Race 2 (2013)

Genre: Action/Drama/Crime/Romance

Starring: Saif Ali Khan, John Abraham, Deepika Padukone, Jacqueline Fernandes, Ameesha Patel, Anil Kapoor

Bollywood would never die without giving up on trying to make a typical Hollywood movie. What does a typical Hollywood movie comprise of? Fast cars, hot girls, loads of action, high-tech gadgets and a plot that has little relevance or sense. Race 2 has effectively done each and every one of those in the worst possible manner ever. When you have playing cards that have 'thermal sensors that tell reflect on Deepika's sunglasses what cards her opponent has' and sports cars with 'parachutes that automatically trigger if it senses a freefall', you immediately know what an amazing movie this is going to be. The original movie had cars involved in it to a higher degree but it seems that in the second movie the makers were far too involved in showing Deepika and Jacquelines body to bother about the vehicles. Armaan Malik (Abraham) is a million-dollar tycoon who has made his money doing shady dealings. Ranvir Singh (Khan) is a con artist who has an idea for which he needs funding and who better to approach than Armaan himself. Armaan buys the idea not knowing that Ravnir's main motive is to dis-repute him and take revenge from him for murdering his girlfriend. The movie is a joke for the word 'movie' and is a disgraceful attempt at trying to be cool. From gadgets that are simply unimaginative and outlandish, gripping action that was missing throughout and a plot line that was far too twisted to be realistic, the movie is a complete wash. The only reason to watch would be the long-legged women but I am sure that cannot be the sole incentive to ever watch this movie. Avoid!

Thumbs up: Good loads of eye candy

Thumbs down: Horrible everything else

Rating: 4.2/10

Dabangg 2 (2012)

Genre: Comedy/Crime/Action/Drama/Romance

Starring: Salman Khan, Arbaaz Khan, Sonakshi Sinha, Prakash Raj, Vinod Khanna

When a thousand bullets come buzzing towards him, he can dodge everyone of them; when a hundred able-bodied men come charging at him he can put them all on the ground; when his car jumps 30 feet in the air and spins 20 times before crash landing into a pile of junk, he can walk out without a bruise. Ladies and gentleman, I bring to you for the second time, Chulbul Pandey (Khan). The suave and charismatic police inspector is back and this time he has a bigger jurisdiction to handle, the city of Kanpur. A city whose streets are filled with filth, crime and thugs, Chulbul starts cleaning up and when your cleaning such a huge city, there will be people who are not going to like it. Bachcha Bhaiya (Raj) is the local crime lord who is harbouring political ambitions which he intends to win by rigging the elections and thus using this new power to further his interests. But this can never happen if Chulbul Pandey has decided that he will stop Bachcha Bhaiya from achieving this and swears to get rid of him from Kanpur for good. The first movie was epic in its own way, just like how every Salman Khan movie ends up being. However, the second part lacked the humour and stupidity that the earlier movie had that made it interesting. What this movie also doesn't have is a story and thus its just a good guy trying to get rid of the bad one and that's it. Its just too straight forward, not very exciting, not very entertaining and simply, boring.

Thumbs up: Salman Khan. He is probably the only person in the world who can pull off such a role and such a movie

Thumbs down: Far off from part one and seriously lacks the entertainment value.

Rating: 4.9/10

The Mark (2012)

Genre: Action/Adventure/Crime/Fantasy

Starring: Craig Sheffer, Eric Roberts, Sonia Couling, Gary Daniels

A security guard of a biometrics facility gets implanted with a unique device with the power to change the world. Chad Turner (Sheffer) must now travel to Berlin from Bangkok along with the chip in order to bring it to safety. In order to ensure Chad's safety, Cooper (Roberts) the head of security of Avanti, the maker of the chip, travels with him from Bangkok to Berlin. A rival company wants to get hold of this chip and hires a hitman, Joseph Pike (Daniels) to trace down the chip and bring it back at any cost. Joseph learns that the chip is traveling with Chad and decides to hijack the aircraft and obtain it.Coming from a Christian movie making company, the movie has a lot of Christianity infused into it and most of it seems to be done rather forcefully. Nowhere in the movie is the consequences of the chip explained, the action is horrible and plot is overall very boring. The unwanted religious preachings that seem to have no connect with the actual movie does not actually add any value to it. The makers seemed to want to drive a point and somehow that objective got built around an action movie storyline. Highly avoidable and only to be watched by the religious.

