[4.00/10] Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)

Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)

Brief review: Almost 40 years after the release of the original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre", and half a dozen remakes, sequels and prequels, director John Luessenhop brings yet another entry in the already tired franchise, that is more of a late sequel, rather than a proper reboot. Do we really need one? Not really. Since this film is not a reimagining of the original, and it tries to add new elements to the story in order to stand out from the other installments, thankfully "Texas Chainsaw 3D" does not necessarily feel like a 'cinematic deja vu', but on the other hand, that doesn't mean it succeeds in its attempts. The story still feels forced and often nonsensical, and the unsurprisingly hackneyed script is filled with overused slasher cliches. Also, the little twist in the end is ridiculously impausible, and doesn't help the movie either. In this one, one of the biggest horror icons, Leatherface, is not the grimly intimidating masked killer we remember, but a big, clumsy and dull guy, running around with his chainsaw turned on. "Texas Chainsaw" fails to keep you on your toes as well, for the fact that it is lacking in any sort of tension and suspense. Sure, the gore is there and very in-your-face, but the death scenes are crafted with zero imagination, or creativity. Alexandra Daddario saves it from being an utter disaster, by playing a likable protagonist, that exudes decency. However, the other characters are very stereotypical,  and act illogically most of the time, and that makes you want them dead.

Overall summary: Neither as scary as the original, nor as entertaining as the 2003 remake, "Texas Chainsaw 3D" attempts to freshen up the franchise with very little effort, hence, it ends up being a generic sequel, relying mostly on the gore, that has no actual reason to exist.

[4.00/10] The Apparition (2012)

The Apparition (2012)

QuickRatings: Heavy on ominous sound effects, but light on scares, thrills and suspense, this may not be the worst horror movie you'll see this year, as it's pretty watchable for the most part, and even moderately entertaining on particular moments, but in the end, "The Apparition" fails to bring anything new to the table, although it constantly deceives its audience it will. Actually, the only good thing about it is the cool music score, which is creepier than the movie itself, and that says a lot.

[4.00/10] Hit and Run (2012)

 Hit & Run (2012)

QuickRating: Arguably the most pointless movie this year, Palmer and Shepard's "Hit & Run" has a decent cast, and a couple of funny moments and exciting car chases, but in its core it's an idiotic piece of crap with an unpleasantly peculiar sense of humor, ill-fitting action bits, an annoyingly perky music score, unlikable characters, lackluster visuals, and trashy cinematography. In other words, it's neither witty, nor clever, nor pretty to look at, and not particularly entertaining.

[4.00/10] The Cold Light of Day (2012)

The Cold Light of Day (2012)

QuickRating: Unoriginal, derivative, and short on creative ideas, "The Cold Light of Day" fails miserably to set itself apart from the bunch of similar films we've seen thousand times before, and although Henry Cavill and the rest of the cast try to do their best with the lame script they've been given, they can't make up for the countless weaknesses this poor movie has. At least, being shot in Madrid, Spain, it has a nice scenery and decent visuals.

[4.00/10] Silent House (2012)

Silent House (2012)

QuickRating: Shot with a single camera, and in one take, just like the original 2010 Uruguayan movie, "Silent House" relies mostly on Elizabeth Olsen's fairly convincing performance, who manages to care the entire movie on her shoulders, but its creators fail to capture the creepy tone of "La casa muda", and as a result, this remake ends up being a messy, boring nonsense with weak scares, zero thrills, and a hugely anti-climatic final act, that leaves the viewer confused.

[4.00/10] 388 Arletta Avenue (2012)

388 Arletta Avenue (2012)

Brief review: Premiered at last year's TIFF, but theatrically released in 2012, "388 Arletta Avenue" is a voyeurish Canadian thriller that unfolds around a young couple, disturbed by a mysterious stalker. The movie is conceptually creative, as it tries to avoid the overused gimmicks, typical for the 'found footage' genre, and boldly puts a new spin on the POV shooting style, using hidden cameras instead of shaky handy cam. But, hidden camera automatically means no camera movements and less variety, and there are mostly static camera shots, taken always from the same angle, which becomes quite tiresome after a while. Furthermore, "388 Arletta Avenue" quickly loses credibility, because in real life, it's pretty much impossible someone to put so many hidden cameras in the most unbelievable places for such a short amount of time. For a movie labeled as thriller, "388 Arletta Avenue" has far too little thrills, let alone suspense, and that makes it a boring experience most of the time. Is it disturbing? Yes, maybe a bit, but it never manages to get under your skin or really freak you out. The final scene 'reveals' that the mysterious stalker actually doesn't have any real motives for ruining people's lives, and does all that just 'for fun', which is as much underwhelming as it's predictable. The cast is mediocre at best, with Nick Stahl doing a so-so job as the confused James, determined to find his vanished wife.

