Dear Bollywood (Things I want to say to the Indian Film Industry)

This post started on a serious note with what was supposed to be 10 things I wanted to say to Indian actors and/or film makers, but that was not to be. What it transformed into was a comic piece which had me laughing at my own jokes, much to the annoyance of my wife who was sleeping next to me at the time. Yes, it was one of those good days when I got to sleep on the bed in place of the couch. You have to realize that in my head, I'm the funniest person alive and in the same head all of you are laughing your guts out while reading this post... starting now! The only way you can tell me and the rest of the world that I wasn't funny is by commenting, which is something I welcome, but in all honesty I'll just delete that comment and you would have wasted all your time and energy in writing that comment... So I would suggest read the article and even if you don't feel like laughing, fake it!

Dear Bollywood, please stop using the word Bollywood. It means nothing, unlike that place called Hollywood which is, well, an actual place. Also saying you're part of Bollywood to foreigners is as good as saying you're from Timbuktu. Be proud of your cinema.

(Yes! I know I've called you Bollywood too in this article, but that's so that you listen to me and also so I get more hits with people searching Google)

Dear Shahrukh Khan, you may have an ever growing fan base, but we all miss the humble Shahrukh of the Fuji and Baazigar era. The whole 'I'm the best' attitude is just so lame. Also Ra.One, lets just hope the 'one' referred to the number of movies you had planned in the series.

Dear Deepika Padukone, we really want to see you do something other than playing the same old role of a modern girl who drinks, smokes, is okay with live in relationships, calls her parents by their first names etc. Nothing wrong with the role, but you've been doing the same thing again and again and again and again ... See how annoying it is when I repeat the same word ... That!

Dear Abhishek Bachchan, Ek role, Ek power house wala role mangta hai. Angry young man will do. No more multi-starrers, okay a few, but also some main leads playing complex characters in good stories. Good stories being the main part. Kabhi toh koi Idea apne liye rakhlo.

Dear Regional Cinema, is that the right term? I'm not sure, but seriously though, you make some outstanding films, so please release them with subtitles. We don't have to always wait for dubbed versions or for Hindi cinema to pick them up and remake them.

Dear “mithai” makers, I hope you learnt an important lesson. We in India watch classic Hollywood films, and world cinema, and Indian cinema, and pretty much everything you think we don't watch. So don't copy things and try to present them as original. If you do, don't send your film for consideration to the Oscars. If you do...

(Yup! Nothing. Nothing is what you'll get in return)

Dear Indian Cinema, when you release the DVD, kindly pay a tiny bit of attention to the subtitles. It's not too much hard work, and it will only benefit you in the long run when it comes to the international market.

Dear Akshay Kumar, in your own words 'Bacchae Ki Jaan lega kya?'. What in the world are you making. Rowdy Superbore and what not. Seriously, barish karwa aur hosh main aao.

Dear various actors and actresses, please, please, please keep your relationships a secret. We know you are all modern and okay with us knowing who you are dating, but honestly speaking, we don't really want to know... Okay!

Dear Anurag Kashyup, aapko itna gussa kyon ata hai? Zara chill marne Ka aur Gangs of Wasseypur type good-good filums banane Ka.

Dear Sonakshi Sinha, stop with the village-belle roles you've been doing and start experimenting a bit.

Dear Actors in their 30s and 40s with 6-8 packs, you make my wife drool. I no like this. Please eat more junk food.

Dear 3D - DIE!!

Dear Ek Thi Daayan, hahahahahahahahaha bas bas hansaa hansaa ke maare gi kya?

Dear makers of Agneepath (2012), Don't listen to anyone else, you made an amazingly bloody revenge drama with stellar performances, and I liked your film.

Dear...

Knock knock,

Excuse me a moment please,

Who's there?

'Tusshar Kapoor now with two s''

Tusshar Kapoor now with two s' who?

'You're right actually'

Dear Anushka Sharma, please take the advice I gave to Deepika and do roles that are other than that of a Delhi girl. Thoda moderation to banta hai Na!

Dear...

Knock knock,

Humph! Excuse me once again,

Who's there?

Tusshar Kapoor

Tusshar Kapoor who?

Jeetender ka beta

Chal jhoota!

Dear Gangs of Wasseypur, you made many a women on twitter change their twitter handles to 'womaniya' ... I know not why?

Dear makers of Student Of The Year, since you made a film about the new generation, all I'd like to say is WTF?

Dear Karan Johar, no one anymore cares if you're inside the closet, outside it, or in between. So, yes, if some doofus asks you that, you may go Tarantino on him. In fact I'd pay to see you go Tarantino on that poor soul.

Dear Imran, please meet Zayed Khan. Your future-self. No seriously!!

Dearest Makhi, my wife said she did not like how you looked in the film and that you gave her nightmares. Very superficial of her I know, but you might want to fire your makeup artist.

Dear Deol Family (minus Abhay), Where are you? What? I shouldn't wake them up? Oh okay!

Dear...

Knock knock

Ufff.. Sorry

WHO'S THERE?