Thumbs up: Nah

Thumbs down: Lame action, boring, forced Christianity preachings every now and then

Rating: 2.0/10

Dance Flick (2009)

Genre: Spoof/Comedy/Drama/Musical

Starring: Shoshana Bush, Damon Wayans Jr., Essence Atkins, Affion Crockett. Shawn Wayans, Amy Sedaris

Spoof movies are usually the kinds that you would want to watch once and forget for the rest of your lives. A sudden out-break of dance movies (High School Musical, Step Up, You Got Served) has prompted this hilarious break dance that intends to laugh at every other musical movie there is. Megan White (Bush) is an amateur ballet dancer who moves to the inner-city from the suburbs. She finds it difficult to adjust to the new life and has a lot of misadventures. She befriends Charity Uncles (Atkins) who is a single mother with very bad parenting skills. Her boyfriend and the father of the child, Baby Daddy (Wayans) has abandoned the child and spends very little time with him. Thomas Uncles (Wayans Jr.) the younger brother of Charity, is stuck for a street gang lord to whom he owns a lot of money. Thomas and Megan fall in love with each other and Thomas intends to teach her how to dance on the street and forget about ballet. This review itself might sound outrageous but that is because the movie is just like it. Stupid humour and a plot that can harldy be called a plot forms the basis and foundation of this movie. If you have seen one spoof movie, you have seen them all. It would be good fun for those who have seen the movies in question and can do with a bit of humour, but everyone else might feel a bit out of place.

Thumbs up: Good spoof

Thumbs down: Random scenes that are only created to spoof some movie

Rating: 5.0/10

Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow (1994)

Genre: Comedy/Crime/Adventure/Action/Drama

Starring: Michael Winslow, David Graf, Leslie Easterbrook, George Gaynes, G. W. Bailey, Charlie Schlatter, Christopher Lee, Ron Perlman, Claire Forlani, Greg Berger

With every passing movie, it seems as if this series is just getting even worse. And its not just me, but the facts support this very idea too. The eight movie of the infamous series was the least performing one and the only to not make $1 million. The story is probably a case study of how to make a ridiculously outrageous movie that makes very little sense and can be a very very big bore. An infamous Russian mafia, Konstantine Konali ((Perlman) has developed The Game, a video game which the entire world is addicted to. There is intelligence that he now wishes to modify the game which when played would extract all data from the individuals computer. Konali intends to ensure the game reaches US government computers and steal all the governments secrets. In order to tackle this situation, a team of officers from Comdt. Eric Lassards (Gaynes) academy are being sent to Moscow to apprehend Konali. From what you have now read, it is quite understandable at the tacky nature of the story and the even worse humour and bad plot execution. The movie does not have any bit of 'academy' left in it and is simply the story of a bunch of police officers and their supposedly hilarious adventure. A complete bore and a pure waste of time.

Thumbs up: (blank)

Thumbs down: Story, acting, humour, lack of entertainment, far too unrealistic.... a long list

Rating: 1.8/10

DOA: Dead or Alive (2006)

Genre: Action/Adventure/Science-fiction

Starring: Devon Aoki, Natassa Malthe, Jaime Presley, Holly Valance, Matthew Marsden, Sarah Carter, Kane Kosugi, Eric Roberts, Steve Howey, Collin Chou

Princess Kasumi (Aoki) is the leader of an Asian clan whose brother has been missing since a long time. Hayabusa (Kosugi) her brothers' best friend has not been able to find his body, leading Kasumi to believe that he might still be alive. She escapes from the temple and gets labelled as an outcast by her clan, forcing Ayane (Malthe), a ninja, to chase her and kill her. Tina (Presley) is a professional wrestler, looking at doing something more 'real' with her life. Christie (Valance) is a master thief and along with Tina and Kasumi, the three are invited to the DOA tournament. The tournament features a group of people skilled in their own form of fighting and combat to battle it out to win $10 million. Kasumi's brother, Hayate (Chou) had abandoned the clan to take place in the previous tournament and Kasumi believes he is still alive. DOA is headed by Dr. Victor Donovan (Roberts) whose secret plan is to inject each of the participants with nano-bots that would track and record each of the participants combat moves. The moment the movie takes off, you quickly realise that you have booked yourself for 90 mins of atrocity. The movie aims to showcase an overdose of bikini-clad woman doing kung-fu with each other for most of the movie. Although each of the participants are supposed to 'excel in their own field of combat' everyone seems to have the exact same martial arts technique for fighting. Don't waste your time on this, even the bikini-clad women are not all that worth it.

