IDENTITY THIEF

IDENTITY THIEF
Written by Craig Mazin
Directed by Seth Gordon
Starring Jason Bateman, Melissa McCarthy and Amanda Peet

Sandy Patterson: You got hit by a car. Are you even human?
Diana: The trick is to relax your legs. I read it on wikiHow.

IDENTITY THIEF, the latest film from decent documentary filmmaker turned borderline horrible Hollywood filmmaker, Seth Gordon, is certainly true to its name. Not only does it carry on like a comedy of grandeur when it is really just an awkward and implausible mess, but it steals its odd couple premise from a great number of previous, and much funnier, examples, while trying to play out as original and fresh. PLANES, TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES, you are not. Heck, you’re not even DUE DATE. I know that movies aren’t always meant to be realistic but chumming it up with the person who stole your identity and ruined your life is pushing it for me.

After Melissa McCarthy broke out in BRIDESMAIDS, it was imperative for Hollywood to find her a starring vehicle. Pairing her deadpan zaniness opposite the equally deadpanned stoicism of Jason Bateman in a mismatch comedy would seem, and should have been, like a no-brainer. The talent between these two could have, and again, should have, led to greatness but instead, it just made me terribly sad. Watching them waste their talents in this schlock made me very weary of where McCarthy could end up if she lets Hollywood just drag her along, not to mention where Bateman could end up, if he doesn’t start making more inspired script choices. Simply put, they deserved a higher calibre project and, quite frankly, so did we.

It takes about five minutes to realize that IDENTITY THIEF isn’t going to work. Screenwriter, Craig Mazin, pieces his plot together with such lazy simplicity that you can see straight through to the end from the very beginning and you can also see it isn’t going to be a fun ride. McCarthy plays a girl with no identity, no rules and subsequently, no life or friends; while Bateman plays a guy with nothing but rules. Obviously, if these two were to end up in a completely nonsensical scenario, they would learn from each other’s differences and grow as human beings. McCarthy and Bateman work very hard to salvage this forced premise but there’s only so much they can do when they’re working with this little to begin with and there just aren’t enough laughs to make up for how insipid the whole thing is.

THE CHANGE-UP

Written by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore

Directed by David Dobkin

Starring Jason Bateman, Ryan Reynolds, Leslie Mann and Olivia Wilde

Dave Lockwood (in the body of Mitch Planko): Oh my God; I'm a douchebag.

There are certain things you need to just plain accept as fact in order to enjoy THE CHANGE-UP. First of all, you have to accept that the notions of what it means to be a responsible adult in the film will be as cliched and contrived as they can possibly be. Past that, you need to accept that, as this is a comedy for dumb boys and from the minds of dumb boys, there will be plenty of T & A and no fart joke opportunity will be missed. Foremost though, you need to accept that two grown men can urinate into a random fountain, wish they had the other's life and then wake up with their wish come true. To be fair, you don't actually have to accept any of this but if you won't, you should definitely avoid this movie.

Director David Dobkin (WEDDING CRASHERS) introduces us to Dave Lockwood (Jason Bateman) and Mitch Planko (Ryan Reynolds) while they are still sleeping soundly in bed. Dave's blue pyjamas match his blue sheets, which in turn match the duvet and complimentary pillowcases. This is a man who is consumed by order. Mitch, on the other hand, would be lucky to find two socks that go together, let alone two pillowcases. They have been friends their whole lives and are only really friends now because of their history. Like any true family man, Dave works tireless hours at a law firm and rarely gets a chance to spend any time with his family. Mitch smokes pot all day and plays with his swords, both of the steel and metaphorical variety. Having switched lives though, Mitch must learn to see something through in his life while Dave has to learn to chill out. Naturally, they each go to extremes in their new lives before they learn that happiness lies somewhere in the middle. They say the grass is always greener, which is even more true when you piss all over it like these two dolts do.

With characters as vapid as this and a storyline as obvious and played out as body swapping, THE CHANGE-UP needs to have solid talent on screen to raise the material to a place where it is at the very least passable, let alone impressive. And while it never truly reaches great heights, Bateman and Reynolds work their hardest to get it there. Both men have sharp tongues and plenty of charisma to engage the viewer and it is at times a great delight to see them play against the type that each has fallen into in their careers. As great as their performances are though, there is only so much they can do for a film that finds spurting poop smeared all over someone's face within five minutes of its opening.

PAUL

Written by Simon Pegg and Nick Frost

Directed by Greg Mattola

Starring Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Jason Bateman, Kristen Wiig

and Seth Rogen

Graeme Willy (at Comic-Con): I love it here. It feels right.

It has never been cool to be a nerd, but if the nerd community has proven anything in recent years, it is that they are a force to be reckoned with. They will band together when necessary to attend giant conventions where they can spend hundreds of dollars on autographs or they will rally thousands of signatures to ensure that their favorite television programs, no matter how obscure, stay on the air. And as their collective power has increased, the more they find themselves represented in the mainstream media, naturally allowing the masses to love them for their endearing social ineptitude. This newfound love of all things geeky is what makes movies like Greg Mattola’s new alien film, PAUL, possible and, boy oh boy, does it ever geek it up hardcore.

PAUL opens on a lone farm house in a large, empty field. Windmills start to turn frantically as a rocking chair rocks back and forth on a porch front. Before long, flashing lights fill the sky and a dog barks at the moon. This is quintessential aliens from outer space cinema and the kitch-tastic intro tells us right away that we will be both delighting in, and sending up, all that we have come to know about alien invader movies. As an added bonus though, stars and writers, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, (the former previously penned the hilarious SHAUN OF THE DEAD and HOT FUZZ), provide us with a rather touching look at the loneliness and insecurity that might accompany men who have never known anything other than their obsessions and each other. This is certainly no small feat considering their co-star is a little green guy voiced by Seth Rogen. The threesome embark on a road trip through a horribly unforgiving middle-America, in an attempt to get the little guy home – he had phoned in earlier – and run into a number of peculiar characters, from an actual man in black (Jason Bateman) to a religious zealot (Kristin Wiig). Ideas about God, the universe and space genitalia are exchanged en route.

Fortunately, geeky humour works for all – the geeks who get the inside jokes and everybody else who can just laugh at how incredibly geeky everything is. PAUL may be occasionally predictable or transparent but Mattola is sure to infuse this buddy movie with as much heart and sincerity as is possible, given the subject matter. His work may seem extreme at times (SUPERBAD anyone?) but it is also always relatable and genuine. While he has his audience distracted with the enjoyment they derive from immersing themselves in nerd culture, whether that inspires superiority in one viewer or solace for another, he manages to sneak something in that no one would see coming and that is humanity. Who knew that meeting an alien from another planet could make you feel more like you belong on this one?