to get the various students kicked out of the program. Neither of these borrowed plot devices has any baring on the story - but they are thrown in for good measure. The great cast includes Ralph Mouth from Happy Days, Jack Tripper's wife from Three's A Crowd, Zed's girlfriend from Police Academy 4, and the fat girl from Bosom Buddies. A worse movie has never been more enjoyable.

Spider-Man (2002) We were in the mood for some Super Hero action the other night, and Spidey fit the bill just perfectly. I forgot how good this movie was. The was the first screening for my little ones. They were completely awe struck with the proceedings. When Peter Parker eventually dons the traditional Spider-Man suit and heads out into the city swinging on webs from buildings...my children might as well have been watching actual video footage of the creation of the universe. They simply went out of their minds with excitement! Which made the movie all the more enjoyable for me. Also, I loves me some Kirsten Dunst! We can't wait to tear into number two, which I've never seen!

April Movie Count: 13 (disappointing)
Best New Movie: Rio (slow month)
Best Rewatch: Yogi Bear
Worst Movie: Country Strong
2011 Movie Count: 70

My Week In Movies - It's A Bunny and He Talks

Hop (2011) Even though the television ads show the scene where the Easter Bunny poops out jelly beans, this family comedy is pretty much free of any other bathroom humor. Unfortunately, it's pretty much free of any humor at all. There's a few chuckles here and there, but most of all this film about the Easter Bunny coming to Hollywood to break into showbiz is pretty lackluster. The kids enjoyed it, and in the end that's all that counts. It's not painful to sit thorough - it's just not very enjoyable. There's a few nice cameos in the film, including a surprise by Playboy founder Hugh Hefner. After all, if there's one guy that knows about bunnies, it's Hef. Rated PG for some mild rude humor.

Due Date (2010) From the folks who brought us The Hangover comes this reworking of the classic "everything that can go wrong will go wrong" road trip movie. Story wise, it's very similar to Planes, Trains and Automobiles. Robert Downey Jr. and Zach Galifianakis made a good team, but it's mostly the latter that provides the jokes in this comedy. This is a good vehicle for Zach Galifianakis and hopefully he can continue to find roles like this that show off his comedic talents. It's Rated R for language, and a brief sexual situation involving one person.

Screwballs (1983) Here's another ultra-silly sex comedy that somehow slipped by me in my teenage years. It's a classic in the genre and was just released on DVD so I was excited to finally get a chance to see it. And honestly, who wouldn't be excited about seeing a movie with a Strip Bowling scene in it? In so many of these movies, the story revolves around guys trying to get lucky with girls. Whether it's their first time or not, it's almost always about landing in the sack. Screwballs sets it's sights a little lower. Five guys in detention make it their mission to see snobby classmate Purity Busch's bare breasts before the end of the school year. Oh, those boys try and try but never quite succeed. Needless to say, their efforts do pay off before the end of the film. Just to drive home the fact that this movie is only about guys seeing a girls boobs, the second the prized cleavage is revealed - the credits begin to roll. Classic! Rated R for non-stop profanity, sexual situations and of course, nudity!

The Love Bug (1969) The kids asked the other night if we could watch the original Herbie movie, and after wiping the tears of joy from my eyes, I of course agreed. They didn't watch Herbie Rides Again with me the other week (they opted for an evening with their good friend Lego Batman instead) so this was their first exposure to a Herbie movie. They loved it and it honestly brought me great joy to see how utterly delighted they were when Herbie took off driving himself around and making everyone crazy. The kids laughed and squealed through the whole movie and when it came time for the climatic race at the end of the picture, they were on the edge of the sofa cheering Herbie on. Even though this movie is 42 years old (and certainly a product of it's time,) like most Disney movies it holds up incredibly well for today's kids. There are a couple of talky scenes in the middle but for the most part it's free-wheeling fun from start to finish. Movie perfection! Rated G, there is quite a bit of drinking - some of it necessary to explain the events in the story. However, it's all pretty innocent...and awesome!