Overall summary: It's fairly disturbing and it takes a slightly different approach to the POV genre, but sadly, "388 Arletta Avenue" ends up being a rather dull voyeuristic thriller, lacking in tension, that feels more like a failed cinematic experiment rather than a proper movie.

[4.00/10] One for the Money (2012)

One for the Money (2012)

Brief review: Based on Janet Evanovich's novel of the same name, "One for the Money" is TV series director Julie Anne Robinson's first feature film, that unfortunately, apart from its stylish opening credits, fails on pretty much every single level. To start with the obvious, the movie's premise is way too similar to another 'bounty hunting' movie from two years ago, called, well, "The Bounty Hunter". For that reason alone, "One for the Money" instantly loses points for originality. To make things worse, due to its heavily unbalanced script, the film doesn't work neither as a comedy, nor as an action movie, let alone as a hybrid of the two genres. The humor is dry, the jokes barely work, and the action scenes are too unconvincing and clumsily-shot. Probably because of director Robinson's previous background, visually, "One for the Money" has that cheap made-for-TV feel written all over it. The production design is unimpressive, and the cinematography lacks any contrast at all, giving the film a rather bland look. On the bright side, the cast, does a reasonable job considering the weak script. Katherine Heigl's natural charm commands the screen every time she shows up, but she doesn't really have much to work with. "Terra Nova"'s own Jason O'Mara has an undeniably strong screen presence, but despite his chemistry with Heigl, his character Joe never fully engages, because of the flat writing.

Overall summary: The chemistry between Katherine Heigl and Jason O'Mara is there, and it has one or two amusing moments, but sadly, "One for the Money" feels way too familiar, and its 'TV' director struggles to balance action and comedy, leaving the end result sloppy.

[4.00/10] The Darkest Hour (2011)

The Darkest Hour (2011)

QuickRating: It has a decent premise, the special effects are pretty adequate for the most part, and the scenery of Moscow city is absolutely glorious to watch, but "The Darkest Hour" remains an unimaginative and poorly-executed alien invasion flick that feels rushed and contrived from the very beginning and has a paper-thin plot and zero character development. Worst of all, the trailer is more tense, exciting and entertaining to watch than the movie itself.

[4.00/10] Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs Evil (2011)

Hoodwinked Too!
Hood vs Evil (2011)

QuickRating: While the original movie was a true breath of fresh air into the animation genre, clever and full of wit, this sequel falls flat on its face, and lacks the charm and the high entertainment value of its predecessor. The CGI animation itself has definitely improved, and the characters are still interesting, but it's the messy, uninspired script that makes "Hoodwinked Too!" a rather dull cinematic experience.

[4.00/10] Wrecked (2011)

Wrecked (2011)

QuickRating: Greenspan's hardly watchable debut full-length thriller is basically a 'one man show', though 'show' isn't the most appropriate to use in this case, because despite Adrien Brody's difficult and strong performance, there's nothing even remotely entertaining about this experimental crap. It also doesn't fit into the genre it claims to be part of, as "Wrecked" is totally thrill-free, suspense-free and... dialogue-free. Not to say it's pretty much plotless.

[4.00/10] A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas (2011)

A Very Harold & Kumar
Christmas (2011)

QuickRating: Although it has its moments, unlike its laugh-out-loud funny predecessors, "A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas" is far from being hilarious or enjoyable. It's just offensive, too juvenile and mostly stupid, and it fails to deliver good, genuine laughs. And even the oddly delightful relationship between Kal Penn ans John Cho's amusingly likable characters has lost its comic spark. What a disappointment!

