027. Class

027. (23 Jan) Class (1983, Lewis John Carlino) 47



As odd an '80s sexy comedy as it is inappropriate. Jacqueline Bisset is technically a child rapist here, but the film is played as a male fantasy for so long that the fact is disregarded completely. There are some amusing scenarios, like a hazing bit at the film's start, but the melodrama is decidedly more entertaining. The twist involving Rob Lowe and Bisset's connection is priceless, giving the film a third act complication it sorely needs. Too bad the film doesn't bother to resolve anything.

020. Wild Orchid

020. (21 Jan) Wild Orchid (1989, Zalman King) 45



Cinematic smut doesn't get much more shameless or gratifying. Though the film irresponsibly asserts that only the decadence of Rio de Janeiro can sexually liberate this poor Midwestern girl, it undeniably makes an impact with its beautiful photography of the colorful locales and its erotic imagery. There's more than a little misogyny in the film's insistence that women are absolutely begging for it, but in turn Mickey Rourke personifies the male beast. This loses some steam after Carré Otis goes to bed with Bruce Greenwood, completing her sexual journey roughly an hour into the film. Fortunately, its prurience remains as Rourke has his own issues to work out. The oddest bit here is how exploitative the film is of everyone's body but Rourke's, barely showing his torso in the film's famous final sex scene.

202. Jesus

202. (14 Sep) Jesus (1999, Roger Young) 45



I know he's the son of God and everything, but could Jesus really have an American accent when he was raised by Prussian Armin Mueller-Stahl and English Jacqueline Bisset? Distracting accents immediately set the tone for one of the oddest tales of the Christ. What makes this compelling though is the portrayal of a very human Jesus. While most bold adaptations make use of Christ's volatile behavior in the scripture, this takes a far more light-hearted approach. Still, considering how dramatic the gospels are, there's no need to manufacture romantic drama or daddy issues for Christ. As peculiar is how no nuance is afforded to Judas or Pontius Pilate, who are shown only as uncomplicated villains. This ends on a whimper since the crucifixion and resurrection are just blips in this three-hour epic.

The best performance by far is Gary Oldman's Pontius Pilate. Jeremy Sisto's Jesus and Debra Messing's Mary Magdalene are amusingly bad.