122. Rock of Ages

122. (02 Jun) Rock of Ages (2012, Adam Shankman)* 37

It's no wonder movie musicals are practically dead. Adam Shankman takes otherwise fun stage shows, sucks the joy out of them and prevents them from feeling remotely filmic. The casting here is atrocious aside from a fiendishly delightful Catherine Zeta-Jones, who knows just what movie's she's in while everyone else is being much, much too serious. She steals the movie with "Hit Me with Your Best Shot," making it potent and delightful, despite the scene itself being terribly photographed and edited. Tom Cruise and especially Russell Brand and Alec Baldwin come across badly.

TO ROME WITH LOVE

TO ROME WITH LOVE
Written and Directed by Woody Allen
Starring Alec Baldwin, Jesse Eisenberg, Ellen Page, Penelope Cruz and Woody Allen


Jack: What’s so great about suffering?
Monica: There’s just something attractive about a man who is plagued by the perils of existence.

Woody Allen remains true to form with his latest international comedy TO ROME WITH LOVE. And by that I mean that he has followed up a genuine hit with a complete misfire. This is Allen’s pattern after all. On occasion, he gets it just right and many people thought he did just that with last year’s MIDNIGHT IN PARIS. The Oscar winner for Original Screenplay is not my favourite Allen film by any means, but it did certainly enchant with its whimsical look at Paris and people from a cross-generational perspective. His latest hopes to achieve that same success in Rome, but it is such a disconnected collage of familiar Allen talking points that I don’t see the masses swooning this time around. And sadly, if history continues to repeat itself, we will be in store for a few more Allen misses before another hit.

I’m not really sure where to begin with TO ROME WITH LOVE. Alec Baldwin plays an architect vacationing in his former stomping grounds and Jesse Eisenberg is, what I interpret as, a younger version of himself. Baldwin revisits his past by observing Eisenberg (the character Allen himself said he would have liked to play, y’know, if he was fifty years younger) as he waffles between passion (Ellen Page) and stability (Greta Gerwig). Alison Pill referees between her new fiancé, Michelangelo (Flavio Parenti), and her parents (Judy Davis and Allen, making his first film appearance since SCOOP, another real winner), as Allen tries to make Antonio’s father (famed tenor, Fabio Armiliato) into a famous opera singer by staging him in shows where he sings in a shower. Meanwhile, Penelope Cruz plays a prostitute who is mistaken for the new wife of a young businessman (Alessandro Tiberi). They parade around the city with his family while his actual wife (Alessandra Mastronardi) remains perpetually lost in Rome. And then, as if the rest of it wasn’t absurd enough, Roberto Benigni plays a nobody who suddenly and inexplicably becomes an overnight sensation, his every move, from breakfast to bedtime, becomes public fascination. As individual parts, they are more or less amusing and occasionally very witty, but as a whole, they never cohesively come together to mean anything substantial.

TO ROME WITH LOVE was originally called, “Nero Fiddled”. The name change itself exposes what I believe to be the only major selling point about this movie. Clearly, the hope was that those who fell in love with Allen in Paris would do the same in Rome, which is, of course, just as picturesque. The reality is that there will certainly be more interest in this film as a result, but once those patrons get there, I doubt very much they will feel the warmth and charm they are expecting. Before long, everyone who celebrated Allen last year after years of denouncing him as over, will probably find themselves wondering if his late in life romp through Paris, was just a fluke.

Rock of Ages

Here's a movie for you if, and only if, you are a 80s child or maybe if you are a die-hard rock fan. Based on the musical of the same name, this film adaptation casts Tom Cruise as Stacee Jaxx, a rock legend whose similarities with Guns 'N' Roses front-man Axl Rose are a bit uncanny. A story about a small town girl arriving in Hollywood and falling in love with a city boy, almost instantly, remains the weakest point of the film. Granted Julianne Hough playing Sherrie and Diego Boneta as the city boy Drew are both vocally talented, but their on-screen chemistry leave a lot to be desired. Amidst a number of rock ballads and a few rock songs, the cast go about falling in love, rediscovering themselves, and saving the "last" rock institution left on the sunset strip, The Bourbon Room, owned by Dennis Dupree (Alec Baldwin) and his right-hand man Lonny (Russell Brand).