March Movie Count: 23
Best New Viewing: Ramona & Beezus
Best Rewatch: The Love Bug
Worst Movie: *imps
2011 Movie Count: 57

My Week In Movies - Did I Mention Herbie is Awesome

Waiting For "Superman" (2010) I watch alot of documentaries so I can confidently say that I didn't think this movie was all it was hyped up to be. Sure, the problem with this country's public school system is horrible and something that everybody should be concerned about. But as a movie, this film played more like an extended news report than a feature film. It bounces all around from topic to topic and never really offers any solutions or suggestions on how to fix our problems. Every once and a while, one of these documentary films breaks into the mainstream film market and it's usually something to sit up and pay attention to, but this one felt like it was more the issue that was getting all the attention instead of the actual film product. It did win the National Board of Review Best Documentary prize, but it wasn't even nominated for an Oscar or Golden Globe. Perhaps the biggest problem with me and this film is that I have children in the failing United States public school system, so there wasn't much this film opened my eyes to. Rated PG - there's a few casually dropped "hell" and "damn" as well as some smoking.


The Virginity Hit (2010) Here's an example of a film trying to do something different but then not having any actual material to back up the idea. Instead of making another run of the mill, generic teenage sex comedy - the filmmakers here decided to film their tale as if it were all shot by the kids in the story. It's American Pie for the YouTube generation, except unlike American Pie: it's not funny. There is virtually no point to this movie about a group of guys who set off on a quest to get their buddy's V-card punched and videotape the whole experience. There's not much to laugh at in this picture and you just can't get by the fact that the cast was obviously picked for their resemblance to the dudes from Superbad. Just a horrible excuse for a sex comedy with too much going on and none of it being funny. Rated R for language, sexual situations, drugs and nudity.


Chloe (2009) Last week we watched Julianne Moore in a gay marriage having a straight affair. This week we watched Julianne Moore in a straight marriage have a lesbian affair. I have to say, as far as affairs go I preferred the later. But as far as movies, this wasn't so hot. Moore suspects her husband, Liam Neeson, of being unfaithful so she hires a hooker, played by Little Red Riding Hood herself Amanda Seyfried, to attempt to seduce her husband to see if he's get it in him. The affair between husband and hooker goes a little too far and Julianne Moore gets caught up in the heat of the moment. A little too much actually as she also finds herself in bed with the prostitute. It was actually a pretty decent film, but it's just got that little missing something-or-other that makes it feel like a direct-to-DVD movie instead of a full fledged feature film. It's in heavy rotation in all the Redboxes, so that about sums it all up. We watched it on Netflix streaming. Rated R for very heavy sexual themes including situations and language. There is also a bit o' violence too.

Herbie Rides Again (1974) To prepare myself for meeting Herbie face to bumper at the Antique Auto Museum this past weekend, I popped in my copy of the second of the five Herbie movies. I don't know if I could say I have a favorite of the Herbie films, but this is a real solid entry as Herbie helps an old lady save her home from an evil land developer. (As you know, I have a soft spot in my heart for cinematic evil land developers.) Hollywood legend Helen Hayes, whose onscreen career goes back to 1917) stared in this hit movie. It was her first comedic role and she grabbed a Golden Globe award nomination for Best Actress thanks to it. And that's no small task when you are sharing your screen time with Herbie. What is also interesting is that Mrs. Hayes chose this as her next role after winning the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for her previous role in Airport. If you haven't seen a Herbie movie in a while, or if your kids aren't familiar with him, you should pop on in for a solid night of family entertainment. Rated G.

Zapped! (1982) The comedy powerhouse duo of Scott Baio and Willie Aames started here in this comedic spin on Stephen King's Carrie. I was 9 years old when this movie came out, yet somehow it feels like it's always been on my radar. I've always wanted to see it, but it's just been one of those films I've never caught up with. The poster/box art promises Baio with super abilities to make girls skirts fly up. What a great premise to base 90 minutes of entertainment on! Unfortunately, there's not one single skirt flipping scene in the entire movie. In fact, Baio's character doesn't use his telekinetic powers for much of anything. There's some really good moments and one-liners in this hit teenage comedy, but overall it's kind of a dud. The principal of the school is played by Robert Mandan who you might remember as Chester Tate on Soap, but to me he'll always be Jack Tripper's father-in-law on Three's A Crowd. (I love that show!) Mandan provides some great moments in a subplot involving the principal using a dating service. Overall, don't promise me a movie with the plot of making girls skirts fly up and then don't deliver! Rated R for language, sex and nudity. There is also some drug use.