Thumbs up: You can give credit to the action, but it gets extremely repetitive

Thumbs down: Everything else that isn't covered in 'thumbs up'

Rating: 4.9/10

18 Year Old Virgin (2009)

Genre: Comedy/Drama/Romance

Starring: Olivia Alaina May, Lauren Walsh, Todd Leigh, Dustin Harnish, Seth Cassell

A just-turned-18 teenage girl, Katie Powers (Alaina May) wants to lose her virginity. Her best friend Rose (Walsh) decides to take her to a graduation party where she intends to sleep with Ryan (Harnish) a boy she has a crush on who once kissed her in the 6th grade. Ryan refuses to sleep with virgins due a bad experience in the past and hence she decides to first lose her virginity to someone else and then approach Ryan. The rest of the movie is a long and boring drab with Katie trying to get any man she can find to sleep with her, including even her good friend Spencer (Leigh). One expects a movie with this story to be remotely entertaining but it sadly isn't. Humour is almost non-existent which makes the movie a very long and tedious watch even though it doesn't have a very long run-time. The movie believes that loads of skimpy-clad, young and attractive women is enough reason for you to watch the movie but that sadly isn't the case. If its American Pie or Van Wilder that you are looking for, you would be disappointed. If its clothes-less woman you aspire, its spot on.

Thumbs up: LMAO!

Thumbs down: Bad performances, non-existent humour and the hugely boring story

Rating: 3.2/10

Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989)

Genre: Comedy/Drama/Crime/Mystery/Action

Starring: Kenneth Mars, G.W. Bailey, Lance Kinsey, George Gaynes, Bubba Smith, David Graf, Michael Winslow, Marion Ramsey, Leslie Easterbrook, Bruce Mahler, Matt McCoy, George Robertson

The sixth movie of the Police Academy series promises to be just like the previous versions, insensible. The series initially started out as depicting misfits who are shunned by society and intend on becoming police officers and hence join the Police Academy. The second movie maintained the 'academy tradition' but all movies subsequently followed the exact same plot line. A crime problem occurs in the city, Captain Harris (Bailey) wants a quick promotion and hence tries to prevent Commondant Lassard (Gaynes) and his team to crack the case and wants to hog all the lime light for himself. In the end he is the one who gets outdone whilst the others are congratulated. Been there, done that; far too many times. The movie can be far better only if the humour was improved and there was a healthy story to supplement that humour. Michael Winslow and his mimicry is astounding and the only piece of comedy is provided from Bailey and Kinsey. It's a nonsensical waste of valuable time, effort and money and one should confine themselves only to the first two movies and not dare venture beyond it.

Thumbs up: Michael Winslow's voices

Thumbs down: Bad plot, horrible performances, repetitive story compared to the previous movies

Rating: 4.5/10

Housefull 2 (2012)

Genre: Comedy/Drama/Romance

Starring: Akshay Kumar, Ritesh Deshmukh, Shreyas Talpade, John Abraham, Zarine Khan, Shazahn Padamsee, Jacqulien Fernandes, Asin, Randhir Kapoor, Rishi Kapoor, Johnny Lever, Chunky Pandey, Mithun Chakraborty, Boman Irani

