BATMAN: THE SERIES (1966-1968), BATMAN (1989), THE DARK KNIGHT (2008)

Batman: The Series (1966-1968), Batman (1989), The Dark Knight (2008)

Joker…Joker… Joker

It’s interesting that the only two Superhero movies on any of the 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die lists are both Batman movies. And it is no accident that both of the Batman movies listed have the same supervillain: The Joker.

I grew up watching the campy but endearing Batman television series. One of its many pleasures was the villain of the week. We had the waddling Penguin, The constantly giggling Riddler, the sexy Catwoman and many, many other guest bad guys or gals visit Gotham City during the three year run of the show. But I’ve got to admit, that despite the infectious laugh of the Riddler, that weird quacking noise the Penguin made and the obvious charms of Julie Newmar in the Catwoman outfit, the one that stood out the most was The Joker.

Cesar Romero was kind of a second tier Latin lover leading man during the 1930’s and 1940’s, but I really only think of him as The Joker. Bright green hair, white face makeup painted right over Romero’s moustache and that purple suit were The Joker’s signatures and this pretty much cemented into my head how The Joker was supposed to be. The way Romero drew out his words, “Yeeees, Batman,” the way he clapped his gloved hands together in rapid succession and of course that laugh, (Hoo hoo hoo hoo)were all signatures. I also liked the scenes when the Joker traded fisticuffs with the caped crusader and a stuntman for Romero in a Joker’s getup would get really get it! Biff! Kapow! Splaat!

The impression of the television show (as well as the comic books) was pretty strong and I really didn’t think anyone could make a successful Batman movie that wasn’t camp. Then Tim Burton brought his Batman to the screen in 1989. I don’t have any direct proof of this statement, but my guess is that it was the most hyped movie ever up until that time. At least it seemed that way. When it was announced that the Joker was going to be the villain, there was clearly only one choice for the role: Jack Nicholson.

Some have said about Burton’s Batman, that it should actually have been called The Joker and it is really just as much about him as Batman.

In this Batman, Jack Napier is a criminal long before he becomes The Joker. We find out later that Jack was the one that killed Bruce Wayne’s parents("Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight"). It is during an altercation with Batman that Jack falls into acid, which disfigures him and turns him into The Joker. Nicholson’s Joker is hammy, but scary. He’s full of one-liners, (“Where does he get those wonderful toys?” “Those are my balloons. He stole my balloons! Why didn't anyone tell me he had one of those... things?") He even compares their respective origins with Batman during their final scene ("Give me a break! I was a kid when I killed your parents. When I say 'I made you' you gotta say 'you made me.' How childish can you get?"). IDespite the oddity of seeing Nicholson prance around to Prince songs, Nicholson’s Joker works, and Batman's initial return to the screen was a success. Subsequent films were popular, but as the Batmen kept changing (Michael Keaton to Val Kilmer to George Clooney) and the villains became a little less compelling (Arnold Schwarenaggers’ endless cold related puns from Batman and Robin), the series eventually died.

Christopher Nolan brought the series back in 2005 with the film Batman Begins, based on The Dark Knight graphic novels by Frank Miller. Nolan’s films are bleaker than the Burton inspired series and are about as far away from the original Batman television show as you can get. But it’s the second film, The Dark Knight that is included on the 1001 list. What sets it apart from Batman Begins? The obvious answer is that villain of villains: The Joker. But unlike the casting of Jack Nicholson in the previous series, the casting of Heath Ledger seemed a bit odd. You mean one of the gay cowboys from Brokeback Mountain as The Joker? Obviously, Nolan or whoever cast Ledger in the part knew what they were doing. In the Burton Batman, you might really like what Nicholson does with The Joker, but you never forget that it’s Nicholson’s Joker. In The Dark Knight, I don’t think of it being Ledger’s Joker, that’s just the freaking Joker! Unlike Nicholson’s Joker, The Dark Knight’s Joker has no past, no origin story, no traditional criminal motivation and no previous connection with Batman/Bruce Wayne. He is a terrorist, pure and simple whose modus operandi is identified by Alfred the butler in that some people just want to see the world burn. That is what makes this the scariest Joker of all.