'Ritesh Deshmukh.'

Ritesh Deshmukh kaun

'Woh yahaan Tushar aaya tha kya?'  #facepalm

(#facepalm kya? It's a twitter thing, Tum nahi samjhoge)

Dear Aishwarya, people still never get your jokes during interviews or the accent. Actually people don't get my jokes either, or my accent. Hmmmm...

Dear Irrfan, please don't let the West use and abuse you. You're a great actor so choose your roles wisely. I mean The Amazing Spider-Man ... What was that?

Dear English Vinglish, this English is a very phunny language and you made Mind Your Language into a filum. That is all.

Dear Sonam Kapoor, itna sannata kyun hai behan? What… wait, wait, I take the last part back.

Dear Omi Vaidya, aapka 3 idiots wala act khatam hua toh kuch aur dekhen?

Dear Prateik Babbar, I thought I had a squeaky voice. Also see above advice to Imran Khan.

Dear Vicky Donor, you took all the fun out of Doner Kebabs

Dear jamai raja, Hahahahahahahahaha yes, we're laughing at you.

Dear Saif, Older? Check. Younger? Check. Same Age? Abhi Picture Baaki hai dost. Okay fine, I'm jealous.

Dear makers of Bol Bachchan, Why? Whhhhhhhyyyyyyyy?

Dear makers of Paanch Ghantey Mien Paanch Crore, Thank you for ek title mien puri story.

Dear Madhur Bhandarkar, I have a story for you. There once was a director. He made a film. Then he made the same film in a different setup with a different cast. Then he made another film with a different setup, but it was still the same film, only with different actors. Then, he made another film, but this time is was still the same film where only the setup and the actors were different. Yes, humko pakaoge toh hum tumko pakaenge.

Dear makers of I M 24, if you would have told the audience the real age of the actors, they still wouldn't have cared about the film.

Dear makers of Jism 2, the only people who benefitted from your film were the producers of Sunny Leone's earlier films.

Dear Sajid Khan, Maaf karo Bhai, hum galati manlete hain. Houseful 3 mat banana.

Dear dialogue writer of Agent Vinod, "aap coffe ke liye chalna chahenge" ... Yeh kya hai?

Dear the team of Tezz, I love how your cast goes inside a manhole in London and come out in Birmingham. Might come as a surprise, but we too travel outside India.

Dear Akshay Khanna, Where are you? Kya? isko bhi sone do? Yaar, pehle bola karo.

Dear entire team of Players. You had a story given to you. You had two films you could get inspired from. And what is it you do... Bolo... Chup kyun ho... Time ki barbadi.

Dear Salman, there is so much I can say about you, but I won't, kyuki mujhe John aur Vivek nahi ban na hai.

Dear...

Knock knock

That does it

Who is it?

'Shatrughan Sinha'

Who? What?

'KHAMOOSH!'

Okay!

Interview with Tisca Chopra

Just like we are taught to never judge a book by its cover, we too should never speculate about the personality of a film star simply by his/her onscreen or public persona. While Tisca Chopra has always remained clear of any controversies, she is somewhat of a dark horse of the film industry. Gaining acclaim after her comeback in Taare Zameen Par, I found her, through my interactions on twitter and email, to be a very down to earth person, courteous, and someone who has varied interests ranging from traveling to writing, along with an obvious passion for cinema. Her colorful nature, she did answer the questions in purple, along with a knack for good humor, just read some of her answers, she has won many hearts with her smile and brilliant performances in films and in commercials.

I would like to thank Ms. Chopra for taking out the time from her busy schedule to answer the questions put forth about her life and about her time in the Indian film industry.

Raghav Modi (RM): You've been working in the film industry for a while now, but your comeback came about with Taare Zameen Parwith a rather unconventional role of a mother to a young boy. How did that happen?

Tisca Chopra (TC): One of the assistants on the film, Ritu Bhatia had seen my work on TV. I was called in to audition. I did my best at the audition and I was on the same evening. 

RM: Being a part of the Indian film industry for so many years how do you feel it has changed over the years?

TC: The age of the actor is here. If you can act, you’ll be working and working a lot. The only thing that can stop you is if you develop an attitude.

Multiplexes have breathed life into new types of stories. The next step is movies that have multi ethnic, multi country casts and crews- world stories... some of that we have seen in Crash and Babel, but more is yet to come.

RM: What according to you is the next logical step that the film industry should be heading towards? Has the audience really started to look forward to "intelligent" cinema or is there scope for everything still?

TC: Films like Ready, Golmaal and Son Of Sardaar prove that the audiences love comedies and action films. Yet, slowly there is a distinct audience emerging for smaller and sassier films too. With a bursting-at-the-seams population like ours, how can only one type of film work? Everything works, so long as it's got a semblance of a soul.

RM: There has always been a gap of few years between your films. Your filmography is somewhat empty between 1995 till 2000 and then again from 2004 till 2007. This also included a name change. Why have these breaks been important and where have you been busy during these years?