Bollywood comedy needs a serious lecture from Charles Darwin. It seems the theory of evolution applies to each and every entity on this planet except for the Indian film industry and especially its comedy genre. Two estranged brothers, Mr. Chintu Kapoor (Rishi Kapoor) and Daboo Kapoor (Randhir Kapoor) are looking at getting their respective daughters married. They would only get them married into prestigious households demand rich son-in-laws, perhaps maybe even the son of JD (Chakraborty). Jai's (Talpade) father is thrown out of the house by Chintu when he learns they dont live up to their standards and Jai vows revenge. Enter Jolly (Deshmukh) the son of JD who is good friends with Jai and agrees to help him get his revenge. They hire Max (Abraham) to go to Chintu as JD's son and marry their daughter Henna (Asin) and dump her before the wedding. Max ends up going to Daboo instead of Chintu and meets his daughter Bobby (Fernandes) hence the duo now hire Sunny (Kumar) to get the real job done. Jai wishes to marry his sweetheart Parul (Padamsee) and Jolly wants to marry JLo (Khan) but is too scared to talk about his true love in front of his father. The movie is a complete mess of characters with all the male leads constantly switching roles and partners to make, what could possibly be, the worlds biggest botched movie. As all Indian comedy movies, this one too thrives on a complicated and confused story, bad humour, bikini babes and too many stars. It really isn't any different from any other Hindi comedy movie that you might come across and does not even attempt at being so. Charles Darwin, I call thee to come down here and give a lesson or two to these mindless mortals!

Thumbs up: Zarine Khan looks hot, Shazahn Padamsee is hot, Asin sizzles and Jacquelin is every mans wet dream

Thumbs down: Hopeless plot, bad humour worse acting

Rating: 4.9/10

Barb Wire (1996)

Genre: Action/Crime/Drama/Science-fiction

Starring: Pamela Anderson, Victoria Rowell, Steve Railsback, Temuera Morrison, Jack Noseworthy

Have you watched a movie with the lead performer being someone who should never actually be in that role? Like an industrialist, a sports persons wife, an ex-politician or in this case, a porn star. The year 2017, the entire United States is engulfed in a civil war with Steel Harbour being the only free city in the country. Barb Wire (Anderson) is a mercenary and the owner of a bar in Steel Harbor. She struts her stuff, shows too much cleavage, has her legs exposed at all times, flaunts a 17" waist and can perform insane stunts wearing skin-hugging tight leather outfits. And there is something about a pair of German contraband contact lenses that can allow anyone wearing them to pass through a retina scan without any problem and a whole bunch of people trying to get their hands on it for a variety of reasons. There is too much skin show, in case I forgot to mention that, with everyone speaking in loud whispers with a thick, seductive and I'm-too-sexy touch added to it, especially Miss Anderson. The movie is a complete washout and although I would like to say that the movie is good enough at least to ogle at Pam, that too does not quite happen. The plot is badly glued together, randomly evolving and does not quite get to you even after pausing the movie and thinking about it for half a day. Is there enough already to suggest this is avoidable?

Thumbs up: HAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHA

Thumbs down: I'll write a blog post about that

Rating: 3.6/10

Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach (1988)

Genre: Comedy/Crime/Action/Adventure

Starring: Bubba Smith, David Graf, Michael Winslow, Leslie Easterbrook, Marion Ramsey, Janet Jones, Lance Kinsey, Matt McCoy, G.W. Bailey, George Gaynes, Rene Auberjonois

The fifth installment of the Police Academy series shifts base to the exotic Miami when Comdt. Eris Lassard (Gaynes) gets kidnapped. Captain Harris (Bailey) is as usual trying to overthrow Lassard and take over his position and has learnt that Lassard has crossed the state mandatory retirement age and is overdue to vacate the post. Lassard is always being awarded the police officer of the decade at Miami and he invites his trusted officers to accompany him for the ceremony. Tony (Auberjonois) is a thief who recently stole some diamonds but accidentally managed to switch bags with Lassard at the airport. With his diamonds with Lassard, he decides to kidnap him to extract them with Lassard's team hot on his trail. The movies in this series were never really high on entertainment with average humour, predictable plot and weak acting. A lot of the actors and characters were subject to shuffling, with the latest being Steve Guttenberg who played the lead role of Carrey Mahoney and was absent from this movie. An avoidable movie only to watch if you really need something light and simplistic.

