TV Deja Vu: Five Most Overplayed Movies on Television

Oh Television, there you go again. I've just turned you on, figured I'd wander about and see what you've got to offer, and low and behold... a movie! On television! Ingenious. Unfortunately this movie is one I've seen on your channel before. In fact, I'm quite sure I saw it on there last night. And... you know what, it was on there last weekend as well. Wait a damned second, it was on the weekend before too! Just what the hell are you getting at? Can you not toss in a bit of variety, spin the cauldron a bit and give us a breather? Honestly, just how many times can you show the same movie on your channel before you rile up a revolt? Endlessly? You mean you've actually had marathons where you've shown the same movie - or group of movies - over and over again in a row all weekend long? Dear god, do you have that great a turnover in terms of viewers to justify it?

Dear dear, I believe I can speak on behalf of a great majority of us and say "please, spice it up a little." It's beginning to feel like a marriage that's gone on the rocks and you're still buying pretty pebbles in the hope of being cute. It's not. And if you're not careful, we're going to go mental and stone you - and not in a Jim Breuer sort of way either.

Note: Before people suffer spontaneous combustion at the mere suggestion of some of these movies - this post is in no way a comment on the quality of the films involved... well, in some cases it isn't

GLADIATOR

I swear, there are days when I feel as if I've seen more 5 minute intervals of Gladiator than I have seen collective of all the other movies I own. TNT seems completely incapable of hosting a movie marathon without playing it. And the worst part - they cut out many of the best bits! Then, just for safe measure, drag the already lengthy tale out a bit by pushing the 3 1/2 to 4 hour mark with commercials. "My name is Maximus You Could Save Fifteen Percent Or More On Your Car Insurance By Switching to Decimus Tum Tum Tum Tum Tummmmmms Meridius!"

CORKY ROMANO

Seriously Comedy Central? This is one of your 'go to' films for the mid-afternoon time slot? I know you're working with a bit of a tight collection of films, but even this is bad. In fact I might just argue that showing this film once on your channel is more than anyone need ever be exposed to. Let alone hundreds of times over the past few years. Were it only possible to actually show a movie a negative number of times, this might actually be worthwhile. Still, I suppose if your only other alternative is an onslaught of direct to DVD American Pie spin-offs... this may suffice.

TRUE LIES

There comes a time in everyone's life where they question their place in the universe. Where they begin to wonder if some higher power is sending them a sign down from above. For some this is a moment of awakening; a calling guiding them along the path. For me, this was a sign I could not excuse. You see, for three straight days I turned on the television at completely different times. For three straight days the first thing to appear on my screen was Jamie Lee Curtis sexy dancing for Arnie. Three days, three different times, the same scene always popped up first. And it was then that I knew the sign the universe was sending me: "Univarn, you seriously have to get out of the house more!"

U.S. MARSHALS

I'll try and keep this one short and sweet - the only reason this film is on the list and not its predecessor (which is equally overplayed) is this: the plot for this movie is sheer bonkers. So much so even Leslie Nielsen couldn't find a script to spoof it. Oh, and they're killing off of Tom Wood's character also ended up killing his career. For shame.

ARMAGEDDON

You could easily read here *Any Movie That Has Ever Played on the FX Channel* and I would argue Armageddon is their 'Gladiator.' I've admitted before I have a high nostalgia factor when it comes to this film, but even I can only handle so much cheese in any given day. Especially when it's Gouda piled on the backdrop of Steven Tyler wailing away about lip kissing, eye closing, and sleep planet saving before my idealized existence is destroyed in a sea of Owen Wilson and Ben Affleck super hamming it up with Peter Storemare their grandmaster. Then again, there is William Fichtner... touche.



So, there you have my list of the five most overplayed movies on television. Agree/disagree? Perhaps there's a movie whose omnipresence on television gets under your skin?