Weekend With The Babysitter (1970) I've been into some drive-in classics lately, reading about them and tracking some of them down on DVD. This one keeps coming up as a minor classic, it's actually a follow-up to The Babysitter from a year earlier. The first half starts off pretty interesting but then it just drags on for the second half. Candy, the babysitter, shows up for the evening just as Mrs. Carlton is getting ready to take her son to her mother's house for the weekend. It turns out Candy has her dates mixed up! Candy ends up sticking around to hang out with Mr. Carlton. They discuss his work, they go to a bar and then they get high in the back of a van. (Vans were like entertainment centers in the 70's.) The next day, Candy and Mr. Carlton spend an ungodly amount of time riding motor cross bikes. Then they have sex. On the third day, they go and save his wife who is now held captive on a boat by some drug lords. All in a weekend's work for The Babysitter! Rated R for language, violence, sex & nudity and it's the 70's so there's drugs too.

Fantastic Trailer

Last week I mentioned the smutty classic Hardbodies, another film in the genre of "Let's Go To The Beach And Engage In Empty Sexual Relations." It's a fun little film and it still holds up in it's own silly little way. I want you to watch the original theatrical trailer for this movie. While I do enjoy the film, this trailer is so much better than the movie. If I had seen this trailer in the theatre (especially when I was 11, when the movie came out) I would have went absolutely bonkers for it. Hardbodies in no way lives up to the wacky zaniness that this promotional piece suggests. If you've seen the film and then the trailer, it's almost as if Columbia Pictures was straight up telling you they were putting out the stupidest, crappiest movie they've ever made.

My Week in Movies - Best Picture #3 For Me!

The Kids Are All Right (2010) It's not often that I see multiple Best Picture nominees in one year, but here's my third from the past year. This lesbian themed drama is all about the cast featuring Annette Bening in her Oscar winning performance along with the wonderful Julianne Moore, who I've been a fan of since her turn on 30 Rock. The cast also features Mark Ruffalo and Mia Wasikowska - who played Alice in Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland last year. The story is both dramatic, romantic and funny with Bening and Moore as a couple with two kids. When the kids locate their biological father, the family of four becomes a family of five and many complications arise. The ending is not as tight as I'm used to in a flick, but overall it's a fun journey. This Oscar winning film is rated R for language, themes, nudity and graphic sexual situations.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988) My kids had never seen this classic comedy so it was about time we fixed that. It's amazing in just 23 years certain things that were ok in a family film now seem a bit inappropriate. There's alot of liquor to be had in Roger Rabbit's world. There's talk of booze, there's lots of people drinking it and abusing it. It just kind of sticks out like a sore thumb because I don't think much alcohol would be permitted in a PG rated movie today. There is also a fair bit of profanity for a movie about cartoon characters, but it's all still a fun movie. Kids today are even phased by the blending of animation and live action but back in the day when this movie was released it blew us all out of the water. It wasn't the first time cartoons and humans have appeared on screen together, but it never looked like this before. I still don't fully understand the story here, but it's just fun to watch Roger Rabbit run around the place, bouncing off of walls and just being plain silly! The film starts off with a fully animated Roger Rabbit short. I remember sitting in the theatre when I was 14 years old and laughing myself silly at that cartoon. My kids enjoyed it just the same, howling with laughter in the opening moments of the film. This material holds up!

Hardbodies (1984) For fans of the T & A flicks of the 80's, this is a minor classic. With above average production values and actors who can actually act, Hardbodies was even released by a real movie studio - Columbia Pictures. The story, as if it were important, involves three middle aged guys renting a beach house and hoping to score with hot chicks. When they prove to be rusty in their pick up techniques, they make a deal with a local kid who shows them the ropes on how to impress the ladies of the beach circa 1984. This is one of those late night classics that aired on HBO quite often in my youth. The video cassette of this flick is also one of the all-time top renters, which is why I included a picture of the old VHS box. It's available nowadays on a two movie DVD with the inferior sequel, Hardbodies 2. You can also catch this on Netflix, where it's been recently added to their Watch Instantly lineup. As you could guess it's rated R for nudity, language, sexual situations and even a heaping dose of drug use. They just don't make `em like this anymore!