Thumbs up: Nothing exceptional

Thumbs down: Humour and acting

Rating: 4.6/10

Ra.One (2011)

Genre: Action/Drama/Romance/Science-fiction

Starring: Shah Rukh Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Arjun Rampal, Tom Wu, Armaan Verma, Shahana Goswami

Time and again I have said that Bollywood lacks recipe and in spite of rapid evolutions in movie-making, ideas still seemed to be ripped out of Hollywood blockbusters. Shekhar Subramanium (Khan) is a game developer for Barron Industries but does not appear to be cool enough in the eyes of his son Prateek (Verma). In a bid to get into his sons good books and make an outstanding video game, Shekhar develops the ultimate super villain, Ra.One (Rampal & Wu). Ra.One is equipped with artificial intelligence where he quickly learns the moves of his players and gets smarter and hence tougher. Things start going haywire and Ra.One from the game comes to life and wrecks havoc. He is out to hunt for Prateek whom he has learnt is his most formidable opponent and decides to hunt him down. In order to stop Ra.One, the good guy, G.One (Khan) is brought to life and to bring an end to this mutiny. Shekhar's wife Sonia (Kapoor) and Prateek are in danger of being killed and it is up to G.One to save them. The movie is a rip-off of Hollywood's best superheroes all in one. Ra.One and G.One share the same suit design as Iron Man, especially the HART which is a direct copy of the same device on Iron Man. Many fight scenes are copied from Terminator including the one from Terminator 2 where T-1000 rebuilds itself after getting disintegrated by liquid nitrogen. The movie has supposedly tried to use the most advanced special effects to date but yet many scenes seem be hopeless and look tacky even for 20-year-old graphics technology standard. The movie is a total washout and a case study of 'How to create too much buzz for an entirely worthless product'. It still kills me on how G.One managed to come back to life after being killed, any answers?

Thumbs up: Arjun Rampal filled Ra.One's character well with some scenes being executed with finesse

Thumbs down: Copied plot, very poor special effects.

Rating: 4.8/10

Hole in One (2010)

Genre: Comedy/Sport/Drama/Romance

Starring: Steve Talley, David Ellison, Dean Cameron, Christopher Showerman, Sandy Modic

Sex sells? At least that is what the makers of this movie believe in. Here is our recipe; get a young famous actor, get some gorgeous skimpy clothed woman, add some considerable nudity, sprinkle some slap-stick humour and if you really wish, add a plot to it. Eric (Talley) is an amateur golfer who hustles people at golf and makes a living. His best friend Tyler (Ellison) runs a store that sells golf apparel and the two are enjoying their life the way it is. On one eventful day, Eric makes a bet with two plastic surgeons at golf and loses, or rather gained, something he wish he never had. Steve Talley has emerged as the new god of sex-comedy movies after his success with American Pie and Van Wilder and is poised to become the next Sean Williamson Scott of the industry. The movie is a mindless comic with no laughable humour or entertaining plot outline. If loads of topless woman is what defines your style of entertainment then this movie is definitely up to the mark else it is a pure waste of precious time. Watch at your own risk.

Thumbs up: Does the moon have water?

Thumbs down: Bad plot, worse humour

Rating: 4.8/10

Wild Things: Foursome (2010)

Genre: Crime/Romance/Drama/Mystery

Starring: Jillian Murray, Marnette Patterson, Ashley Parker, John Schneider, Ethan S. Smith, Jessie Nickson, Josh Randall

The fourth version of the sexual murder mystery is here; and you wonder why. The first Wild Things was something else. The twisted and unpredictable plot along with the sizzling Denise Richards' love scene gave the movie a different credibility. The subsequent movies have tried to utilise the same format, with different actors with a lot more emphasis on the sexuality, which has failed miserably. In spite of the second and third movies not doing very well, the fourth installment has come out with no exceptional differences. Carson Wheetly (Parker) is the son of one of Florida's richest men and becomes a rich heir when his father dies in a car crash. Brandi Cox (Murray) a colleague of Carson's arch enemy Shane (Randall) accuses Carson of raping her and demands a large sum of money as settlement. Double-crossing becomes a ritual and relations get bloody as everyone now wants a part of the money. Detective Frank Walker (Schneider) smells a rat and realises that everything is not as simple as it seems and boldly decides to dig a little further. The movie has its own bit of twists and turns but each and every one of them is more or less predictable along with being stupid and lame. The performances are hopeless and the movie is only trying to sell sex and nothing at all. Probably if some more high-profile actors were selected along with a more improved and modified plot line, the movie would have been a whole lot better and the franchise would have done well.