A. I. ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE (2001)

Color Me Kubrick Month Post #10

Uncolor Me Kubrick: A. I. Artificial Intelligence

One of the most frustrating things about looking at the film career of Stanley Kubrick, is that he was such a perfectionist that he made so few films. The Shining came out in 1980 and it was seven years before Full Metal Jacket was released. Then it was twelve years before his final film, Eyes Wide Shut came out. And then the final credits rolled. Where was that great biopic of Napoleon that he researched? Jack Nicholson in Stanley Kubrick’s Napoleon? What about Kubrick’s holocaust movie? What about Artificial Intelligence?

Well, Artificial Intelligence was made, but not by Kubrick, of course. Steven Spielberg tried to make it in the style that Kubrick would have wanted, but it really feels much more like a Steven Speilberg picture more than a Stanley Kubrick picture. The brand of sentimentality of the robot boy searching for the elusive blue fairy is definitely more Speilberg than Kubrick. The high spectacle of the flesh fair scene where the robots are exploited for sport (and my favorite scene in the film) is also definitely more Spielberg than Kubrick. The film does leave a lot of unanswered questions. That's like Kubrick. Like why does the robot child and Gigolo Joe have to go to the flooded out Man-hattan to find the Professor. I know it looks visually spectacular but where the heck is that to have a place of business? Of course, I can't really explain the end of 2001 (which is sort of the point, I think) so I guess it is like Kubrick in some ways.

ALIENS (1986) vs. AVATAR (2009)

(Monster Chiller Horror Month films 11 & 12 of 14)

Aliens vs. Avatar

SIGOURNEY WEAVER: Good evening. I’m Sigourney Weaver and this week’s battle on James Cameron Movie Elimination Showdown features to my left the Alien or should I say one of the aliens from the movie Aliens and to my right is one of the Na’Vi, Na-vee, uh, I’ll just call you Avatar to simplify things if you don’t mind. Now Mr. Alien. And I admit I didn’t know you could even talk. But go ahead and state your case.

ALIEN: Well nobody ever gave me much of a chance to talk in the movies. Always trying to kill me and the like.

SIGOURNEY WEAVER: Well, you were trying to kill me, too!

ALIEN: I wasn't trying to kill you really. You were just so distracting in your underwear, can I really be held accountable for my actions?

SIGOURNEY WEAVER: (blushing) Flatterer.

AVATAR: I thought you were supposed to be a female?

ALIEN: It's called acting, you blue bozo!

SIGOURNEY WEAVER: Anyway. State your case. Why is Aliens better than Avatar?

ALIEN: Well, we made…you and I and Cameron and a whole lot of people made and defined what a modern day action picture should be. Being a sequel actually helped us. We had the bonus of a setup before the action starts and never lets up.

AVATAR: Yes, but you do that at the expense of characters. Pretty one dimensional in my opinion.

ALIEN: Look who’s talking, Mr. "We stole our plot idea from Ferngully." And what about all that corny dialogue like (speaking formally) “You are now a son of the Omaticaya, Jakescully. You are the colors of the wind and rainbow and one with nature. a network of energy that flows through all living things, your spirit goes with Eywa.” Come on! It's Dances With Wolves on acid!

AVATAR: You’re one to talk. Why does Bill Paxton have to talk like an 80’s surfer dude in your movie? Isn’t it supposed to be set in the future?

SIGOURNEY WEAVER: OK, Avatar. Why are you better?

AVATAR: Well. Only the most amazing special effects ever. Only the biggest box office hit of all time. It’s like a beautiful dream…only it’s real.

ALIEN: With stock characters you stole from Aliens. The Latino chick that kicks ass. The weasly little dweeb who is only after a buck. Recycled characterizations, blue boy!

AVATAR: Cameron refined these characters in Avatar…took away the flaws in their characterizations and made them more interesting, like the way we updated your prehistoric special effects.

SIGOURNEY WEAVER: Well, you got to admit when it comes to characterization, we are dealing with James Cameron and not Paddy Chayevsky.

(Alien and Avatar both laugh)

AVATAR: And we have, of course, the lovely Ms. Weaver in our picture as well. (Turning to Sigourney) If I hadn’t already chosen a mate, I would definitely consider you even if you are one of the skypeople.