[4.00/10] Dream House (2011)

Dream House (2011)

QuickRating: Jim Sheridan's visual style is as appealing as always, but "Dream House" is a daft, pointless and completely scare-free suburban horror flick, that suffers badly from a muddled pacing, sterile direction and a deeply underwhelming twist midway through the bore. And not even the impressive A-list cast including Daniel Craig, Rachel Weisz and Naomi Watts can save this film from being the convoluted, dull, disappointing mess that it is.

[4.00/10] Abduction (2011)

Abduction (2011)

QuickRating: Aside from Molina and Weaver's typically solid acting and a few watchable action scenes, "Abduction" is nothing more than a hard-to-spoof "The Bourne Identity" wannabe teen action thriller, full of shallow dialogues, plot holes and overly predictable twists, which is further let down by Taylor Lautner's wooden performance and his poor attempt to become the next big action star. Not the worst movie of the year, but pretty darn close.

[4.00/10] ChromeSkull: Laid to Rest 2 (2011)

ChromeSkull:
Laid to Rest 2 (2011)

QuickRating: Slightly better than the cheap and ugly original, but still quite hideous in terms of execution, "Laid to Rest 2" is a gore-driven sequel that relies mostly on its nasty death scenes and in-your-face graphicness, but truth to be told, Robert Hall's direction hasn't evolved at all, the acting is still atrocious, and the mysterious killer behind the ChromeSkull mask continues to be as uninteresting as he was in the first movie.

[4.00/10] Shark Night [3D] (2011)

Shark Night [3D] (2011)

Full review: Being a big fan of shark-related movies and judging from "Shark Night"'s cool poster and previews, I expected this film to be pure mindless entertainment. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. Despite the countless cliches, "Shark Night 3D" is quite watchable at first, even moderately fun at times, however, after the reveal of how the sharks have gotten into the lake, the movie gets dumber and dumber with each next scene, and turns into a big fat "fishy" mess, that hardly makes any sense. I can't believe I'm saying this, but if it was more straight-forward, it could have been a lot better and a lot more fun to watch than it actually was. The scares are also lacking big time, except for the fact that there are a couple of sudden shark attacks, that might make you jump out of your seat. "Final Destination 2" director, David R. Ellis, does a pretty good job in the first half of the movie, delivering plenty of creative and diverse camera angles, yet unfortunately, his direction goes absolutely out of control later on, and turns from decent to amateurishly lame. Maybe, in the right hands, "Shark Night" could have been a great silly fun, but sadly, it's just silly. The most (unpleasantly) surprising thing about this movie is, that the special effects are shockingly bad and poorly-executed. During the underwater scenes, the sharks and their movements look so cartoonishly fake and the CGI work is so obvious, it's laughable. The 3D ranges from decent to completely hideous, and adds nothing to the visuals of the movie, nor to the overall experience. On a positive note though, the scenery is beautiful, and the lake itself - absolutely glorious. Acting-wise, "Shark Night 3D" also disappoints. The entire cast is incredibly charming and full of fresh faces, however, none of the young actors/actresses possesses any acting skills whatsoever. Sara Paxton is as phony and incapable as she's cute, Dustin Milligan is ridiculously stiff, Joel David Moore is goofy as usual, Chris Zylka is nothing more than just a pretty face, and former American Idol contestant, Katharine McPhee, is mediocre at best in her role as Beth. Joshua Leonard as Red delivers the only worthy performance here.

Overall summary: A few fun-to-watch attack scenes aside, pretty much everything about "Shark Night 3D" is wrong - the story is absurd, the characters are shallow, the special effects are cheesy at best, and the conclusion is downright ridiculous. If you want to see a truly frightening, tense and realistic shark flick, check out Traucki's "The Reef" instead.

