Can Critics Ever Win?

Allow me to paint a scene for you. It's 11:15 pm on a Friday night. I'm waiting in the hallway at my local multiplex as my fellow theatrical attendees take care of some 'personal business.' I had just spent the last two hours being quite swept away by the animated western Rango, and was in a rather chipper and cordial condition. As I wait, I bide the time by opening the door for those who need opening and smile and nod at anyone who just so happens to make eye contact with me. Across the hall, the only other movie still rolling in the place has just wrapped up and out of it pours a rather different crowd from the one I shared my Rangonian experience with. They're scruffier, more growl, chub, and of the older persuasion. They have just spent their last two hours delving into the world of Snyder and Sucker Punch. Now, my immediate lack of desire to see the film, combined with my naturally inquisitiveness inspired in my the desire to sneak a listen at what the prevailing thoughts of your more common moviegoer would be.

There was a lot of variety, a lot of 'did we like it?' sort of questions enforcing groupthink upon the coalition cinema. As such it took me a long time to get some honest opinions from the boisterous crowd. Alas, as the collective started to thin out into their relative subgroups it became quite a bit easier to attain the following three general opinions on Suck Punch:

1. Look at the shiny shiny
2. The story definitely had its problems.

Now before I go on, I should point out that not everyone agreed with the prior two. Lots of desertion and disagreement varying from those of various age and personality. However, the following third observation I found quite amusing. EVERY group had at least one person (in some cases multiple) agreed on it:

3. The critics were wrong.

Sure, Sucker Punch wasn't the greatest movie of all time - You know, because every single review ever written about it made that exact observation - but it was entertaining, and that's all they want. Or so they kept telling themselves. Had any of these people actually read a review of the movie? To be quite honest, I'd be willing to bet not many, if any had. Why do I say this? Simply because almost all the complaints they had with the film were exactly what critics had said. Of course, that doesn't change the fact that critics are in fact critics and therefore instantly wrong.

Critics seem to have this stigma of only containing these imaginary four fat white guys who live in their parent's basement and watch nothing but independent films all day. You know, after all only 5 of the top 10 grossing movies last week had a fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Can't believe those horrible critics looked down on gems like Mars Needs Moms, Beastly, and Red Riding Hood. They are so totally out of touch! I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting to see, or even enjoying those movies. But don't be so damned surprised that critics, who probably have to sit through 90times the amount of god awful movies that you do, don't exactly salivate at every movie you see.

Besides, if you don't feel like critics are doing a good job representing your segment of society, get off your fat ass and represent yourself. You have hands, a voice, mind, and if you toss in a computer with a passable internet connected the tools to be a critic yourself. Though don't be too surprised to find that the more you branch out, the less significant the films to which inspired your cause seem to become.