TC: There are three kinds of roles for women in Bollywood- Babe, Bhabhi and Beeji. I keep ducking the stereotype. Anything that offers me chance to play a real person, I will do it. Fat, funny, thin, bald, ugly...anything, so long as its real and has a good story to tell.

I’ve never been homogeneous. I do not feel pressure to do work all the time. I travel, I read and when something fun comes up, I do it. It's important for me to believe in the story and in the people making it. One can’t keep reaping if one is not sowing. I want to put in a little living to be able to bring something fresh to my work. I don’t want to develop emotional myopia…I can’t see other actors films and act out of that. I need to meet people, observe life, and do different things.

Meantime, I have finished a book I am writing. It's called ‘Get Your Act Together’. We have also been traveling with ‘Dinner with Friends‘ a fabulous play that I’ve had the good fortune to be in. 

RM: Ever since your return to films you have been doing a number serious films/roles like TZP, Firaaq or even Mirch to an extent. Has this been a conscious decision or it is always about the role rather than the genre of the film?

TC: Not at all. I am absolutely dying to do a comedy. Friends and family will tell you that I’m quite a clown. TZP set a benchmark that most people just follow. Coming up shortly is a comedy I did, ‘10ml Love’. I enjoyed that so much that now I’m seriously looking for another comic script… something totally crazy. Something like As Good As It Gets… smart and funny.

RM: Although it is a clichéd question, but you must have a wish list when it comes to directors and actors. So, which director and actor would you want to work with, someone you haven't worked with yet?

TV: Anyone with a delicious script. Actually, I am now keen to write a script myself... maybe that’s the next step for me. But, if you are asking whose work I like, then Raju Hirani, Vishal Bhardwaj, Shimit Amin, Dibaker Banerjee, Neeraj Pandey (Wednesday), Subhash Kapoor (Phas Gaye Re Obama), Abhishek Sharma(Tere Bin Laden) are some names.

Internationally, I’m a huge fan of Woody Allen’s films. There are so many excellent directors like John Lasseter, The Coen brothers, Peter Jackson, Clint Eastwood, Ang Lee, Martin Scoecsese and Christopher Nolan. I’d love to work with actors like Leonardo Di Capprio, Jhonny Depp, Helen Mirren, Ryan Gosling and Meryl Streep.

RM: As an actress, do you have any regrets, roles that you missed out on for one reason or another?

TC: I did not miss out on anything because I live for the moment and make the film I’m doing at the moment the best fun thing in the world. So whether the film does well or not, I’ve given my heart and soul to it and had a blast making it. It's a win win. So, to answer your question I have no regrets.

..unless you talk about ‘Fargo’,‘Chicago’, ‘Bullets over Broadway‘ or ‘As Good As It Gets’, then yes I did miss out on those.. 

RM: Can you tell us about some of your up-and-coming projects?

TC: Coming out on the 7th of December is ‘10ml Love’, a mad comedy based on Shakespeare’s‘A Midsummer Nights Dream’. I’m filming ‘Ankur Arora Murder Case’ that is being produced by Vikram Bhatt, at the moment. ‘Qissa’, an international film with Irrfan is just getting done. There’s a bi-lingual thriller that is starting in February. And like I said, I have an idea for a film, which is a comedy. I want to write that asap.

RM: What are some of the perks of being in the limelight and also some drawbacks that you wish you could change?

TC: I wish I didn’t have to wear high heels. Something about wearing high heels makes your brain stop functioning. The flip side is that, that makes one appealing to certain types of men.

I’m also intrinsically shy, so sometimes that becomes an effort- to fight my basic personality and be open. Being a celebrity, one has to reveal selectively, but being an actor has opened my soul.

RM: One of the perks that we are aware of is that actors get to travel all around the world on the pretext of filming. Is there anyplace that you've discovered because of a shoot that you would like to return to?

TC: I’m pretty hooked to travel, work or no work. My husband’s a pilot, so we end up traveling a lot. I fell in love with Istanbul. That’s one place I’d love to go back to. Manali is a favorite in India. I want to definitely go to Ladakh this coming year, the Dead Sea, the Rio Mardi Gras and the Machu Picchu area.

RM: Before we let you go you have to tell us your five favourite Indian Films and five favourite Non-Indian films?

TC:  International- As Good As It Gets, Fargo, Shawshank Redemption, Bullets Over Broadway, The Green Mile.  

Indian- Lagaan, Ab Tak Chappan, Raat aur Din, Taare Zameen Par, 3 Idiots.

Interview with author Baradwaj Rangan

Having grown up watching Mani Ratnam films, albeit his Hindi films, I welcomed the chance to interview Baradwaj Rangan who in his book Conversations with Mani Ratnam (review) dissects, discusses, and divulges into the filmography of this prolific director via a series of "freewheeling conversations".   

The book is a wonderful piece that proves to be a window into the mind of a director. Mr. Rangan obviously has a love towards Mani Ratnam's films, a love that showcases itself in the form of the passionate question and answer sessions that make the book a must for any film enthusiast.

I would like to thank Mr. Baradwaj Rangan for taking out the time to answer the questions put forth and for also helping me re-discover a director who has been an integral part of Indian cinema right from his very first film. 