[4.00/10] Faster (2010)

Faster (2010)

Brief review: George Tillman, Jr.'s latest film, "Faster" is about an ex-convict, Driver, who sets out to avenge his brother's death after they were double-crossed during a heist years ago. The most paradoxical thing about this revenge flick is, that its title doesn't match the subject matter, nor the pacing of the movie. Although it's only 95 minutes long, "Faster" feels like twice as much, due to Tillman's lazy direction and its outright dull pacing. In fact, "Faster" is so tedious and sluggish, it feels like the entire movie has been shot in slow motion. Plus, it's additionally ruined by its ridiculously stupid twist ending. Dwayne Johnson is the only good thing about this so-called action flick. He does his best with the material given, but his charisma and physical skills are completely wasted in a one-note role, and heavily undershadowed by Tillman's incompetent directing. Billy Bob Thornton gives an absolutely lifeless performance, and Oliver Jackson-Cohen' is as annoying as his snobbish accent. Also, "Faster" is kinda pretentious visuals-wise. The sepia-toned cinematography is somewhat depressing, as is the overall mood of the movie. Moreover, the action scenes are boringly-staged, and certainly not exciting enough to camouflage the film's many weaknesses.

Overall summary: With its tedious pacing, uneven narration, moody direction and rather unimpressive action sequences, Tillman's "Faster" doesn't live up to its promising title. At all.

[4.00/10] Deserted House (2010)

Deserted House (2010)

Brief review: Another month, another 'found footage' haunted house horror flick, this time coming from Korea. It's about three haunted house club members and three camera crew, who decide to look into an infamous haunted house somewhere in Gyeonggi Province, known to be possessed by real ghosts, but they all disappear without a trace, and there's only a video they left behind. Unsurprisingly, "Deserted House" just can't overcome its cliched premise, and the end result is a quite ridiculous and hardly believable ghost story, that is neither neither funny, nor scary, nor involving enough to catch viewers' attention. Even worse, "Deserted House" lacks any technical qualities whatsoever. The editing of the 'found footage' is probably the film's biggest problem, as it's so terribly-done, it may not only confuse your brain, but also hurt your eyes. The poor choice of shooting location adds to the overall technical awfulness of the movie, as the deserted house itself is nothing more than an old filthy warehouse full of garbage, that is neither atmospheric, nor creepy enough to fit the supposed-to-be-spooky subject matter of the movie. It's just ugly. The largely unknown cast of young Korean actors also fail to deliver convincing performances.

Brief review: Dull, hardly scary, terribly-acted and amateurishly-executed, "Deserted House" is simply pit, a ghost story at its worst, and a poor entry in the 'found footage' sub-genre.

[4.00/10] Dinner for Schmucks (2010)

Dinner for Schmucks (2010)

"Dinner for Schmucks" tells the story of Tim, a rising executive, who works for a boss who hosts a monthly event in which the guest who brings the biggest buffoon gets a career-boost. Though he declines the invitation at first, Tim changes his mind when he meets Barry, a man who builds dioramas using stuffed mice. The scheme backfires when Barry's blundering good intentions send Tim's life into a downward spiral, threatening a major business deal and possibly scuttling Tim's engagement to his fiancee. Jay Roach, the director of "Meet the Parents" and its sequel, brings yet another unbelievably lame and painfully unfunny comedy, that fails to deliver any genuine laughs. Unsurprisingly, "Dinner for Schmucks"'s main problem lies within its script, as it offers nothing but silly jokes, idiotic characters, and a formulaic story that becomes predictable rather quickly. This remake completely lacks wit and clever humor, as instead it uses practical jokes and tired gimmicks, to turn itself into an agonizing journey that is, at times, physically painful. Jay Roach's stupid comedy also suffers from uneven pacing and poor editing, and with its 114 minute running time, "Dinner for Schmucks" is just a little too overlong and pretty tedious. Steve Carrell could have been this film's saving grace, but unfortunately he's just plain bad. As a whole, Carrell is a decent comedian, but he plays an unbelievably dumb character in this film. There's just nothing interesting or amusing about him, except for the dioramas he makes - those are absolutely incredible, and nothing like I've seen before in my life. The scenes that the mice and the dioramas are thoroughly compelling and truly fascinating to watch, and unfortunately the only highlight of "Dinner for Schmucks". Paul Rudd is physically sympathetic, but his character is neither interesting, nor funny. Also, sadly, Carell and Rudd share very little screen chemistry, which makes this film an even more unpleasant experience. The supporting performances are mediocre at best. Zach Galifianakis is annoying as usual, Lucy Punch is typically over-the-top, and Stephanie Szostak, while very good-looking, is rather boring. Painfully unfunny, thoroughly predictable and outrageously lame, "Dinner for Schmucks" is a movie made for schmucks.