My Week In Movies - March Comes In Like A Lizard

Rango (2011) An odd animated tale with Johnny Depp as a lizard who gets wrapped up in the troubles of a small western town. Rango ends up becoming the sheriff of Dirt, and helps the town folk restore their lost water supply. It's kind of a neat idea to do an animated western, and this movie does look neat but it's too odd and strange in the beginning to really get into. By the second half, things start to get rolling but 107 minutes the whole affair is a little too long to hold kids attentions. There are lots of jokes aimed at adults and as my son noted, most of the verbal humor went over the kids heads. If you enjoy animated features it's worth checking out as some point. Rated PG for violence and mild profanity.

The Other Guys (2010) What starts out as a pretty smart parody of the action genre, eventually just becomes the standard run of the mill police picture. Will Ferrell and Marky Mark are mismatched partners who stumble upon the biggest case of their careers. Michael Keaton shows up as the department's chief, and he's really good. It makes you wish Keaton was still headlining vehicles of his own. There's a bunch of other familiar faces that pop up along the way and it's nice to see Ferrell play a somewhat normal guy instead of an over-the-top SNL character which he's done effectively in the past but just a bit too often. Theatrically the film was rated PG-13, the DVD features both the theatrical cut and an unrated version. I watched the unrated version and didn't see anything that went beyond a PG-13. It's all the usual swearing, violence and sexual innuendo.

Grown Ups (2010) This Adam Sandler comedy from last summer has absolutely no plot. I don't just mean a flimsy excuse for a plot, I'm talking about no attempt at a story what-so-ever. But you know what, every movie doesn't need a story. This is just some good simple fun as five buddies get back together after 30 years to pay their last respects to their high school basketball coach. All the business with the coach is wrapped up in the first 15 minutes of the movie and the rest of the picture is just the great cast of Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, Rob Schneider and David Spade just cracking on each other and having a good time. It's exactly the kind of time you'd love to spend with a handful of old buddies of yours. Rated PG-13 for dirty words and dirty jokes.

imps* (The Immoral Minority Picture Show) (1983/2009) Now, this is saying alot coming from me...but this has to be one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I was excited to dig up another sketch movie from the past but this one was a real stinker. The sense of humor in this thing is so lame, what passes for a joke wouldn't even make a 7 year old laugh. The title suggests that this movie is a take-off on the Moral Majority, with content supposedly so offensive it will offend everyone. It never really gets raunchy it also never really gets funny. There's a parade of familiar faces in it but none of them are given anything to do. The skits build and build to a punchline that never pays off...if there even is a punchline at the end of the skit. This flick is so terrible it was apparently completed in 1983 but NEVER saw the light of day until a DVD release in 2009. The world wasn't missing anything all those years. Rated R for language, attempted crude humor, sexual situations and nudity.

The Pom Pom Girls (1976) We spent last weekend at the beach and there happened to be a Cheerleader competition in town. The whole resort town was crawling with cheerleaders aged 4 to 18. In honor of our time with the cheerleaders I thought I'd catch up on a couple of my favorite cheerleader movies. I hadn't seen The Pom Pom Girls in a long time and it was fun to revisit it. This is one of those low budget, drive-in classics that the old USA Network used to run on weekend nights on USA Up All Night. This one was in heavy rotation and I saw it many times in my high school years. According to my internet research, this R rated high school flick was a big box office performer and was later reissued in a slightly trimmed PG version. My copy appears to be the PG version as it's not as steamy as the poster suggests. It also doesn't really have anything to do with cheerleading or the Pom Pom girls. It's about two dudes and three gals that just hang out during their last year of high school. They make-out in vans, they drink, they have food fights and they steal a fire engine in broad daylight...you know, typical high school stuff! It's actually a fairly innocent look at a time gone by when life was much more simpler. The PG rated version has some swearing and fairly heavy sexual situations but there is no nudity. From what I can tell, the R rated cut had a couple of locker room scenes with topless cheerleaders. Still fun in the watered down PG rated version.

You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger (2010) Woody Allen's latest film takes all the familiar characters, situations and film making techniques of all his other movies and gently mixes them up for a light but pleasant look at finding true love and dealing with relationships that have run their course. Woody's newest cliche' that he seems to be employing alot recently is a narrator who keeps the film popping along at a nice pace. Woody's not on screen in this one, but Anthony Hopkins does a nice job playing the "Woody" role. I'm not good enough a writer to try and sum up the events in this film. Rated R for language.