SIGOURNEY WEAVER: Why you’re a flatterer too, but alas, I’m afraid its too late. The votes are in and the winner is….Aliens.

(Avatar raises his hands and curses in Na’Vi)

SIGOURNEY WEAVER: I’m sorry Avatar, but you’re terminated fucker!

(SIGOURNEY WEAVER pulls a lever and a trap door opens and the Avatar disappears.)


SIGOURNEY WEAVER: Turning to the Alien. I always wanted to say that.

ALIEN: I thought your line was “Get away from her, you bitch.”

SIGOURNEY WEAVER: I’m the host of this show and I’ll use whichever damn James Cameron catchphrase I want! Do you understand?

(The Alien spreads his hands in mock surrender)

SIGOURNEY WEAVER: And speaking of The Terminator. Next week on James Cameron Movie Elimination Showdown, we have the Terminator T-800 facing off against Rose from Titanic. Ought to be quite a match up.

Good night for now and until next week…we’ll be back.

(The Alien and Sigourney Weaver wave goodbye to the audience as the screen fades to black.)

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (2009, SWEDEN)

(Monster Chiller Horror Month film 5 of 14)

Let the Right One In

Previous viewings: None

This is my first viewing of a film dealing with teenage (preteen?) Swedish vampires. The relationship between a bullied boy and his befriending of a girl who is really a creature of the night does have its moments. I think the best moment in the film is the final scene in the swimming pool where certain characters get their comeuppance.

Would you recommend? I recommend no teenage vampire movies, unless they are Swedish. So since this is Swedish, it's a go.

THE WHITE RIBBON (2009, GERMANY)

Catching up on some recent 1001 listings
(Film 11 of 12)

What can one say about a dark, black and white German drama that raises many questions, but answers few and is very well done but is also at times very frustrating?

How about: The White Ribbon is a dark, black and white German drama that raises many questions, but answers few and is very well done but is also at times very frustrating.

IN THE LOOP (2009), OF GODS AND MEN (2010, FRANCE)

Catching up on some recent 1001 listings
(Films 9 & 10 of 12)

In the Loop (2009) & Of Gods and Men (2010)-It’s interesting when you go down the 1001 Movie list how you really have to shift gears as you jump from film to film. I didn’t know a lot about either of these films before viewing and they almost couldn’t have been more different from one another in tone and pacing. In the Loop is an extremely fast paced story of the British and American government officials preparing for a war. But it’s a comedy! And a pretty funny one, too. West Wing on steroids with more than a hint of Monty Python thrown in. I watched it twice just to try to catch some of the dialogue that I missed.

I then watched Of Gods and Men, a story about a group of Christian monks in Algeria and their attempts to cope with the realities and dangers of life outside their monastery. Compared to In The Loop, this film seems so slow! That’s not necessarily a bad thing, you can’t rush the scenes with monks praying, after all. Of Gods and Men just paints it canvas with a more subtle brush. A much subtler brush. One thing both of these films do have in common is that they seem stronger with repeated viewings. At least a second viewing, anyway. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get emotionally prepared for my 1001 movies double feature viewing of Pink Flamingos
and The Sound of Music.

THERE WILL BE BLOOD (2007)

Catching up on some recent 1001 listings
(Film 8 of 12)
There Will Be Blood

"I drink your milkshake!”

The story of an obsessed and totally unlikable oil man in the early part of the 20th century would have been my choice over No Country for Old Men as the Best Picture of 2007.

BABEL (2006)

Catching up on some recent 1001 listings
(Film 7 of 12)

Babel-One of those multi-layered/intersecting story movies, which I must admit that I usually like. And I like this film too, though not us much Magnolia or Short Cuts.

In Babel, we have an American couple in distress in Morocco, their children’s nanny in distress in Mexico, a deaf Japanese teenager going through growing pains in Japan and a poor family in crisis in Morocco. Oh, what’s life without a little conflict?

FISH TANK (2009)

Catching up on some recent 1001 listings
(Film 6 of 12)

Fish Tank-I found the second half of this movie more satisfying than the first half as it took me quite awhile to warm up to the rather unpleasant characters in this film, but I eventually got there.

