007. The Pirates! Band of Misfits

007. (12 Jan) The Pirates! Band of Misfits (2012, Peter Lord) 34



There's some humor in making Queen Victoria villainous while these earnest pirates are too amiable for their own good. Unfortunately, the film is fairly dreadful on every front from terrible voice acting to lame jokes to an ugly aesthetic. Not to oversell Nick Park's work, but this has none of that charm. It's actually frustrating how unfunny this is considering it stole an Oscar nomination from The Rabbi's Cat.

249. The Girl

249. (16 Oct) The Girl (2012, Julian Jarrold) 54



Julian Jarrold seems painfully conscious of what happened with Gus Van Sant's Psycho, so he steers clear from copying much of Hitchcock's iconic imagery. There are hints of the master's work here and there, but Jarrold's a stylish director in his own right with a real flair for period detail. He gets a strong performance out of Sienna Miller, who confidently embodies Tippi Hedren. Toby Jones, on the other hand, is distractingly silly and prevents the film itself from ever actually excelling.

406. Citizen X

406. (31 Aug) Citizen X (1995, Chris Gerolmo) 38







For a docudrama about a serial killer who murdered more than 50 people, Citizen X is unreasonably dull. The focus is on the years-long investigation, which is unravels tediously. Considering the murderer is shown to us early in the film, only to be captured and then released midway through the film, there's no suspense. It's just a matter of how long it will take to bring him to justice. That's slightly over 100 minutes. Donald Sutherland is fairly good here even if he can't keep a consistent Russian accent.