DEAR LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: PLEASE REMAIN INDOORS! DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE! THERE ARE MONSTERS AT YOUR LOCAL THEATERS AND THEY DON'T LIKE YOU!
Sincerely yours,
The Univarn Crap-Film Releases for non-Big Cities Weekend Awareness Committee.
Wide Releases:
The Warrior's Way: Is apparently one hell of a long path. Filming for this movie was completed two, almost three, years ago and it's just now getting a release. Now don't go and mistake it for something like Avatar that's intended to push graphic capabilities to the extreme. This film just couldn't get love from anybody for a release. The commercial did make it look like a visually impressive tale, but the moment any of the actors opened their mouths I could feel a void materializing in the room. Of course that doesn't stop Geoffrey Rush and Danny Huston from showing up and completing destroying my mind's capability to process this one.
Oh, and yeah, it's the only full on wide release this weekend. So I raise a glass, a coma for the weekend so that Tron Legacy may come swiftly.
Limited Releases:
Black Swan: Natalie! You're breaking my heart. Why aren't you bringing your film to NC this weekend? I wanted to show you and Aronofsky how much I love you. I had a special shirt made just for the occasion. You see, it says "Mathilda 4 life!" on the back it has a picture of a bunch of grenade pins. Don't you understand how much I care? *cries* It's just not fair.
All Good Things: End violently and get turned into a movie? How about I say no thanks? I will give props to Ryan Gosling who has done everything short of parting a sea to shed his Notebook image, but this just looks awful. Kirsten Dunst is kicking the 'oh yeah, her' persona into overdrive, but it looks like she has a lot of films lined up for 2011. Hoping for her sake at least one ends up a winner.
I Love You Phillip Morris: Jim Carrey & Ewan McGregor and Annette Bening & Julianne Moore both in one year? HELL YEAH! Alright I'm thinking, MTV Movie Awards I'll let you in on this one, we need a gay off. Put JC/EM and AB/JM in the ring and have a tag-team death match for the most awesome unexpected on screen gay couple of 2010. I'm putting my money down on AB/JM, how about you?
Night Catches Us: Many, myself included, were championing an Anthony Mackie Oscar nomination for his turn in The Hurt Locker, which never came. This film might help garner some more recognition for the actor whose done a good job in some mediocre movies (We Are Marshall/She Hate Me) and under-recognized work in more respected movies (Million Dollar Baby). Here's to hoping this one doesn't become the bomb many expect it will be.
Other Releases: Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (NY) & Meskada (LA/NY)
To my fellow North Carolinians 127 Hours is coming our way this week at The Rialto I'll be doing everything in my power to find a way to see it, but I may have to hold off a week.
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