BORAT (2006)

Catching up on some recent 1001 listings
(Film 4 of 12)

Borat-Yes, it’s often funny, but after awhile I started feeling sorry for the people that Borat was ridiculing (With the exception of Pamela Anderson, of course.)

THE HURT LOCKER (2008)

Catching up on some recent 1001 listings
(Film 3 of 12)

The Hurt Locker-2008 Best Picture winner about a team of American soldiers that disable bombs in Iraq. It took me awhile to get into it, but the film gains steam the more it looks into the head of the teams adreneline junkie leader.

AN EDUCATION (2009)

Catching up on some recent 1001 listings
(Film 2 of 12)

An Education-BBC film about a young girl who becomes smitten with a worldly older man. It’s better than the description I just gave it with especially good scenes with the girl (Cary Mulligan) and her dad (Alfred Molina). My favorite part of the whole movie was the clever opening credits. I'm stil not quite sure this would make my book, but it is worth a viewing.

THE ROAD TO PERDITION (2002)

Chicago/Prohibition week (7 of 7)

Day 7 The Road to Perdition (2002)

Since I could only find six 1001 movie entries that fit this week’s category, I had to fudge the last one with an off-book film. I’m not sure why I’d never seen The Road to Perdition before. It’s in a genre I like, was well received and certainly the teaming of Paul Newman and Tom Hanks is noteworthy. It’s good to be off-book on occasion, though I think it would make my hypothetical book.

Random thought: When hitman Jude Law starts fondling a coin, I stood up and shouted, “It’s an homage to the coin flipping hood in Scarface played by George Raft!” I stopped the film to explain this to my wife, who patiently nodded with understanding and patience and asked me to restart the movie.

“There’s on thing Chicago loves more than anything and that’s their money".

"In Chicago, just a few minutes after prohibition went into effect, six masked bandits with pistols emptied two freight cars full of whiskey, another gang stole four cases of grain alcohol from a government bonded warehouse and still another hijacked a truck loaded with bourbon. Making prohibition the law of the land was one thing, enforcing it would be another. The devil would turn out to be in the details.”- –from the Ken Burns’s documentary Prohibition

CHICAGO (2003)

Chicago/Prohibition week (6 of 7)


Day 6 Chicago (2003)

One of the many films where I think the William Goldman adage of “Nobody knows anything” comes into play. Can you imagine the pitch for this film? “Okay, it’s a musical, I know musicals aren’t that popular now, but hang with me. It’s Chicago. It's been around for decades, you know. The Bob Fosse musical! I know Fosse’s dead, and he could never get this made into a film, but I’ve got another director. He’s never done any musicals, but I think he can handle it. And for the leads? I got three stars. Now they aren’t know for musicals, but I’m sure they’ll be great. Have you ever seen Richard Gere dance? And hey, we got a big solo number form John C. Reilly! This is going to be a hit, you know. Make well over $100 million domestic and I truly think it’s going to win an Oscar for Best Picture. I know they don’t give musicals Oscars anymore, but I’ll think they’ll make an exception in this case. So what do you think?”

"This is Chicago, kid. You can’t beat fresh blood on the walls"

SURFWISE (2007), THE ENDLESS SUMMER (1966)

I honestly didn’t know what to expect when I plucked the documentary Surfwise from the 1001 Movie list* for my next film to view. In fact, I didn’t even know it was a documentary until I began watching it. So much for background research.

The film is about Doc Paskowitz, a doctor turned bohemian, who lived out of a camper during the 60’s and 70’s with his wife and nine children (eight of which were boys). The children didn’t attend school, instead traveling around the country (and beyond) with their parents learning about surfing, life and how to live comfortably in a twenty-four foot camper with a double digit number of people.

A retrospective of Doc and his family fill the first half of this film. The second half has more on what his children are doing now, how their upbringing affected them and gives the audience space to make judgments on Doc and his lifestyle choice.