Baradwaj Rangan

Raghav Modi (RM) - In your book Conversations with Mani Ratnam you take on a novel approach on discussing the director's filmography. While memoirs have become common amongst the film industry off late, a conversational book like yours is still a lesser known commodity in our part of the world. Is this a change you hope to see more of?

Baradwaj Rangan (BR) - The quick answer is yes. But it also depends on the filmmaker, and how open they are to talking. Ultimately  no one is going to fully open up about everything, but are they at least committed enough to slog through questions about their career? And are they willing to genuinely engage in a back-and-forth conversation, which may sometimes be not-so-flattering to them? Those are the questions you need to answer before determining their fit for this kind of book.

RM - Mani Ratnam is one of the few directors who have influenced the movie going public of both regional and Hindi cinema. Still, his Tamil and other language films, besides Hindi, are not known amongst the Hindi cinema watchers. Why do you feel that while world cinema (subtitled non-English films) is so easily accepted in the North, we still struggle with regional films to get noticed across the country? 

BR - One reason is surely the lack of subtitled prints. The only time I get to see Marathi or Bengali films is when I go to film festivals. What happens to these prints after they make the festival rounds? Why aren't they converted to DVDs? I've never found an answer to these questions. But even then, the number of people who seek out “foreign” films – in the sense of films that are in any language that’s foreign to their ears – is quite limited. The same people who check out French and Polish films will probably see these films, if subtitled. It’s still difficult to cross over to a larger market.

RM - Mani Ratnam is unlike a number of Hindi film directors who are very in-your-face with film promotion. He comes across as a person who would rather let his work speak. How easy or hard was it for him to open up to you and talk about films that are an integral part of his life?

BR - We just started talking, with no fixed agenda, and it slowly became a series of conversations. The fact is that he was open to this – and this openness, combined with a sense of comfort developed over time, made it easier for me.

RM - Indian audiences have become attracted to scandals and gossip when it comes to films and film-stars. Do you feel genuine artists like Mani Ratnam is at a loss as they stick to the conventional forms of film promotion? In fact he mentions in the book that for him going to premiers is a big ordeal as he would rather just release the film and get over with it.

BR - This is a question you’ll have to ask him. As you said earlier, he’s someone who’d rather let his work speak for himself. But no, I don’t think cheapening oneself with scandals and gossip is the way to go about it.

RM - There is a certain selfishness in your introduction as you almost feel cheated when Mani Ratnam went national with his films in the post-Roja era. Why and where do these feelings arise from?

BR - I thought this was all there in the introduction. There was this filmmaker making films only for us Madras kids (as it appeared), and we wanted more. And I don’t know that I would call this selfishness so much as self-centeredness.

RM - Conversations with Mani Ratnam is a very film-centric book that methodically discusses the films by the director and stays clear of any scandalous anecdotes. While it would attract film students and the die-hard film enthusiasts, the general reading public might not find it equally interesting. Was it a conscious decision taken by both of you to stay clear of gossip and name calling?

BR - I certainly was not interested in scandals and gossip, and if I’d asked him such questions, I wouldn't have been invited back for further sessions. This is about a filmmaker’s work, his mind, his thought process. And I do think that anyone interested in cinema will find this book easy to read. I didn't really pitch this book to someone who’s not interested in the work but only in the gossip.

RM - What and how did you research Mani Ratnam and his films before conversations with him commenced? Did it include watching and re-watching his films trying to pick on nuances and intricacies of his style or was most of it from your personal memories of having watched his films?     

BR - Yes, it involved watching all his films a number of times. There were also memories, as you’ll find in the book.

Excerpted with permission from Penguin Books India from the book 
Conversations with Mani Ratnam by Baradwaj Rangan. Penguin Viking/ Rs. 799,-

RM - Reading the book I came across so many Tamil/Malayalam/Kannada films being mentioned with stories that are simply unheard of even now in the Hindi film industry. Do you think Hindi cinema is still not brave enough to experiment with stories only taking on films to remake once they have proved successful in the South?

BR - I don’t know. There was always a parallel cinema tradition (the precursor to today’s multiplex system) in Hindi where strange stories were attempted. But not so much in the mainstream, as in Tamil and Malayalam. I think it’s also a question of scale. When you’re budgets are low, you can take more risks.

RM - Your chapter on Thiruda Thiruda ends a bit abruptly with Mani Ratnam stating that he doesn't remember a dialogue you based your question on. Were there times during your conversations when you knew you had asked enough questions, pushed him to the limit, and it was time to move on?

BR - There was also a bit of shaping of the questions, so that there would be some dramatic impact even within a session. But yes, you have to know, sometimes, when you have hit a wall and when it’s time to move on.

RM - A lot of film makers complain that critics or even the general cinema going public tries to find meaning in everything on-screen even when there is none. For example you talk about the two versions of the theme song from Nayakam with one being "rawer" and the other "polished" and how it suggests the "eventual refinement of Velu Nayakan". Mani Ratnam is quick to point out that it is more of an "evolved" version of the song and "not necessarily the man who's become sophisticated". Do you think we as an audience are always looking for hidden meanings?