My Week In Movies - Dead Bodies

Jennifer's Body (2009)[R] Every once in a while I'll watch a horror (or more often a semi-horror) movie and remember why I don't watch horror movies often. This hell-bent high school horror/"comedy" was written by Diablo Cody, who gave us the wonderfully charming Juno. The comedy aspect of this dud is when Cody uses her trademark high school dialogue in situations that involve satanic sacrifice and demonic possession. It doesn't work. After sitting through an hour of lame fake scares and low grade teen angst drama, the climax of this film just comes off as dopey. Anyone looking for a good scare will be very disappointed and anyone looking for a few laughs will be equally let down.




Extract (2009)[R] Another massive let down from a gifted filmmaker. Mike Judge is responsible for three very funny films: Beavis and Butt-Head Do America, Office Space, and Idiocracy. My hopes were a little high on his fourth movie especially since it didn't do well at the box office - I assumed the general public just didn't "get it". Well, I didn't get it either. Extract stars Jason Bateman as the owner of a flavor extract company who is unhappy in his marriage, so he hires someone to have an affair with his wife so that he won't feel guilty cheating on his wife. Haven't we seen stories similar to this a million times!? There's also a subplot about one of Bateman's employee's suing the company over workman's comp. Just plain not funny! There's supposedly some social commentary/satire hidden in this flick...but I couldn't "extract" it...get it!? See what I did there!?

American Pie Presents The Book of Love (2009) [UR] Believe it or not, this was my first foray into the world of American Pie made-for-DVD sequels. For those of you that lost track, Book of Love is the fourth DVD sequel making it part 7 in the overall franchise! I gotta say this about the movie, it is easily the most well-produced direct-to-DVD movie I have ever seen. The production values across the board are on par with any Hollywood blockbuster. The plot, of course, is minimal at best. Three friends stumble upon a legendary book full of notes on how to hook up with girls at their school. There's an attempt at some heart here...and the characters aren't all just two dimensional idiots. There's also the trademark American Pie gross-out scenes, which aren't quite as gross as I think they'd like to be, but the film doesn't push them in your face as aggressively as other comedies of it's type. This movie also boasts a great collection of cameos which I'd love to give away...but I won't! Overall, an enjoyable modern day teenage sex comedy that makes me wonder if I've missed anything in American Pies 4 - 6.

Up (2009)[PG] I'm happy to say that I didn't cry at the beginning or the end on this second viewing of the Pixar masterpiece. Read my original write-up from 7/5/09.

My Week In Movies - Ladies and Gentlemen, Academy Award Nominated Actor Liam Neeson and Scooby-Doo

Taken (2009) Between the fact that I usually only watch comedies and kids films and that Taken is a really well made action picture, my heart was literally thumping out of my chest watching this fantastically intense thriller. Liam Neeson's daughter gets kidnapped and sold into white slavery while vacationing in France. Luckily, Neeson's character was some sort of top secret government spy trained to kill anyone who gets in his way. So, he hops a plane to France and starts kicking butt left and right on his quest to find his daughter. This movie is tight! And by that I mean there isn't much unnecessary time spent in this film. Once the girl gets nabbed, the rest of the film is about getting her back. Very well done movie that I probably wouldn't have seen if it wasn't for my wife.

Scooby-Doo! The Mystery Begins (2009) Much better than the previous two theatrical Scooby Doo movies, The Mystery Begins is much closer in spirit to the original 1960's cartoon show. In fact, this direct-to-DVD movie nails the transition from beloved cartoon series to live-action motion picture. Directed by Brian Levant, who also directed both of The Flintstones movies, Scooby-Doo meets up with Shaggy and the rest of the gang for their very first mystery. The special effects are kept to a minimum and the focus is on the friendship that forms between these four kids (and one dog.) There's some nice nods to the TV show while bringing the whole Scooby-Doo universe up-to-date in a non-obnoxious way. I was honestly blown away by how much better The Mystery Begins is over Scooby-Doo (2002) and Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004). If you were let down by the first attempt to bring Mystery Inc. into the real world, rent this movie (or catch it on Cartoon Network) and you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Loose Screws (1985) Imagine a film spoken almost entirely in double entendre. It's kind of like a Mad Magazine comic that goes on for 75 minutes. In this Canadian classic, four guys get sent off to a boarding school where they decide to devise a point system for all the girls in the school and then see who can score the most points hooking up with the girls. Yes, it's as tasteless as it sounds. The boys all set their sites on the new French teacher, 100-point Miss Mona Lott. Get it, Mona Lott? Everybody's name in this movie is a pun/entendre...but that's the only one I can publish here at WWoB. None of the guys ever do hook up with Miss Lott, but at the graduation ceremony at the end of the movie a statue comes to life and blows marijuana smoke all over the place causing Mona Lott to do a striptease in front of the whole student body. Oh Canadians, you guys have all the fun!

