I'm writing to you today on behalf of all humans. There has been some issues as of late and we are in dire need of your advice. Only you can truly help us in our time of need. Please, what's the point of Olive Garden commercials? They're demeaning, not so subtly stereotypical, and possess the entertainment value of watching a chicken eat dirt. Something has to be done about them. I'm not sure our kind can stand them any longer. I fear for us all.
Thank You,
Univarn.
Wide Releases:
Unstoppable: There's a train on the run. No man can stop it. Who you gonna call? THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE!!!!! This is no case for Denzel Washington, he's supposed to be down in Mexico fighting child abduction cartels! No, this is a case for Thomas. This is what he does, it's what he knows! Don't take away his finest hour over some long standing Tony Scott vendetta! We know it was just an accident! All is forgiven. Now get Thomas back out there before it's too late.
Skyline: Tip to surviving alien encounter 11223: Get a directing team not responsible for AvP: Requiem. Or as I like to call it - The Pit of Carkoon 2.0 (Star Wars reference - represent!). There's a fine line between homage and ripoff.... and being out there labeling your film as an homage early on doesn't make it one. Strause guys you're great at visual effects design. Please just leave it at that. You're about to go 0 for 2 in the directing market. I'm not sure anyone has this pegged to be a hit on any level. Then again this year has proven one thing: If You Build Crap, They Will Come.... as long as they (and the media) can convince them to ignore all signs to the contrary.
Morning Glory (Wednesday): I'm not a fan of the 'Wednesday' release for non-major motion pictures. It just seems unnecessary and I hardly ever see it work. Still, Rachel McAdams does flaunt that oogle factor rather well. However... we all know Diane Keaton is where it's really at (Cougars 4 life?). If only Harrison Ford could turn back the clock 20, heck even 10, years all would be right with the world.
Limited Releases:
Cool It: A documentary trying to tackle climate change and remove all the various propaganda from both sides? I'm game.
Tiny Furniture: Awwww look at the cute little furniture. Yes you are. Yes you are. Awwwwww. Written, Directed, and Starring Lena Dunham (?), Tiny Furniture is another in a long line of college kid goes home tries to figure out life films. I've heard good things about Dunham's take on the matter so perhaps there's something there worth the viewing.
That's all I got for you this week. So long my lovely readers and enjoy!
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