BR - I don’t know if I like the term “hidden,” which makes it look like the film is some kind of treasure hunt filled with a director’s clues. These interpretations come about by a need to resolve something. Let’s take this particular example. The thought process is like this. (a) This version of the song doesn't sound like the other version. (b) It is more polished. (c) What could be the reason? Now to some people, all of this won’t matter at all. They’ll just hear the other version of the song as is, without their brain asking them “why, why, why”? But if your brain is asking you that question, then you try to find an answer that can be supported with evidence from the movie. And I guess the answer I found was that this polished version is perhaps a reflection of the man himself, as he’s grown. Note that I am not saying that this IS the reason. I’m just saying that this is the reason that makes sense to me, and it doesn't matter to me what Mani Ratnam’s intentions were.

RM - I am unaware of the order in which the conversations took place, but reading the book there is a certain fluidity in the latter chapters and Mani Ratnam seems more at ease to the point he is even a bit brash telling you not to use Ram/Sita/Raavan in place of Dev/Ragini/Beera in your questions when discussing the film Raavan. Was it just him eventually getting comfortable with the entire setup?

BR - I think at that point he didn't want to talk about the mythical figures, which he had no control over. He had created only the film’s characters, and so he said let’s stick to those names.

RM - Having read the book, my first inclination is to try and watch some of Mani Ratnam's regional films and then maybe re-watch his Hindi ones, especially Raavan which I did not really like. Would you say this is pretty much the aim behind the book, to try and encourage the audience to appreciate the work of one of India's greatest film makers?

BR - The aim of the book is simply to peek into the mind of a MAINSTREAM filmmaker, to understand how and why he creates characters, how he uses songs, how he strives for “class” even while addressing a “mass” audience. Because far too many people dismiss this mode as a “thoughtless” mode, and as I am a big fan of this style of storytelling, I wanted to explore the thought behind each film. And yes, if you are prompted to pick up his other works, that’s a bonus.

RM - Mani Ratnam talks about not watching his films once they are released. Are you of the same notion when it comes to your writings or do you go back and rethink about what you have written and what would you have done differently given the chance?

BR - Oh I rarely go back and read stuff. Sometimes I know something is turning out well even as I’m writing it, but it rarely comes out the way you want, given all the time pressures, and I don’t like to put myself through the angst of finding a ton of mistakes and inelegant constructions.

RM - What is the one thing that you discovered about Mani Ratnam, either personal or about his films, during the conversations, that you were unaware of beforehand?

BR - I don’t know if it’s just the one thing. There are a lot of little details in his films that were fun to learn about, like the fact that they searched hard for train tracks that curved like a river for the opening of “Thalapathi.” I mean, how many filmmakers would bother about a detail like that?

RM - In the end, please tell us your top 3 Mani Ratnam films and what makes them essential viewing from your point of view?

BR - Instead of top three, let me go with the three Tamil films of his that you must see if you've not seen them. Nayakan, for the way everything came together. Iruvar, for the scope. And Kannathil Muthamittal, for its emotional trajectory. Happy viewing.

Thank you for the interview Mr. Rangan. I would also like to thank Mr. Arun Arora from Penguin India for initiating and helping organize the logistics of the interview.

Ek Tha Tiger (Hindi)

Surprise surprise, I actually enjoyed Ek Tha Tiger, a film that has been criticized by many and yet has managed to break most ticket-sale records. 

Starring Salman Khan and Katrina Kaif the film doesn't bring about anything new, but under the direction of Kabir Khan and production of Aditya Chopra, it presents a cleaner and straightforward film.

Here are my top 10 reasons why you should watch Ek Tha Tiger;

The Story - While most of the recent Salman Khan films are heavy on action, Ek Tha Tiger is more of a romantic film with intermittent fight sequences. It's the story of a RAW agent, played by Salman, and about him falling in love during a mission and the complications that arise when he "listens to his heart rather than his head". The story might seem simple, and it is, but it manages to entertain because it avoids unnecessary drama and sticks to the basics.

Salman Khan - I am no fan of Salman Khan, and there are some movies of his that I enjoy while others that I despise. Here though he somewhat tones down his larger than life persona a little bit and gives a pretty good performance as a RAW agent.

Katrina Kaif - Although her name should be enough of a reason, Katrna Kaif for a change comes across as very comfortable in the film. She's in her element and doesn't seem out of place or struggling. Could this be because of the nature of the film being international or the presence of Salman Khan, I cannot say. (Those of you who are not into Indian cinema gossip, Salman Khan and Katrina Kaif have long been "linked" together as a couple).

Action - There is a fair bit of action in the film but rather than the slow motion one man killing ten people with one punch kind of action there are more realistic fight sequences. There is also a fair bit of running around and chases that happen in a semi-parkour fashion which once again are beautifully shot and executed. Unfortunately there are also sequences like the one on a tram that are so CGI laden that they shout FAKE from the onset.  