My Week In Movies - Claws & Balls

Hamburger The Motion Picture (1986) This week I finally hooked up the ol' VCR back to the big TV in the living room after having gone without it since the great DirecTV/surround sound install of February `09. The first movie I popped into the cassette player was the classic 1980's T&A comedy Hamburger The Motion Picture which I recently purchased at a flea market for two bucks. This is one of an endless number of Police Academy rip-offs that I adored when I was younger. Instead of training to become police officers, we meet a group of young misfits who are all training to run their own Buster Burger franchise. They all take classes like Pickleology 101 and learn how to treat customers rudely. In classic Police Academy rip-off style, each of the characters has one personality trait upon which all jokes are hung. Among the new recruits at Buster Burger University are a fat guy, a nerd, a South American freedom fighter complete with strips of ammo criss crossed across her chest, a ladies man, and of course...a nun. One of the new guys is so irresistible to women that he keeps finding himself at the mercy of topless girls who want to have their way with him. This of course provides the film with plenty of opportunity to show off some bare skin. But unlike alot of other 80's teen sex comedies, this one is pretty funny. It also features perhaps the greatest big screen performance of Dick Butkus' career ( I mean, he was great as Klawicki on My Two Dads but that was just TV!)

Beach Balls (1988) Delighted to have my VCR back, I dug through my library of tapes and rediscovered another low budget sex-minded brainless film from the 1980's. Here's the plot: Charlie likes beautiful Wendy, but Wendy likes Keith - some dude from a local hair metal band. So to impress Wendy, Charlie lets Keith's band perform at a big party at his parent's house while they are away at an anti-rock n' roll rally. Ok, that's not really a plot as much as it is just something that happens but that's all this simple movie needs to move along through an hour and fifteen minutes of smart ass remarks, girls in bikinis and more than one extended performance from a terrible metal band. Whether it knows it or not, Beach Balls takes it tone and structure from the classic Beach Party movies of the `60's. This isn't a great movie, but as someone who has seen every movie with the word "BEACH" in the title, I'd have to say it's above average.

Hannah Montana: The Movie (2009) You at least have to give me credit for admitting that I watched this movie. I usually watch just about every Disney movie that comes down the pike, plus I'm always interested in a movie version of a TV show, especially when the show is still on. I'm not really a Hannah Montana fan, I've seen the show once (when Larry David was on) but I do have to confess I love the hell out of that song "Party in the U.S.A. Anywho...Getting back to the movie, Hannah Montana: The Movie was probably the first theatre going experience for alot of kids. The movie downplays the slapstick nature of the TV show and opens up the world to Miley/Hannah with a visit to her hometown in Tennessee where life is quite different from the Hollywood lifestyle she's used to. There's about a dozen songs in this movie, some G-rated romantic story lines and some stuff that probably makes more sense if you watch the show. In the end, it's a nice slow-paced wholesome movie that Disney is known for.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) Here's another movie I went into not knowing much of the backstory. I've never seen any of the other X-Men movies, in fact all I know about the X-Men is that Wolverine is one of them and I think Firestar and/or Ice Man from the old Spider-Man cartoon might have been in the X-Men at one time or another, I don't really know.

Wolverine kicked off the summer movie season this year and raked in...or should I say "clawed in"...close to $180 million domestically. What? Really!?! It's pretty much just two hours of Wolverine running around and killing people/things. I'm so sick of movies that rely entirely on CG. If you want to use computers to make a horse's mouth move while he talks...that's great, but two hours of fake explosions and monsters that jump around like cartoon characters doesn't really hold my interest. The only reason I saw this movie is because my 6 year old son was begging me to watch it. I'll give kudos to the filmmakers for not putting anything too inappropriate in this movie, but I found it to be a big snooze fest.