Thumbs up: There is no shortage of chicks of hunks

Thumbs down: Bad plot, weak performances

Rating: 4.9/10

Thank You (2011)

Genre: Comedy/Drama/Romance

Starring: Akshay Kumar,Sonam Kapoor, Bobby Deol, Suniel Shetty, Irrfan Khan, Celina Jaitley, Rimi Sen

The million dollar question, what is Bollywoods one and only formula to create a comedy movie? Answer; Akshay Kumar + a foreign location + tons of skimpy clad woman + husband-wife complications. Been there, seen it and done that. Raj (Deol), Yogi (Shetty) and Vikram (Khan) are three friends who do business together and who regularly cheat on their wives and have loads of other mistresses. To avoid getting caught, they watch out for each other and have a ball of a time. Raj's wife Sanjana (Kapoor) loves her husband to no end and refuses to agree upon the fact that he might be cheating on her. Yogi and Vikrams' wives, Maya (Jaitley) and Shivani (Sen) introduce her to detective Kishan (Kumar) who specialises in conducting sting operations against cheating husbands/wives. Meanwhile, Raj, Vikram and Yogi suspect that there is someone trying to bring out their secret to their wives and hence they too hire Kishan to find out who is uncovering their secrets. The usual confusion, mix-up and stupidity follows which gives you a week-long hangover. The plot is utterly ridiculous and the melodrama and unwanted craziness is just too much to digest. My condolences to everyone who had to bear the brunt of this movie and my sincere apologies for not posting this review early enough.

Thumbs up: Hmm, probably the tons of bikini-clad woman will win this one

Thumbs down: Everything, literally

Rating: 4.2/10

Zoom (2006)

Genre: Comedy/Drama/Science-fiction/Fantasy/Adventure/Action

Starring: Tim Allen, Courteney Cox, Chevy Chase, Spencer Breslin, Kate Mara, Michael Cassidy, Ryan Newman

The Zenith Team was a team of super-heroes led by Zoom (Allen) many years ago. The team collapsed when the government tried to artificially enhance their powers which turned Zoom's brother Concussion onto the evil side who subsequently killed all the team members except Zoom, who simply lost his powers. Concussion was presumed dead and now the government has information that he will return in less than 10 days. Zoom is now a demoralised aging man who doesn't believe in super-heroes anymore and is recruited by the government to initiate a training programme where people with unique powers are to be recruited and trained by Zoom. A new team is formed consisting of Tucker aka Mega-Boy (Breslin) who can inflate any part of his body, Summer aka Wonder (Mara) who can control objects with her mind, Dylan aka Houdini (Cassidy) who can become invisible and Cindy aka Princess (Newman) who has super-strength. Time is slowly ticking by and the new team is far from ready. With Zoom not having any amount of faith in the children, his demoralising and uninterested attitude don't help things too much. The movie tries to blend every possible genre known to movie-making and makes a big mess of things. Multiple lose strings, scenes added without having anything to do with the storyline and unexplained parts plague the entire movie. The movie might just vaguely appeal to the average 7-year-old but still needs a lot to work on. Highly avoidable.

Thumbs up: Nothing at all

Thumbs down: Bad story, poor acting

Rating: 4.9/10

Band Baaja Baaraat (2010)

Genre: Comedy/Romance

Starring: Anushka Sharma, Ravneer Singh

Two college graduates are poles apart, where one plans on a career the other plans on nothing. Shruti (Sharma) aims on becoming a successful wedding planner, whereas Bittoo (Singh) the son a sugarcane farmer wants to do anything to get away from cutting canes all his life. Bittoo meets Shruti when he is crashing a wedding and starts flirting with her. He soon persuades her to make him a part of her wedding planning company so that he doesn't have to go back to his dad. Shruti agrees, given the condition that Bittoo would not fall in love with her. Being a Yash Raj film, the rest of the story can be narrated flawlessly by a two-year-old, scene by scene. The movie has the very regular Bollywood cliches like the dialogues, plot development, twists, climax etc. There was a slight spark of comedy in the beginning which simply faded away as the movie went along. Probably if that aspect was picked up on, then the otherwise boring plot would still have become a bit more watchable. The movies soundtrack is catchy and appeals to the fans of this genre. Overall, a good two hour paid nap is what you get.