Romance - Say what you may, but there is definite chemistry between Salman Khan and Katrina Kaif and it shows on the screen. It's easy to see that both are extremely comfortable with each other and for a change the romance seems real which adds to the charm of the film.

The Direction - Kabir Khan deserves credit for sticking with the story and presenting a sleek film. Ek Tha Tiger does get slow in the middle, but as stated above the romance feels genuine enough that the couple of "forced" song and dance numbers in the film don't irritate much. Moreover, the so called packaging of the entire film is at par with other Yash Chopra productions.   

Locations - The number one rule of a good spy film is that you need to take the audience around the world to pretty locations. Once again the film succeeds rather well in this category as we are whisked away from India to Ireland to Turkey, to even Cuba. The film also incorporates the local culture and sounds into the music numbers beautifully, showing that there really was a lot of planning and thinking that went into the production.

Songs - Hummable and on most top chart lists, the songs lack longevity. Still with only four songs, yes four is 'only' in an Indian film, they are good enough not to drag the film too much.   

Supporting cast - For a change the supporting cast actually supports the main characters and the film. There are no sidekicks which lack a character arc placed in the film for vulgar comedy. There are no subplots taking the film on a tangent. The primary story remains the same, and every supporting member is simply a part of it. Girish Karnad requires no introduction and Ranvir Shorey steps out of his usual comedy routine to give a pretty good performance.   

Roshan Seth - I know he should be part of the support cast reason given above, but his role, which is unfortunately very small, oozes old world charm so much that it was truly a pleasure to see this underrated legend of cinema act in an out-and-out commercial film like Ek Tha Tiger. 

If you haven't seen Ek Tha Tiger, you might be fooled into thinking that it is like other Salman Khan films (Ready, Bodyguard, or Dabaang). It is anything but that. The film is not without faults. There are enough loopholes that I could fit my plump body through them, but for a change the pros in the film are multitudinous compared to the cons.

Rating 3.5/5

Bol Bachchan (Hindi)

For the longest time I have been a huge supporter of Abhishek Bachchan's acting. While most people had given up on him after his first few movies, I actually thought he could carry certain roles really well, especially the ones in multi-starers. For the first time ever did I find him lacking real acting talent as I watched him play the role of Abbas Ali/Abhiskek Bachchan in Bol Bachchan. It might have been the film, or that he was surrounded by actors like Archana Puran Singh and Krishna Abhishek who pretty much duplicated their childish acts that can be seen on those comedy stage shows that run all the time on TV, but Abhishek Bachchan could be seen finding it hard to produce good comedy. What is truly ironical is that during the end credits there is a brief moment when Abhishek talks to the director Rohit Shetty and says "I told you I was made for this role"... I strongly disagree.

Bol Bachchan is a rather poor copy of the classic Hrishikesh Mukherjee film Gol Maal. What Rohit Shetty has done is tried to add his trademark Golmaal-ism to the film in the hope that he would end up with a winner. Unfortunately, that is not the case. For those of you who are confused, as are most of the characters in the film Bol Bachchan, Rohit Shetty has the GolMaal series (nothing to do with the classic film except for the name) to his credit and it can be considered his claim to fame.

Now that I have the school-play acting rant out of my system we can move to the numerous unnecessary subplots and characters that bring absolutely nothing to the story of the film. The comedy is so crass that I often wonder who is it that the film is targeted to. Okay, I do admit there were a couple of instances, in a movie that ran for two hours, where I did laugh out loud, but then again I never said my comic sense is all that great.

The supporting cast does exactly that, try and support a film that is weak from the get go. Ajay Devgan might change his name to Ajay Devgn and also call his production house Devgn FFilms, but it's high time everyone realizes that it takes a lot more than playing with letters to actually succeed. His role is similar to what he has been doing lately, i.e. tough guy who can beat an army of men with one punch. Abhishek Bachchan, thanks to his gay act in Dostana, seems to have found a character that everyone making the film thought was worth repeating, but once again his comic timing is simply atrocious. Asin and Preeti Desai are there to be the damsels in distress and give the two heroes an excuse to showcase their emotional venerability.

As for the direction, it is very Rohit Shetty like. I actually have no problem with the kind of slow-motion fight sequences he usually directs and thankfully they are just about the right amount of fight sequences in the film. The songs seem to be popular right now on radio, but I do not think they are memorable.  

Bol Bachchan was one of the biggest disappointments of 2012. It lacks originality or even class. What it worse is that with Bachchan being in the name of the film Abhishek should have stood out, but the film for me is his worst performance till date.

2/5 Rating.

  

Barfi - The Unsweetened Truth

SPOILER ALERT - Although I am not giving away much, this review, well rant, is meant more for people who have seen the film. I would have loved to give a short write-up on the story but I honestly have no clue where to begin and where to end, somewhat like the story of the film which has no apparent direction.

There I was being dragged to watch Barfi, again. We didn't actually watch the film the first time around because my dear wife got the timings wrong, and I was joyous thinking I had averted watching the film. How wrong was I and here on a somewhat cool Friday morning I found myself driving once again to witness the so called "marvel" that is Barfi.

