217. The Prowler

217. (21 Sep) The Prowler (1981, Joseph Zito) 39



For all its gore and brutality, The Prowler fails to be genuinely scary. Too slow for its own good and lacking atmosphere, this slasher flick barely even has enough of a premise to sustain itself. (In an age where practically everything gets a sequel or remake, it's unsurprising no one's bothered to redo this.) Tom Savini's makeup is the clear highlight.

Review: Thief (1981)

Caan is a jewel thief in Mann's classic.

Directed by Michael Mann
Produced by Jerry Bruckheimer and Ronnie Caan
Written by Michael Mann (adaptation); Frank Hohimer (book)
Starring James Caan, Tuesday Weld, Robert Prosky, Willie Nelson, and James Belushi

****

If you've seen Drive, this film will feel somewhat familiar to you. James Caan stars as Frank, a jewel thief who plays by his own rules and keeps things strictly business. Having served a ten-year prison sentence, he wants to put his life together. Frank sees a wife and kids in his future, and he wants to get out of the business after one last score. But this score comes from a mafia boss (Prosky) that Frank agrees to work for, supposedly for as many jobs as he wants. In this case, one is enough. As they plan his first (and last) job, the boss takes great care of Frank, even helping him and his new wife (Weld) adopt a child. The time comes, and the job is completed smoothly. When Frank comes to collect his money, the boss gives him part of it and insists on a partnership. Frank does things his own way, and he just wants the money and to get out. If he wants to end this, he'll have to take on the boss and his henchmen to get his money and his life back.

Given the fact that they're both adapted from separate novels by different authors, it's amazing how much Drive borrows from this cult classic. They both feature a cunning, businesslike criminal going against the mafia. Of course, this similarity does not detract from the greatness of either film. Frank is a stubborn hothead with sense, but his ideal future drives his thinking. He wants to live his way, so he doesn't take anything from anybody. Needless to say, Caan is perfect for the part, as he famously proved as the hotheaded Sonny in The Godfather. He's tough, and he can snap when backed into a corner, like Ryan Gosling's "Driver". The film all comes together under director and screenwriter Michael Mann, who is in his element here, with the material rising to the level of a great crime film. Meanwhile, Tangerine Dream's electronic score is a fine addition, providing the film with an amped up slickness. Everything's under control as Caan fights for his own, and it's a thrill watching him do so. This underseen classic is pulp entertainment at its best, and seeking it out would be a wise decision.

Oscar Tally: None

Escape from New York (1981) vs. The Thing (1982)

I finally saw these classic John Carpenter films, both starring Kurt Russell. See who wins after the cut. (SPOILERS)

Escape from New York

The rap sheet.

Escape from New York has a 83% rating on RottenTomatoes.com. It received 4 Saturn Award nominations, including Best Science Fiction Film and Best Director. The Thing has a 79% rating on RottenTomatoes.com. It received 2 Saturn Award nominations, including Best Science Fiction Film.

Winner: Escape from New York

The setup.

In The Thing, a group of scientists is exposed to a creature that replicates the makeup of its victims, leaving them to determine who has been attacked and who is untouched, so that they can destroy it. In Escape from New York, an imprisoned war hero named Snake Plissken is charged with rescuing the U.S. President, along with the valuable contents of his briefcase, from the Manhattan Island prison, in exchange for a full pardon.

Winner: The Thing

The Thing

The execution.

Both films are dark, grim thrill rides. Escape from New York has prisoners battling each other with guns, knives, bats, and fists in a massive prison city. The Thing has scientists using flame throwers and explosives against the various forms of the creature.

Winner: The Thing

The ending.

In The Thing, the last two survivors sit in the cold as their camp burns down around them, waiting for something, anything, to happen. Were they rescued, or did they meet a much worse fate? In Escape from New York, Plissken walks off into the night after he destroys a tape with nuclear weapons information. The tape is gone, but has the day been won?

Winner: The Thing

The wild card.

Escape from New York has Ernest Borgnine and Harry Dean Stanton, and it also has a brilliant electronic score written by Carpenter himself. The Thing features a haunting (Razzie-nominated?!) score by Ennio Morricone, and it even has Keith David and Wilford Brimley in the cast.

Winner: Escape from New York

The Thing

Winner: The Thing beats Escape from New York 3-2

Ratings: Escape from New York - ***1/2, The Thing - ****

155. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains

155. (16 Aug) Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains (1981, Lou Adler) 66



Lou Adler confidently straddles the line between droll and dreary. Despite the on-screen zaniness, there's an authenticity in every run-down, seedy setting. The harshness of their surroundings translates to the cast as actors are either sharp-featured or, in the case of future stars Diane Lane and Laura Dern, heavily and unflatteringly made up. Lane is astonishingly self-confident, believably becoming a local celebrity with vague and vitriloic rants. Commentaries on the disconnect between talent and fame or how easily it is to be perceived as a sell-out seem eerily ahead of their time in the age of Youtube and countless singing competitions.

098. The Great Muppet Caper

098. (24 Mar) The Great Muppet Caper (1981, Jim Henson) 45



It feels like the Muppets are going through the motions here. The exposition, gags, and musical numbers play out mechanically. There's an occasionally cute moment or two, but Piggy's mistaken identity plot and Kermit and Fozzie playing twins are lame main plots. The high point is the Oscar-nominated "The First Time It Happens," which still isn't amazing, but it's such a lavish and absurd routine it's easy to give into.