Director Doug Pray really puts this documentary together well. I seem to remember some news stories about the Paskowitz family years ago and they were billed as the first family of surfing (I’m not sure how much competition they had for this title). And because of the ages of the children at the time the documentary were made (The children were mostly in their 30’s and 40’s at the time the documentary was filmed in the mid 2000’s.) we can really gain some perspective on how their unusual upbringing effected their lives. No matter how you feel about “Doc” (and opinions can certainly differ) this is a fascinating journey and the film is well deserving of its place in one of the updated editions of 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die**.
______________________________________________________________________

Another surfing documentary that didn’t make the 1001 cut is The Endless Summer. I remember first seeing this on television during the 70’s and have watched parts of it a couple of times since. I always thought you could boil the plot down to a couple of guys travel around the world looking for the perfect wave. But it’s a bit more than that. It’s very…what’s the word? Zen. Yes, it’s a very Zen movie. Mike Hynson and Robert August are two surfers in their early twenties who attempt to travel the world over a series of months following the summer as they go. They are accompanied by filmmaker/wisecracking narrator Bruce Brown. The boys spend a lot of time in Africa. Their encounters with the friendly natives of Ghana, who have never seen a surfboard before, are one of the highlights of the film. Another obvious highlight is when they walk through a South African desert to find (drum roll please) the perfect wave. Waves so long and perfect you would think they were out of a machine. Waves that you can ride so long that Bruce Brown actually runs out of film before he can show you an entire ride. Waves that might actually make me consider picking up a surfboard...well, not quite.

On the lighter side, we see the boys complaining about the prices of things in the world ($1 dollar coffee, $1 dollar a gallon gasoline, and a luxurious suite that is a whopping $30 a night. Hey, this is 1966! What a rip-off!). We also see some other surfers of the day shooting the curl or hanging ten and the whole thing is in good fun.

Not to get too deep here, but when you enter The Endless Summer you allow yourself to forever keep searching for the perfect wave and if you keep going around the world, you may even stay forever young.


And the winner is…Surfwise. Because I really like the way Doug Pray weaved his narrative together and turned it into a most fascinating story.
______________________________________________________________________

*This film is listed in a supplementary 1001 Movie list I saw on the internet, but haven’t been able to find it in an actual edition of the book. Go figure.

**Nope, still can’t find it in any book.

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING (1993), AS YOU LIKE IT (2006)

Classics Revisited Book Group (Posting 13)

Much Ado About Nothing & As You Like It directed by Kenneth Branagh
or
Much Ado About Nothing and As You Like It by William Shakespeare

I have a friend that says I have a “man crush” on actor, director and modern Shakespeare popularizer Kenneth Branagh. I certainly wouldn’t put it that way, but I am a fan of his creative and accessible adaptations. Much Ado About Nothing (1993) is certainly an entertaining film and I don’t see many others trying to do what Branagh does with Shakespeare. The cast of Much Ado is very high profile and features Branagh, Denzel Washington, Emma Thompson, and Michael Keaton, who is quite funny as Dogberry. I even give Keanau Reeves points for trying as the evil Don John. Also in the cast are Branagh regulars Brian Blessed and Richard Briers.

Branagh’s As You Like It from 2007 was not as critically applauded as the Much Ado About Nothing, but I find the transfer of the story to feudal Japan successful and confess to liking this one as well. It also has interesting supporting performances from Alfred Molina, Kevin Kline, Richard Briers and Brian Blessed.

Movies or Play? I think it would be okay to just see the adaptations on this one, but I would never try to discourage the reading of the plays as well. But I don’t have a man crush on Kenneth Branagh! But see Dead Again, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets if you get the chance anyway. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

RUSSIAN ARK (2002, RUSSIA)

Classics Revisited Book Group (Posting 6)

Russian Ark directed by Alexander Sokurov
or
Eugene Onegin by Alexander Pushkin

I am sure that if I grew up in Russia I would have read Pushkin’s epic poem and perhaps learned much of its verses by heart. But I didn’t and I had a lot of trouble just getting through the English translation by Charles Johnston. I did watch a film version of Eugene Onegin with Ralph Fiennes (not on the 1001 movie list) that I found more palatable than the original source.

I also viewed a most unusual film called Russian Ark (on the 1001 list in some editions) in which the entire movie is filmed in one take, while moving through the Hermitage art museum in St. Petersberg. It attempts to tie recent Russian history together along the way, including a cameo by Alexander Pushkin himself. The one take narrative is more than a stunt, it makes the movie quite captivating, though it should come with a warning label to young filmmakers to not try this at home.