Barfi has been the talk of the town since its release a week back. Reading some of reviews online, it has been described as "poetry in motion" or was it "poetry in celluloid" and other mushy-mushy romanticized words in conjunction with the word poetry. Well, let me get the facts straight, it's not. It's not poetry of any kind, and if the title of the post didn't tell you, I’m here to categorically state why the film, in my opinion, is overhyped and overrated.

Different Doesn't Make Good - Talking to people about the film, the consensus seems to be that the film is good because it's different, or tries to be. Is that all we look for in a film? Don't we crave and demand a different film every time we step into a theater? Don't we hear filmmakers say that their film is "different" day in and day out, even when it is not? So why should we be satisfied by just the film being different even though it is not a good film on the whole? Also, let me tell you that it is not really a different film. It's a film that has been sugarcoated in sweetness and emotions to seem different. But, the fact remains; I shall not deem the film to be a good film just because it tries to be different.

Here, There, Everywhere - That's the story of Barfi for you. Spanning over three different time periods, the film is full of so much useless acts and information that it is merely a hotchpotch of drama, forced emotions, and comedy. It's a love story, a story about heartbreak, with a kidnapping thrown in between, and a bank heist, and murder and death for extra measure, and writing about it does make it sounds brilliant, but it's not. There's an autistic Priyanka Chopra, a mute and deaf Ranbir Kapoor, and the girl-next-door Illeana D'Cruz along with an array of supporting characters. It's also a story about making the most of your life and enjoying the smallest things in... Oh you know the usual crap! It seems that the story writers and film makers sat down and brainstormed ideas and then in place of sorting them out decided to put in every idea that was on the table.    

Comedy Undone - A huge part of Barfi, the film and the character, is slapstick comedy. We saw quite a bit of it in advertisements and TV spots that have been on for almost a month now. Whatever rest there is just seems to have been copied from the West. It's all Chaplin-esq and I know they give homage to him by showing his cardboard cutout in the start for a second, big whoopee!! Whatever is left is very Roberto Benigni and there is even an act from Singing in the Rain's "Make 'em Laugh". So yes, if there is something original, it's buried way too deep amongst all the copied slapstick acts.

Back to the Future - The other most annoying aspect of the film is that it tries to play havoc with the timeline. The film jumps from one era/year to another and having a poor storyline just adds to the frustration. Let's not even get into the presentation of the film. Okay I will just for a bit. At times it is a first person account while at others it shows people being interviewed, by God knows who, and then there are times when the film runs like a normal everyday film. Did I say there is just too much going on and no apparent direction to it all? YES I DID!!

UnCharacteristic - Now for the characters. I cannot comment much on Priyanka Chopra's portrayal of the autistic Jhilmil, but I will say that she is not at all comfortable in the role. Her act is just that, an act, and while she is obviously trying really hard, it just doesn't come across all that great on the screen.

Ranbir Kapoor's Barfi IS the best part about film, and one of the reasons why I did like his act is that I could not think of anyone else who could have played the character as seamlessly as he did. Although, yes there is one, he did play a somewhat similar part in Ajab Prem Ki Gazab Kahani, but nevertheless he should be commended for experimenting. The same also holds true for Priyanka Chopra.

As for Iliana D'Cruz's Shruti, she gets the most annoying character in the film award. As an actress Iliana has done a wonderful girl-next-door with unnecessary emotional baggage role real well, but the character is just too filmy, for lack of a better word. Here is a woman who is about to get married to her college sweetheart, sort of, and falls in love with our hero Barfi while on vacation for three months in Darjeeling. Then, without any real pressure from her mother played by Rupa Ganguly, she leaves Barfi. Later when Barfi again comes into her life, she falls in love with him, or rather realizes that she always was in love with him, because now he loves Jhilmil. When Jhilmil leaves, Shruti leaves her husband and starts to live with Barfi, and then afterwards ... you get the point. I think the girl just needed a reality check and a nice sit-down scolding so she could make up her mind once and for all and live with it.

Give Me Back My Time - Why do Indian film makers still feel that they need to make a long film for it to be considered a good film? Barfi is a much better film till half time, around the one-and-a-half-hour mark, but the second half is simply torture. I still do not understand the need to make a two-and-a-half-hour film that could have been polished better and presented in a little more than half the time.

Preachy Peachy - Indian cinema is going through a revolution. It seems that the newest trend is to take up social issues or if not that then preach about how we should live our life. Barfi falls in the same bracket. It tries to tell us that love sees no boundaries. You need to feel love. True love is never leaving the one you love. Blah Blah Blah! Give me a good story with a meaning any day and i'll be happy with that, but don't preach things by being overly emotional about them.

The Aunty Make-Up – Yeah! I’m usually the last person to crib about make-up, not saying it’s not important, but when the entire primary cast is made to look old, all I wanted to shout was “Your wig, your wig is just too blatantly obvious”.  