It's probably the versatility of Tom Cruise that takes the audience by surprise and also manages to be the saving grace of the film. His vocal talents and screen presence is simply outstanding and in stark contrast of the roles that he normally performs. While most of the other characters are grossly underdeveloped, it seems that only Tom Cruise and Paul Giamatti as Stacee Jaxx's manager Paul Gill are the two actors really enjoying their roles.

Rock of Ages is a great excuse to get together with your high school chums, but unfortunately due to the whole lovey-dovey storyline it ends up choosing songs that have been done to death in film earlier or even covered by the cast of Glee. I was glad to hear Tom Cruise take on Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me" as his opening number for it remains one of the most underrated rock songs from the time.

The remaining cast of Catharina Zeta-Jones as the Mayor's wife out to shut down The Bourbon Room, Malin Ackerman as the Rolling Stones reporter interviewing Stacee Jaxx, Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand go about with roles that have very little meat to them. While Lonny would have been a character that was right up Russell's alley, it seems he holds back owing to the fact that the film was rated 12A so it could appeal to a wider audience. Alec Baldwin and Catharina Zeta-Jones bring nothing new to their characters portraying toned down versions of acts they have done before in films or TV series.

Rock of Ages has its comic moments, but isn't laugh-out-loud funny. It has foot tapping rock music, but not songs that would want you to stand up and sing and dance in the aisles. It has performances that shine, while others that just don't leave any impact. In the end it remains a walk down memory lane, one that starts with Guns 'N' Roses' Paradise City, and should have in all honestly ended with Sweet Child O' Mine, but alas that is not the case.

Rating - 3/5      

          

Emmy Predictions - Comedy Series

I'm saving the best for last.  I actually watch most of these shows on a regular basis, and the others I've seen a few episodes here and there.  That, combined with "what's out there," is what I'm using to predict these races.  Also, I won't be predicting any of the directing, writing, or movie/miniseries categories.  See my Drama predictions here.

The real nominations come out on July 14th.  So, here we go!  All my predictions can be seen over on GoldDerby.com, where you can conveniently make your own.


BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR - COMEDY SERIES

• 1

  Chris Colfer  -Glee

• 2

  Ty Burrell  -Modern Family

• 3

  Jesse Tyler Ferguson  -Modern Family

• 4

  Eric Stonestreet  -Modern Family

• 5

  Neil Patrick Harris  -How I Met Your Mother

• 6

  Nick Offerman  -Parks and Recreation

(Confession: this is my favorite category, if only for my Modern Family men, and that it's so fun and hard to predict.  So many theories abound!  Are they tired of NPH yet?  Will 2, 3, 1, or all 4 Modern Family men make it in?  What about Cryer; are they jumping ship entirely on Two and a Half Men?  Any chance for a much-loved newbie to make a splash?  Well I think we can all agree that Glee's stalwart standout Colfer is going to be nominated, and probably win this race.  As far as the Modern Family men go, I'm very confident in saying Burrell and Ferguson are safe; both have the industry support and the episodes, and specifically are standout comedy performances on their shows.  I'm wary of predicting Stonestreet again, since I'm conflicted over O'Neill presence in this race.  However, I'm sure Harris will be back for another fruitless nomination for How I Met Your Mother.  And with new blood and new love for I'm predicting for Parks and Recreation, I think Offerman is going to squeak in.  And between Stonestreet's obvious comedy and O'Neill's dry, I think they'll be forced to snub the veteran and nominate Fitzbo.)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS - COMEDY SERIES