Russian Ark or Eugene Onegin?

Defintely a vote for the movie. If seeing Russian Ark makes you fall in love with Russian history, then pick up a copy of Eugene Onegin and have a ball, though I doubt if I’ll be joining you anytime soon.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY (2007)

Horror week Day 5

Paranormal Activity (2007)

Seeing a film done completely with a handheld camera or on a tripod can give the viewer an intense point of view. I think this was used to great advantage in The Blair Witch Project and if the innovative monster movie Cloverfield hadn’t used the device, that film would have basically been Godzilla.

Paranormal Activity uses a similar device. The whole film is whatever we see from the camera of a man who is trying to record the increasing amount of supernatural activity running rampant around his girlfriend. It’s an interesting film, suspenseful and all that. It has some nice odes to The Exorcist and other horror films. I wouldn’t put it on a list of indispensable films as the latest update of the 1001 book has done, but it’s a pretty good addition to the horror genre. I won’t quibble too much about its inclusion.

The Day (Night) After Effect: I’m willing to give this film bonus points since I got up in the middle of the night after watching it and could have sworn some lights came on that I was sure I hadn’t turned on. Okay, the night after effect makes me give this film a more solid thumbs up and inclusion in my book. Would you ghosts please leave me in peace now?

Tomorrow: Horror films never seem to get Academy Awards. Well, there was at least one exception and I’ll view that for tomorrow with Fava beans and a nice chianti, though I've never really cared that much for liver.

THE HANGOVER (2009), DISTRICT 9 (2009), INCEPTION (2010)

Grandfather’s Journey

Part 1

My full name is Rebecca Francis Crabb. In three days I'll be celebrating my twenty-first birthday, though that’s not important because I don’t want to tell you about me. I want to tell you about the most remarkable man I have ever met. That would be my Grandfather, Franklin Crabb.

Grandfather, he’s technically my Great-Great grandfather, was born in 1902, an impoverished son of immigrants. I could tell you how he studied hard in school and became an “A’ student and excelled in athletics. He played in the 1924 Rose Bowl you know-starting left corner. I could tell you how he graduated first in his class. How he met the woman of his dreams in 1925 and stayed with her for seventy-five years until her death at ninety-seven in the year 2000. I could tell you how he became one of the most successful businessmen of his time. Rubber. I believe that was his first business success. It certainly was what put him on the map. I’m sure you’ve heard of Crabb Tires. Feel free to look up the history. He’s where the company got the name.

But Grandfather’s business success didn’t stop there. He knew that every house in America was going to want a television even before he owned one. That’s where he made his real fortune. In televisions, I mean. Now, I don’t want you to have the impression that Grandfather was a cold, heartless business tycoon. Nothing could actually be further from the truth. He gave to charities freely and always championed the underdog. He supported unions, worker’s rights, civil rights and women’s rights.

He was often encouraged to run for political office, but the political arena was the one venture he never entered into directly. However, I’m sure most of you have heard of Miriam Crabb. Grandfather’s wife was the only female Senator in the republic during the 1950’s. If you ever heard the rumor that Ms. Miriam was a potential presidential candidate in 1960, those rumors were true. But the men in those secluded smoke-filled rooms didn’t think it was time for a woman president and they eventually went with Kennedy instead. Miriam turned down a cabinet post after Kennedy’s election and continued in Congress for another eight years. Grandfather accepted an ambassadorship to Norway in 1961. A consolation prize for the Crabb family, I guess. I’m rambling, aren’t I?

I want to tell you a little about grandfather’s family. Seven kids. Twenty-eight grandkids. And I’ve lost track of the number of the great-grandkids. I’m one of them, of course. And I don’t think I’m talking out of school when I tell you that I’ve been his favorite over the last few years. He may be bedridden, but let me assure you, his mind hasn’t lost a thing. You would think a man of a hundred and eight years would lose something, but I don’t see it. He’s taught me so much about life, love, business, and politics. Oh, dear. I almost forgot why I started writing this. I really do carry on sometimes.