Thumbs up: Ranveer Singh, having no previous modelling or acting experience has done a fairly decent job

Thumbs down: Everything else

Rating: 3.7/10

Little Man (2006)

Genre: Comedy/Crime/Drama

Starring: Marlon Wayans, Tracy Morgan, Shawn Wayans, Kerry Washington, John Witherspoon

An African-American midget, Calvin (Marlon Wayans) and his partner Percy (Morgan) rob an expensive diamond from a jewelry store. While being pursued by the police, he slips the diamond in a lady's purse and runs away. The lady, Vanessa (Washington) and her fiancee Darryl (Shawn Wayans) are oblivious to the huge priceless diamond they are carrying. In order to get back their diamond, Calvin becomes a baby and is left on Vanessa and Darryl's doorstep. Darryl wants to start a family soon but Vanessa is more concerned about her career.With young baby Calvin in the house, Darryl's wish comes almost true but Calvin plans to bail out of the house the moment he has the diamond in his hand. The movie has a lot of lame humour and is horribly slow. The special effects used to make Marlon Wayans look like a baby is a bad job and his stupid and overdone performances are of no help either. Probably if some jokes were more on the lines of Home Alone the movie might have been a better watch, but it sadly isn't. There are some slightly funny parts but that's about it. Avoid at all cost.

Thumbs up: Zip-zero

Thumbs down: Bad humour, hopeless acting

Rating: 4.9/10

The Last Airbender (3D) (2010)

Genre: Fantasy/Action/Adventure

Starring: Noah Ringer, Dev Patel, Nicola Peltz, Shaun Toub, Jackson Rathbone, Aasif Mandvi, Cliff Curtis

Why? Is the question that immediately pops into ones mind right after the movie gets over.Why did M. Night Shyamalan even try to create a movie on such a horrible plot? Why did Dev Patel ruin a promising career by attempting such a lame role? There existed four kingdoms on Earth, each belonging to one of the natural elements i.e. Earth, Fire, Water and Air. Each community had Benders, people with power to control their birth element. There was one supreme power, called the Avatar, who could bend all the elements and who maintained balance on Earth. The Avatar goes missing for a hundred years, leaving the Earth in jeopardy. Fire Lord Ozai (Curtis) uses his advanced technology to invade and destroy the remaining kingdoms in order to gain control over Earth. Prince Zuko (Patel) his incapable son, is sent to exile and can only be heir to the throne if he manages to find and capture the Avatar. Katara (Peltz) and her brother Sokka (Rathbone) who belong to the water tribe, find the Avatar and rescue him. The Avatar has not completed his training and must learn how to bend the other elements if he has to restore order on Earth and put an end to the Fire Lord's dominance. The movie actually doesn't have as bad a plot as it seems like, its just that the execution was bad which failed to bring out the true essence of the movie. The dialogues were outright horrible and performances were poor. 3D seemed to be a forced addition so its no worry if you watch it in 2D (if that saves some money then even better). In spite of having a known star cast of Dev Patel, Cliff Curtis and Shaun Toub, their presence failed to do any good to the movie. Pure waste.

Thumbs up: If i try very hard, some action sequences and special effects to an extent

Thumbs down: Cast, plot, dialogues, performances, what am i missing out on?

Rating: 4.9/10

Kill Kill Faster Faster (2008)

Genre: Drama/Thriller/Romance/Crime

Starring: Gil Bellows, Lisa Ray, Esai Morales, Monica Delain, Shaun Parkes

A drug-addicted scriptwriter, Joey One-Way (Bellows) gets bailed out of jail by his good friend Markie (Morales) and now wants Joey to write a movie for him. Markie's girlfriend Fleur (Ray) and Joey start having a sexual relationship without Markie knowing about it. However, life is not easy for Joey because his past is always haunting him. He feels guilty for what happened to his wife and two daughters, because of his drug addiction, and cant seem to get over it. No matter how hard he tries his life is just too miserable for him to tolerate anymore. The movie is a big fail when it comes to the plot and performances. The story is just too messed up and goes around aimlessly without making too much sense. It tries to be profound and deep but rather than making it a good watch, it just turns out to make it hopeless. Die, but don't dare watch it.

Thumbs up: Joke!

Thumbs down: Everything

Rating: 4.4/10