• 1

  Jane Lynch  -Glee

• 2

  Sofia Vergara  -Modern Family

• 3

  Julie Bowen  -Modern Family

• 4

  Jane Krakowski  -30 Rock

• 5

  Betty White  -Hot in Cleveland

• 6

  Kristen Wiig  -Saturday Night Live

(Knowing that Betty White is all but a lock for a nomination is almost enough for me to stop caring about this race.  But she's assured a nod, if not a win.  Emmy host and last year's victor, Lynch, is very likely to return not only to the show but to the winner's circle.  Two people who threaten Lynch's crown is the duo of Modern Family ladies, Vergara and Bowen, either of whom could win too.  Krakowski has manages to make it in this race recently, and I don't see cause for not predicting her.  Finally, though something is telling me to go with Amy Ryan in The Office, I'm predicting for a Bridesmaids bump and the third consecutive nomination for SNL's Wiig.)

BEST ACTOR - COMEDY SERIES

• 1

  Steve Carell  -The Office

• 2

  Alec Baldwin  -30 Rock

• 3

  Jim Parsons  -The Big Bang Theory

• 4

  Joel McHale  -Community

• 5

  Rob Lowe  -Parks and Recreation

• 6

  Danny McBride  -Eastbound & Down

(This race is uncharacteristically wide open, in terms of the nominations that is.  I think everyone knows who the winner is favored to be, if his name isn't already engraved on the trophy.  Anyway, five-time nominee Carell should be nominated for his final season on one of TV's most popular shows.  Past winners Baldwin and Parsons should be invited back, and with threats to win.  The last three spots are really a mystery, given there's no Monk or Larry David to take up spots.  Community had a strong season this year, and many were surprised when McHale was snubbed last year, so I expect him to safely make it in this round.  Emmy races are often about star power (see: Best Actress Comedy Series), and fewer stars on TV comedies are more famous than Rob Lowe, who, however, has had quite a tepid relationship with Emmy.  Alas, his questionable category placement may ultimately harm his chances, but I think his name, acting, and popularity of the show will be enough to push him in.  Finally, the voting is done with #1 popular rankings, which allow little-watched but heavily-loved show to make it in; McBride is such an actor on such a show.  If not him, then I'm thinking Louis CK for Louis.  A shame for Ed O'Neill, who could have easily made it in this weak race.)

BEST ACTRESS- COMEDY SERIES

• 1

  Laura Linney  -The Big C

• 2

  Edie Falco  -Nurse Jackie

• 3

  Amy Poehler  -Parks and Recreation

• 4

  Tina Fey  -30 Rock

• 5

  Lea Michele  -Glee

• 6

  Courteney Cox  -Cougar Town

(Linney, the presumed winner, is expected to make it in, the third in Showtime's Women in Dramatic Comedies series.  Last year's winner, Falco, I expect to return, as with last year's nominees Fey, Michele, and Peohler.  The 6th nominee from last year, Aussie Toni Collette I'm predicting to get the snub, in favor of Friends alum Cox.  Out of the Linney, Falco, Fey, and Peohler, I think we'll have a winner.  I won't say who I'm putting my money on, but I am saying that it's not Linney, who actually has never lost an Emmy race.)

BEST COMEDY SERIES

• 1

  Modern Family

• 2

  30 Rock

• 3

  The Office

• 4

  Glee

• 5

  Parks and Recreation

• 6

  The Big Bang Theory

(I think last year's winner easily repeats this year, but we're not talking winners just yet.  Modern Family, 30 Rock, and The Office are safe bets for traditional comedies, and everyone's favorite non-comedy Glee is sure to return as well.  I'm getting a feeling neither of Showtime's comedy submissions are getting in this year, and a surprising network comedy coup will take place.  You parents' favorite comedy show, The Big Band Theory, I think makes it in on popularity, unlike last year.  Finally, I'm one of the few fans of Parks and Recreation that thinks it has a real chance to make a presence at the Emmys; the show is in the zeitgeist, Ron Swanson is everywhere online, Rob Lowe was a hit, and EW named it the smartest show on TV.  I think it's the best comedy on television, and I don't see a reason why, if anyone watches a single episode of it, it won't get in.)