Fantastic Trailer

Last week I mentioned the smutty classic Hardbodies, another film in the genre of "Let's Go To The Beach And Engage In Empty Sexual Relations." It's a fun little film and it still holds up in it's own silly little way. I want you to watch the original theatrical trailer for this movie. While I do enjoy the film, this trailer is so much better than the movie. If I had seen this trailer in the theatre (especially when I was 11, when the movie came out) I would have went absolutely bonkers for it. Hardbodies in no way lives up to the wacky zaniness that this promotional piece suggests. If you've seen the film and then the trailer, it's almost as if Columbia Pictures was straight up telling you they were putting out the stupidest, crappiest movie they've ever made.

Hey Kids Look! A Charlie Sheen Post

After catching up with the whole Charlie Sheen story on Dateline NBC Friday night, I see why the country is talking about him and paying attention to him. He's a nut job! He's putting on a show for the public, but it's a darn entertaining show because he appears to be out of his freakin' gourd! And my thing is...who does he think he really is? He did a handful of good/popular movies in the 80's and somewhat into the 90's but other than that his body of work is made up of mostly direct to DVD movies over the past decade or so. And his show, Two and a Half Men, is only the most popular situation comedy on television because it's really the only old fashioned traditional sitcom on right now that plays to the lowest common denominator. I guarantee that show could go on for another couple of years without him! Anywho...I thought I'd take this opportunity to share with you my opinion of the five best films Mr. Sheen has done. Nope, I never saw Wall Street or Platoon...I didn't even see The Three Musketeers. In fact, the only time I've seen Two and a Half Men was on a plane! But I do love these movies...


Scary Movie 3 (2003) Scary Movie 2 was possibly one of the worst follow-ups in comedy history. That movie is terrible. But what a comeback with the third instalment where they got Airplane! director David Zucker on board and brought this franchise to new heights. Charlie Sheen spoofs the Mel Gibson role from Signs and it's a pretty darn funny movie. Sheen's ex-wife Denise Richards is also in the cast along with Queen Latifah, series regular Anna Faris, Leslie Nielsen and George Carlin in one of his last on screen performances.

The Chase (1994) This is a really fun movie where Chuck holds up a gas station and then takes Kristy Swanson as his hostage. Most of the film is a chase, hence the title, and it all is sort of reminiscent of the O.J. Simpson car chase that happened not to long before this flick came out. The highlight of this action comedy is a love scene between Sheen and Swanson, not necessarily because it's sexy or anything like that but because for 2 or 3 minutes the front seat of the getaway car apparently stretches out to the size of a hotel room. Also, they have sex going down the highway at 104 MPH?!?

Major League II (1994) Ok, this movie is actually not very good...in fact it's awful. But it's on my list simply because I was an extra in this limp comedy. Somewhere near the one hour mark, look in the stands behind 3rd base and you can see me and a bunch of my buddies from college. You won't really see me unless you have me standing next to your TV with a pointer and my hand on the freeze button, but I'm definitely in there! What a fun evening it was, sitting around watching a baseball game without a baseball being used. (I guess the balls were CG'ed in later.)

Hot Shots! (1991)/Hot Shots! Part Deux (1993) These two films are comedy masterpieces brought to us by another Airplane! director, Jim Abrahams. The first film is a hilarious send up of Top Gun, the second sets it's sights more on the Rambo films. In each, Charlie Sheen plays Topper Harley along with Lloyd Bridges and Valeria Golino. There are plenty of brilliant sight gags, witty word play and cameos galore. Several other films are spoofed along the way including a classic Lady and the Tramp homage in the second film. Both these films did big business at the box office and are required viewing in the Ed South School of Movie Comedy.

Men At Work (1990) A quirky dark comedy with Sheen and his brother Emilio Estevez as trash men who stumble upon a dead body while doing their job. I believe this film popularized the classic "golf clap" bit. It's been a while since I've seen this one, but I remember enjoying quite a bit when I saw it in the theatre and watched it several times on home video.

My Week In Movies - Let's Go, 2011

Super Mario Bros. (1993) The poster says "This Ain't No Game," but what it should say is "This Ain't Nothing To Do With The Game!" My kids were pretty excited when they learned from their old man that at one time somebody had made a Super Mario Bros. movie with "real people." I remember thinking the movie was pretty clever when I saw it in the theatre 18 years ago. Unfortunately, this is yet another movie that I'll have to move off the list of movies I saw when I was younger and really liked to the list of movies that I can barely sit through anymore. This jumbled mess of a motion picture has little to do with the classic Nintendo video game which it's based upon. Instead, we get a fairly confusing tale of two plumbers who get sucked into another dimension and have to save the world from the ruler of an alternate universe where everyone evolved from dinosaurs instead of apes. Sound confusing? It is. It's one of those movies where they've created this whole other world and while it's supposed to be futuristic and really cool - it's just plain weird and confusing. The filmmakers didn't even include any of the iconic sound effects from the game. The only thing this film has in common with the video game are some character names. Bob Hoskins (of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? fame) plays Mario and John Leguizamo is his brother Luigi. Hoskins is a British actor and Leguizamo is usually associated with Latino roles. Casting these two as brothers, is only the beginning of where this movie goes wrong. Still, without it's association with the source material it's an okay popcorn movie. My kids seemed to enjoy it. Rated PG for some action, silly violence and a few off-color words.

