[3.00/10] Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines (2012)

Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines (2012)

Brief review: 5? Seriously? Let's all hope it's the last, because this franchise really got milked to death. Yes, the original was great gory fun and turned into some sort of modern horror classic, and the first sequel was a passable entertainment as well, but the next three installments, including this one, were just plain awful and rather unnecessary. "Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines" is every bit as terrible as 2009's entry, "Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead", and not at all worth-seeing, unless you are a die-hard gore freak. Pretty much everything about this stupid sequel is wrong, from the wildly unimaginative script, shallow dialogues and stereotypical characters, to the hideous direction, laughably bad make-up effects and below par execution. Moreover, it would be a complete waste of time to mention anything about the storyline, simply because such is lacking. To be able to create a decent plot for a horror movie, you need some fresh ideas, tiny bit of imagination and some inspiration, but obviously director Declan O'Brien didn't think of that, as he delivered arguably the most dull, generic and lazy sequel in the series. No need to mention that such important factors as scares and suspense are completely non-existent, but at least the kill scenes aren't that terrible. Yes, the gore looks quite fake, but there's loads of it, and the deaths are fairly well-executed, and gross enough to please most blood-lusty horror buffs out there.

Overall summary: A couple of cool, yet repulsively gory death scenes aside, "Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines" is yet another unnecessary entry in the already drained franchise, with no plot, zero scares, cheap make-up effects, awful execution, and dumb, poorly-acted characters.

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[3.00/10] Kalevet a.k.a. Rabies (2011)

Kalevet a.k.a.
Rabies (2011)

QuickRating: Israel's first-ever horror movie (and hopefully their last) starts out promising enough, with an utterly claustrophobic and intense opening sequence, but soon after that it turns into a nonsensical mess that despite its familiar scenario tries hard to be original and inventive, but ends up being a boring, confusing and tasteless horror flick with lots of gore, but no scares whatsoever.

[3.00/10] Ghastly (2011)

Ghastly (2011)

QuickRating: Yes, there are some truly iconic Asian horror movies from the past, but sadly, it seems like the filmmakers from the Far East have really ran out of fresh ideas. A couple of fairly gruesome death scenes aside, this Korean horror mess of a movie has nothing to offer in terms of scares, gore and creepy images. With its confusing plot, poor script and amateurish execution, "Ghastly" is an Asian horror cinema at its worst.

[3.00/10] The Amityville Haunting (2011)

The Amityville Haunting (2011)

QuickRating: Set in a ridiculously inaccurate location, and featuring an implausible story, poor direction, annoying characters and tons of cheap thrills and overly-familiar horror gimmicks, The Asylum's "The Amityville Haunting" feels and looks like a lame "Paranormal Activity" rip-off, so terribly made and so un-scary, that even die-hard fans of the 'found footage' genre will find really hard to appreciate.

[3.00/10] Wushu Warrior (2010)

Wushu Warrior (2010)

"Wushu Warrior" takes place in 19th Century China, where Lord Edward Lindsey is operating an opium running scheme. When he has one of his adversaries, Reverend Elders, killed, the reverend’s son Jonathan is taken to a small village on the outskirts of the big city. Upon learning his father has died, Jonathan is taken under the wing of village head Uncle Pei. When Jonathan sees two kids arguing, he learns that they are studying the martial art of wushu. When Jonathan asks Uncle Pei to teach him, Pei resorts to training him in secret. Truth to be told, this Canadian-Chinese co-production is probably the most poorly-executed and uninspired martial arts flick I've seen an my life, as it fails to deliver on every single level. It's a complete rip-off of many, many other and better films of this genre and it's shot and choreographed with zero imagination. The story is a standard fare, that pretty much contains every possible cliche known in history of martial arts movies. It shamelessly borrows an already tired ideas, without even changing them a bit, in order to avoid the plagiarism. The funniest thing about "Wushu Warrior" is the fact that every single Chinese actor in this film speaks English at all times, which makes it even less authentic and credible. Not a surprise though, since the director himself is a noneAsian. The writing is completely sub-par, as all the lines are laughably ridiculous and stiffly-delivered by the actors involved. In terms of acting, this flick also fails to make a good impression. All the English-speaking actors are wildly unknown, and lacking in both, acting and fighting skills. You won't believe for a minute that Tod Fennell is a warrior and a martial arts master. On a positive note, the Chinese actors are vastly better, as they play way more engagig characters. Although pretending to be a martial arts movie, "Wushu Warrior" is almst lacking in action, especially in its first half. And as soon as the action starts though, you find yourself even more bored than before, as the fight scenes are horribly-staged and amateurishly-choreographed, accompained with poor wire work and laughably cheesy special effects. Same could be said for the training sequnces, which are mostly boring, rather forced and ridden with cliches. The lack of budget is obvious, as "Wushu Warrior" looks and feels like a cheap made-for-TV movie with its low production values, extremely cheesy special effects and technical incompetence. Yes, the Chinese scenery is exotically gorgeous as always, but that's not enough to save this film from being visually poor and hardly engaging. With its lame and thoroughly predictable story, third-rate fight choreography, and dull and uninspired direction, "Wushu Warrior" should be considered as one of the worst martial arts movies ever created.

• My Rating: 3.00/10
• Rotten Tomatoes: N/A
• IMDb: 5.2/10