The Good Stuff – Barfi is not all bad. It has its good moments too. What does stand out is the cinematography and the editing which is outstanding and the only saving grace of the entire film. At least visually the film kept me interested.

The Luck of The Seats - Lastly, my rant takes on a more personal aspect. This has nothing to do with the film really, but more with the people who were sitting behind me. Yes, the two girls who probably told their parents that they were going to college and ended up being the bane of my movie watching experience. I think these two nincompoops took the opportunity of the film being somewhat of a silent-film as an indication that they could give each other running commentary of what was happening on the screen. "Look he's wearing a green sweater", "Look he fell down", "Oh no how is he going to hear when he is deaf"... WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP!

...and so shall I

Rating 2/5

          

Competition - WIN! One of Two Film Books

Continuing with my quest to have more competitions on my blogs I am giving away two film related books to two different followers; 

First up is Bollywood's Top 20 Superstars of Indian Cinema (without the mentioned MP3 CD) which covers, as the title suggests, stories about the people who have made Indian Cinema what it is today. 

The second book is titled Seema and Other Stories and has been written by Gulzar who is a person synonymous with Indian Cinema. 

In order to win the books all you have to do is ANY ONE of the following;

Follow my blog by clicking the Join This Site button (Bottom Right Sidebar under Followers)

Follow TICKER on Facebook by clicking and liking HERE

Then simply EMAIL ME (clicking on the link will automatically open your mail client with my email in it or type in tickertalksfilm (at) gmail (dot) com) with SUBEJCT - Competition # 3, and which of the two Follows you have performed (Do let me know the ID you have used). If you already follow me, simply email me the ID. 

Now for some other T&Cs

This competition is valid in India only. 
The prizes will be delivered to an Indian address.

Incomplete entries will not be considered.

The final decision lies with the blog owner.

No cash alternatives will be given.

The prize will be sent via post and we are not accountable for late/lost/damaged/stolen prizes.

The prize cannot be substituted or refunded.

Only one entry per household will be considered.

The Competition ends on Sunday, 22nd September2012 at 11:59 PM

Ticker Talks Film has the right to change/alter/cancel the above competition without notice.

The Winner will be contacted directly via email. 

Kahaani (Hindi)

The reason why I enjoyed and like Kahaani is because the film is primarily a return to clean storytelling. It doesn't deviate from the story too much into unnecessary subplots thankfully avoiding "item numbers" and other such atrocities that have become a common part of Indian films.

Kahaani is the story of a pregnant woman played by Vidya Balan visiting Kolkata on her own in search of her missing husband, who, and this is where the story forms its basis, is also being hunted by the Indian government and police for being a terrorist involved in a bombing. The story, which does have a few loop-holes, works well as a detective piece and having a pregnant woman, gives it an unconventional primary character. Vidya Balan plays the role so convincingly that there were reports around the time of the release of the film that she might actually have been pregnant during the shoot. The reports turned out to be false.

The weakest aspect of the entire film is the opening sequence. What this sequence does is implant doubts in the minds of the audience about the story that follows and that in turn takes away from the deductions happening in the film. Nevertheless, the supporting characters played by Parambrata Chatterjee, Nawazuddin Siddiqui, Ritabrata Mukherjee, and Saswata Chatterjee are so good and so into their respective roles that its hard not to enjoy their characters perform and add their own dimension to the storyline.        

The director Sujoy Ghosh makes the most of the vibrant city that is Kolkata making events like the Durga Puja intrinsic to the story and in fact goes to the extent of even making the music by Vihal-Shekar relate to the region.

Kahaani is simplistic storytelling at its best. Staying away from the run-of-the-mill commercial aspects of Indian cinema it manages to attract the thinking audience into enjoying the film all the while demonstrating the wide variety of talent available to Indian cinema in the form of actors, locations, and filmmakers.

Rating 4/5  

Legends of Indian Cinema – Gulzar

Most Indian cinema enthusiasts would be aware of Gulzar. He's one of the few multi-talented legends of Indian cinema who might not have a larger than life persona, but nevertheless he has been an integral part of the world’s largest film industry. His followers might not be as vocal as fans of Shah Rukh Khan, but they are there, listening to his musical words at home over a nightcap, or quietly introspecting after reading his poetry in the early hours of morning. 

A lyricist, dialogue writer, scriptwriter, producer, director, and storyteller par excellence, it is no surprise that he has been honored with numerous awards over the years including the Padma Bhushan in 2004.

My knowledge about Gulzar has always been limited. For instance, it was only while researching this write-up did I realize his real name is Sampooran Singh Kalra. Furthermore, although over numerous occasions I've witnessed his writings, but it has always been through the medium of cinema, that is through film songs or stories.

So, when Penguin Spring Fever 2012 culminated with a book talk featuring Gulzar, I was there eager to experience his poetry in person. Wearing his trademark white kurta-pajama with shinning gold juttis, Gulzar came across as a rather humbling personality. There was no air of superiority in him, certainly not one that a star is expected to have. It was an evening filled with words, words that made all of us laugh, think, emote, and lastly words that left a mark in our own personalities. 

A few moments from the evening