• My Rating: 4.00/10
• Rotten Tomatoes: 44% (5.4/10)
• IMDb: 6.2/10

[4.00/10] Dans Ton Sommeil a.k.a. In Their Sleep (2010)

Dans Ton Sommeil

a.k.a.

In Their Sleep (2010)

This "modern" French horror/thriller, titled "In Their Sleep", follows Sarah, whose life is in pieces, one year after her teenage son's death. Then late one night, her car accidentally hits Arthur, a young man the same age as her boy, who suddenly emerges out of the forest and onto the road. Wounded and frightened, he is running from a mysterious assailant, hunting him down after Arthur caught him red handed in the act of burglary. Sarah sympathizes with him, taking him in, only to be tracked down by the burglar whose murderous rage towards Arthur forces her to take action. Unbeknownst to Sarah though, things aren't quite the way they seem… "In Their Sleep" is Caroline du Potet's first feature film, co-directed with brother Eric, and it shows. The film is not just dull, lifeless and incompetently-directed, but it also completely lacks suspense and actual thrills. It desperately tries to give you this realistic feel, but it miserably fails, as "In Their Sleep" is so rushed and contrived, it never succeeds in delivering a believable and effective story, or compelling enough characters. Caroline and Eric du Potet use an intricate plot structure and tricky editing, in order to complicate purposely this otherwise muddled and inert thriller. Unfortunately, directors' attempt to compensate for the film's overly simplistic and unintriguing story, could be considered a failed effort, as "In Their Sleep"'s complex structure does nothing but confuse the audience. Both, Anne Parillaud and Arthur Dupont, do a fairly good job in portreying Sarah and Arthur, but the problem lies in the script, as neither their characters are not fully developed, nor their relationship feels even remotely credible. Although tentatively proclaimed as a horror movie, "In Their Sleep" has very little to offer in terms of thrills, scares and gore. Yes, there are some dead and cut-throat scenes, but those are very few and lacking in gore and gruesomeness. The conclusion is a bit unexpected, yet completely unsatisfying and rather stupid. With its weak script, uninspired plot and lack of credibility, "In Their Sleep" is yet another poor exercise in filmmaking.

• My Rating: 4.00/10
• Rotten Tomatoes: N/A
• IMDb: 5.6/10

[4.00/10] The Possession of David O'Reilly (2010)

The Possession of David O'Reilly (2010)

"The Possession of David O'Reilly" is a low-budget UK horror flick, that unfolds around David O'Reilly, a guy dumped by his girlfriend and looking to crash with his London friends for the night. Unfortunately, O'Reilly is bringing more than emotional baggage, because he reckons something like a demon is stalking his every move. But is he really possessed or just nuts? "The Possession of David O'Reilly" is yet another 'shocker' wannabe, that claims to be based on real events, but there aren't any evidences for that. Furthermore, the film is not shot in the popular moc-doc style, which makes it even less believable. The first half is kinda interesting, and it has some pretty tense moments, mostly coming from main character's disturbing behavior and the creepy appearence of the horrific creatures. Sadly, after a decent first half, "The Possession of David O'Reilly" turns into a chaotic mess, and it makes less and less sense as it progresses. Plus, its confusing final part and anti-climatic ending let this film down even more. Acting-wise, this film is passable. Giles Alderson gives an and over-the-top neurotic performance as the title character, who successfully spreads fear and panic among his two friends. Francesca Fowler and Zoe Richards as the confused and terrified young couple do an okay job in portraying their characters. Visually and technically, "The Possession of David O'Reilly" is a lackluster though. The low budget is obvious, as the whole movie is shot in a 3-rooms flat and it feels very limited in terms of settings. The lightning is horrible, especially during dark scenes, and at times it makes it a little difficult to see what's happening on screen. On a positive note, the practical creature effects and make-up effects are surprisingly good, accompanied with some sinister sound effects. Potentially good and occasionally intense, yet lacking in execution and believability, "The Possession of David O'Reilly" is a below average UK horror flick, that fails to provide enough scares and suspense, despite a promising premise and some creepy imagery.

• My Rating: 4.00/10
• Rotten Tomatoes: N/A
• IMDb: 4.1/10