You see, Grandfather was actively involved in the movie industry in the 1930’s and 1940’s. He’s always been quite the cinema junkie. I must say he’s turned me into quite a film buff. I know the difference between Kurosawa and Ozu or Fellini and Visconti or Truffaut and Chabrol. Just try me. Anyway, a couple of years back, I came across the book 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die and brought it to him.

He said that he really liked the book, but didn’t think that at his age he would have time to go through them all. I told him sternly that he better make the time. He never has been able to deny me anything, so we began watching. And watching. We discussed every film in the book, or so it seemed. It took us four years to get through them all, but we did it. After we saw the last film on the list, he looked at me sadly and said that he thought by tomorrow it would be time for him to go and would I please gather the rest of the family together to say goodbye.

Part 2

Today’s the day grandfather wanted to tell everyone goodbye, but I have some news for him and don’t think he’s not going to like it. No, it’s not anything about his condition. He knows it’s his time and he’s ready. But what I’m holding in my hand may change all that. I have mixed emotions about it to tell you the truth. If I were being filmed, I’d tilt what I’m holding up to the camera and show it to you. It’s the latest edition of 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die. I know he hasn’t seen most of the new films listed yet. I’ve never lied to him about anything before, and I’m not going to start now.

After I entered his hospital room, I couldn’t help notice his eyes light up as they always did when I came around. If that sounds conceited on my part I apologize, but it’s the truth.

“Hello, my darling. I know all this may be hard on you, but it is about that time,” Grandfather said.

“Grandfather,” I interrupted him. “I think there’s something I need you to see.”

I showed him the cover of the 1001 movie book with The Black Swan on the cover.

He moaned as he leaned his head back on his pillow as far as it would go.

“How many?” he asked unable to open his eyes.

“Only about seven or eight new ones. Don’t feel the need to have to watch-“

“No, no!” It was his turn to interrupt me now. “We have to finish what we started. But I think we need to get right to it. I suppose they can keep the life support running for another day.”

It was good to hear him making a joke, though he barely had enough strength remaining to even crack a smile at his quip.

I plopped my laptop onto his bed

“All the ones from the new list are already on here and ready to go,” I said.

He winked at me and said he should have known his princess would come prepared.

“We better get to it,” he continued. “The grim reaper is waiting is on stand-by.”

The first movie we watched was Inception.

“All you have to do with this one is just assume everything is a dream. It seems intellectually dishonest to me,” I said after the end credits rolled.

“Oh, my dear!” Grandfather said. “I found it a most creative endeavor. I have to disagree with you there, princess.”

The next movie we saw was District 9.

“My goodness!” I said. “Hasn’t doing everything with a handheld camera become a cliché at this point?”

“Oh, my dear!” Grandfather was about to rebut me in more detail, but he stopped for a moment before finally just saying, “How I have always loved…science-fiction.”

The last movie on our viewing marathon was The Hangover.

“Is this what film has come to?” I said perhaps more angrily than I intended. “Where we consider a glorified slob comedy as high art? What next? Should we put Porky’s at the top of the next Sight & Sound poll as the best cinematic masterpiece of all-time?” I posed the question hypothetically, of course. I realized I couldn’t bring myself to like anything on this day.

“Oh, my dear!” Grandfather said for the last time. “Never underestimate a good laugh here and there. It’s a precious commodity. It’s one of the few things we can count on in this cockeyed caravan called life. Do you remember the three elements of film? Or what good cinema should strive to do?”

“Of course!” I said. “Cinema should entertain, enlighten or communicate. If it does one you have an okay movie. If you have two, you have a classic. If you have three, you have Citizen Kane. I haven’t forgotten.”

“That’s my girl…that’s my princess,” he said weakly.

We were now officially finished with the entire list and all supplemental lists. Grandfather nodded to me to bring in the rest of the family, which I did. They all said their goodbyes over what seemed like hours, though it was probably just a few minutes in real time.

He gave me the signal and I set up the laptop once again.

“Everyone!” I announced. “Grandfather has requested…” I was having trouble continuing but knew I had to. “Grandfather has requested to see one last movie scene.”

Some of the family looked confused, but I ignored them and thought only of Franklin Crabb’s final wishes. I turned on the scene from The Seventh Seal that I had cued up. In it, the personified character of Death finally catches up to most of the characters in the film. They do not fear him, but greet him cordially and with smiles. They come to the realization that he really isn’t the boogeyman they thought and accept their fate.

