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022. The Promise

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

022. (21 Jan) The Promise (1979, Gilbert Cates) 39



I've seen some convoluted, absurd melodrama plots, but The Promise really takes the cake. After a car accident, Kathleen Quinlan accepts evil Beatrice Straight's offer to get facial reconstruction surgery in lieu of ever seeing Straight's son, the dashing as ever Stephen Collins, again. Predictably enough, Straight tells Collins the love of his life is dead. He conveniently runs into her post-surgery, unable to recognize her with a new haircut apparently, spending much of the film trying too woo her while she's understandably annoyed that she has no idea who she is. It's utterly bizarre, and I'm skipping over most of the details just because it's far more complicated than that.

Far too focused on its plot, this is never a convincing romance. Without our being able to root for characters that are dopey and unlikable, it's hard to care about their titular promise to love each other forever. The finale is predictably sweet, but still surreal since Straight never gets her comeuppance for her villainy. It's classic camp, to be sure, but a puzzlement that the script ever got produced. The Oscar-nominated theme song fits the film's embarrassingly schmaltzy tone.

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