The Boys: The Sherman Brothers' Story (2009) You might not know who the Sherman Brothers are, but you sure know their music. They are mostly associated with Disney movies starting with Mary Poppins and continuing with The Jungle Book, Winnie the Pooh and so many others. This recent documentary, put together by children of the subject matter, offers a history lesson and a look at the tensions between working siblings. A rivalry that has gone fairly undetected by Disney fans up until now. There are plenty of juicy rare clips as well as plenty of toe tapping tunes. At more than one occasion, you'll be surprise to discover that "they wrote that song too!" Although the movie starts off teasing a dark side to the brothers' that never really pans out, The Boys is a fascinating and entertaining documentary. It's non-fiction film making done right! Rated PG for some adult themes and a few mild curse words tossed off in conversation.

Francis (1950) If you know me, ya know I like my movies feather-weight. I'm not much for story or any of that nonsense, I'm just looking for some laughs and smiles. I'm starting to discover, the further back in Hollywood's history you look there are some super light weight movies that have less story than a Police Academy marathon. Which brings me to the Francis the Talking Mule series. There were seven movies made in the 50's staring Francis, a talking Army mule who only spoke to Donald O'Connor and then a few other people if the situation called for it. This is all a precursor to Mr. Ed, the more famous talking horse which was produced by the same people as Francis. In the first movie, hilariousness abounds as Francis befriends Peter, a young Army soldier. Francis gives Peter insider information which helps Peter further his career in the Army. Of course when Peter gives his buddy Francis all the credit, good times ensue! Good stuff!

Francis Goes to the Races (1951) I liked Francis so much, I watched the sequel the next night. The second film picks up right where the first one left off and moves briskly along. Since we've already met Francis at the top of the film, the laughs start off quickly. Here, Peter and Francis end up at a race track and Peter gets mixed up with some mobsters when they discover Peter has some insider tips on who's gonna win each race. Guess who gave him the tips? I'll give you a hint...it's someone who can talk to horses! More fun! Can't wait to get my hands on the third instalment. Not rated but does contain scene involving a drunk mule.

The Fox and The Hound (1981) It's kinda lame that my kids had never seen this semi-classic but they've seen the silly direct-to-DVD sequel a handful of times. The Fox and the Hound is a beautifully made movie. It's very moody and quiet and comforting. I was a bit disappointed to discover my copy is not widescreen. Rated G.

Cavegirl (1985) Here's the plot of this gem...a nerdy high school kid (who looks like he's in his early 30's) goes on a field trip and somehow gets zapped back in time to the caveman period. There he meets a beautiful young bikini-clad cavegirl. Instead of trying to find a way home, he invests all his time and energy into getting the cavegirl into bed. He even builds a bed. They actually attempted to make this movie funny throughout, but most of the gags fall flat. The cavegirl is very easy on the eyes, but the rest of the cast is hard to stomach - both their appearance and their acting. Rated R for language, nudity and sexual situations.

Wacky Tacky Museum Finds

I don't think we've mentioned Geppi's Entertainment Museum here on WWoB before but we should have! It's a wonderful attraction located in Baltimore's Inner Harbor right outside of Camden Yards stadium. Inside you'll find the history of our country as traced through popular culture. There's everything from comic books, toys, dolls, books and posters all on display to take you on a tour from the very first newspaper comic strips all the way up to Spongebob and The Simpsons. I did a post about my first visit to the museum on a Disney website called The Blog Wore Tennis Shoes. Last week I took the kids there to see all the Super Hero stuff. But instead of posting pictures of old comic books and valuable antique toys, I snapped a few pictures of some wild and wacky crap that they have on display there...

Before cable TV and videos, one of the only ways kids could revisit movies over and over again was through a Storyreader Record Album. Everyone had a Star Wars or Muppets record when they were younger, but not many kids probably had this recorded dramatization of the classic 1964 science fiction epic Santa Claus Conquers the Martians! This is one of those movies that many people will put on their list of "movies that are soooo bad they're good"!?! Well, I've seen Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and I can tell you that the film is just plain bad. It is so bad that you can't stop looking at it...kind of like a car accident...but by no means is it a good film. This was actually one of the first movies I bought on VHS when I was younger. I had read about the movie in a book and some years later found it around Christmas time at the mall. Ten bucks was a lot of money for a 13 year old in 1986, but it didn't matter to me - I just had to see this movie! Perhaps it's better if you just hear about the film on a record than actually seeing it!

Here's the actual Playbill program for another legendary production, the stage version of the Superman story! It's a Bird It's a Plane It's Superman was a flop of a Broadway musical that opened on March 29, 1966 and closed on July 17, 1966. The whole idea is so ridiculous that, like Santa Claus and his martians, the show has taken on a life of it's own in later years. I always pushed for this to be our spring musical in high school but we always did little known shows like My Fair Lady or Camelot! Another play I've always wanted to do is called Pinocchio Don't Smoke That Cigarette, but that's a story for another time...

Besides the occasional "Weird Al" Yankovic song, novelty records don't get much respect. However, things were different in the earlier days of rock n' roll. Some silly songs became so popular that merchandise was created to cash in on the songs popularity. (A few weeks ago we featured the board game version of Hello Muddah, Hello Fuddah.) In 1958, a gentleman named Sheb Wooley went all the way to the number one spot on the Billboard charts with his ditty titled The Purple People Eater. Here's a cool little plastic hat that you can slip on and become a Purple People Eater yourself! They must have sold plenty of these because the song stayed on the charts for 6 weeks! Can you imagine a month and half of hearing that song on the radio every hour or so!?