After the last frame of the film faded to black, grandfather passed into the night for the last time, but he too shook hands with death with a smile on his face.

ALL THAT HEAVEN ALLOWS (1955), ALI: FEAR EATS THE SOUL (1974, WEST GERMANY), FAR FROM HEAVEN (2002)

The Blogger’s Wife

The 1001 blogger has a pencil dangling from his mouth as he thumbs through two movie books. He starts to edit some notes on the computer in front of him as the frozen image of Julianne Moore stares at him from his Magnavox to his right. He is so focused on what he is doing that he doesn’t hear his wife approach him.

Blogger’s Wife: So, what is it you’re doing now?

1001 Blogger: Oh, I didn’t see you there. I was working on this comparison for my blog. Do you want me to tell you about it?

The Blogger’s wife is unresponsive as he continues.

1001 Blogger: You see the Douglas Sirk films from the 50’s like All That Heaven Allows have apparently been very influential. I always thought that they were just fluff pieces. Guess I'm learning a few things. Continuing education is the key. We can learn through our movies.

Blogger’s Wife: Yes, dear. That’s all well and good, but you’ve been watching these movies for a long time now. Don’t you think you need to take a break from your 101 movies and go cut the grass?

1001 Blogger: (Laughing) First of all, it’s 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die. Oh, you knew the title, didn't you? You were just having sport with me. Anyway, the grass can wait another day because I’ve discovered a link between these films. (Raising his voice and pointing skyward) Triangulation! Triangulation, I say! You see, All That Heaven Allows, the Sirk film influenced both Far From Heaven, the Todd Hanes film and Ali: Fear Eats the Soul, the Fassbinder film. I would have never guessed that Sirk would have influenced Fassbinder!

Bloggers’ Wife: Fats Bender, sounds like a jazz musician. Anyway, as I said that’s all well and good, but I think you need to take a break and decide what kind of new televison we want. Not that I get a chance to look at it much these days, cause there’s usually a sixty-year old French movie playing on it. But I need some help with picking out some of these things. You know for our house!

1001 blogger: (Not seeming to notice her) What? Oh, my theory. Don’t you get it? Three films. Triangulation! Fassbinder took Sirk’s rather mundane dilemma of a woman who was a few years older than her lover and made a woman a lot older than her lover. He also threw in the outsider and racial component. She was German and he was a Moroccon emigrant…or was he a Malinese? I can’t remember, but it’s the same effect. It doesn’t effect the triangulation concept. And then we have the Haynes film, which has the racial relationship component and throws in the homosexual element! Don’t you see? Triangulation! In the original Sirk film, Rock Hudson certainly couldn’t have been gay.

Blogger’s Wife: But Rock Hudson was gay!

1001 Blogger: No. Rock Hudson, the screen component was not at all gay. What he did in his private lie is outside the realm of this evaluation.

Blogger’s Wife: You’re spending to much time on this! We have lives to lead, you know!

1001 Blogger: (Ignoring her comment) Oh, and I haven’t even mentioned the triangulatory link between the three films and televison. Jane Wyman’s jerkwad children give her a television to compensate for the loss of her boyfriend in All That Heaven Allows. In Far From Heaven, Dennis Quaid is a bigshot in a company that manufactures televisions. In Fassbinder’s film, one of the sons of the lady dating the younger man kicks in her television screen when he first hears about the relationship. I’m trying to interpret this link now. Or if there even is a link or if it’s just a coincidental motif…What was I saying?

Blogger’s Wife: Would you listen to yourself! I’m sick of all this! You care more about what you put on that damn TV than you do about me!

The 1001 blogger leans back in his chair and begins to stroke the top of the television as if it were the family pet.

1001 blogger: Well, I didn’t know you felt so strongly about this. Let me ask you this. Have you ever considered seeking psychiatric help? You seem really irrational.

The blogger’s wife turns beet red and goes over to the blogger’s television and kicks in the screen. She pulls her leg out of the shards of glass and straightens herself up before silently leaving the room.

1001 blogger: (staring blankly at the guts of his television) Triangulation!