Memory Bank: Where's the Beef? (January 1984)

Twenty-nine years ago this month, eighty-one year old Clara Peller (1902 – 1987) first uttered the immortal words “where’s the beef?”for a Wendy’s Restaurant TV commercial, and instantly emerged a pop culture sensation. 

In the advertisement titled “Fluffy Bun,” which first aired January 10, 1984, the diminutive Peller and two other prim-and-proper old ladies approached a fast food restaurant counter and expressed disappointment with the proffered burger.  It was all hat and no cattle, so-to-speak.

The zinger, “Where’s the Beef?” proved so popular that it became the focal point not only of the restaurant’s ad campaign for at least two years, but also made Peller a celebrity.  She appeared (un-credited) on Saturday Night Live, appeared in the 1985 horror movie The Stuff (in a fictional commercial, naturally) and participated with Coyote McCloud on his single “Where’s the Beef?”  

Her slogan, meanwhile, appeared on T-shirts, Frisbees, and bumper stickers.  I remember the era quite well, and how "where's the beef" became ubiquitous even in regular, daily life.  Teachers would ask it regarding a book report in class, and on and on.

In the 1984 presidential election, “where’s the beef” also played an unlikely role. Confronting opponent Gary Hart in a primary debate, democratic candidate Walter Mondale quipped: “When I hear your new ideas, I’m reminded of that ad: where’s the beef?”

Ugh.

Clara Peller passed away in 1987, but Wendy’s revived a variation of the slogan  in 2011. 

But it just isn't the same without that little old lady. Perhaps this is proof that you just can't go home again.  

Or that zippy TV catchphrases are best uttered by gravelly-voiced old women in pearls... 

Collectible of the Week: Godtron/God Mars Deluxe Set (1981 - 1982)

This “space combination” “deluxe set” Godtron or Godmars comes from the anime TV series Six God Combination God Mars that aired on Nippon TV from October 1981 through the end of December of 1982.  The series aired sixty-four episodes, and later followed up with two films.

The original Godmars series was set in the future year of 1999, and concerned Earth’s conflict with the distant planet Gishin.  The warlord of that world sent a child, Mars and a robot, Gaia, to Earth to destroy it. 

Instead, however, the child was adopted by a Japanese family and renamed Takeru.  He grew to become, with his robot, a defender of the Earth, not its betrayer.   Takeru’s  robot could also combine with five other giant robots (Ra, Titan, Shin, Sphinx and Uranus) to form the goliath known as “Godmars.”

This gigantic toy from Taiwan -- a present for Joel -- was produced in the early 1980s and the components are made of diecast model.  The box advertises a “wonderful six in one robot,” and inside, as you can see, are all the parts, as well as accessories such as swords and the like.

Below, you’ll find the introduction to Godmars.

Theme Song of the Week:Shadow Chasers (1985)

Best Screenplays: 1980s

Best Adapted Screenplay:

1980: Ordinary People (Alvin Sargent)

Oscar winner: Ordinary People (Alvin Sargent)

1981: Prince of the City (Jay Presson Allen and Sidney Lumet)

Oscar winner: On Golden Pond (Ernest Thompson)

Was this nominated?: Yes

1982: The Verdict (David Mamet)

Oscar winner: Missing (Costa-Gavras and Donald Stewart)

Was this nominated?: Yes

1983: Terms of Endearment (James L. Brooks)

Oscar winner: Terms of Endearment (James L. Brooks)

1984: Once Upon a Time in America (Leonardo Benvenuti, Piero De Bernardi, Enrico Medioli, Franco Arcalli, Franco Ferrini, and Sergio Leone)

Oscar winner: Amadeus (Peter Shaffer)

Was this nominated?: No

1985: Kiss of the Spider Woman (Leonard Schrader)

Oscar winner: Out of Africa (Kurt Luedtke)

Was this nominated?: Yes

1986: A Room with a View (Ruth Prawer Jhabvala)

Oscar winner: A Room with a View (Ruth Prawer Jhabvala)

1987: Full Metal Jacket (Gustav Hasford, Michael Herr, and Stanley Kubrick)

Oscar winner: The Last Emperor (Bernardo Bertolucci and Mark Peploe)

Was this nominated?: Yes

1988: The Unbearable Lightness of Being (Jean-Claude Carriere and Philip Kaufman)

Oscar winner: Dangerous Liaisons (Christopher Hampton)

Was this nominated?: Yes

1989: Born on the Fourth of July (Ron Kovic and Oliver Stone)

Oscar winner: Driving Miss Daisy (Alfred Uhry)

Was this nominated?: Yes

Best Original Screenplay:

1980: The Big Red One [The Reconstruction] (Samuel Fuller)

Oscar winner: Melvin and Howard (Bo Goldman)

Was this nominated?: No

1981: Atlantic City (John Guare)

Oscar winner: Chariots of Fire (Colin Welland)

Was this nominated?: Yes

1982: Tootsie (Larry Gelbart, Murray Schisgal, and Don McGuire)

Oscar winner: Gandhi (John Briley)

Was this nominated?: Yes

1983: The Big Chill (Lawrence Kasdan and Barbara Benedek)

Oscar winner: Tender Mercies (Horton Foote)

Was this nominated?: Yes

1984: Broadway Danny Rose (Woody Allen)

Oscar winner: Places in the Heart (Robert Benton)

Was this nominated?: Yes

1985: The Purple Rose of Cairo (Woody Allen)

Oscar winner: Witness (William Kelley, Earl Wallace, and Pamela Wallace)

Was this nominated?: Yes

1986: Hannah and Her Sisters (Woody Allen)

Oscar winner: Hannah and Her Sisters (Woody Allen)

1987: Withnail & I (Bruce Robinson)

Oscar winner: Moonstruck (John Patrick Shanley)

Was this nominated?: No

1988: A Fish Called Wanda (John Cleese and Charles Crichton)

Oscar winner: Rain Man (Ronald Bass and Barry Morrow)

Was this nominated?: Yes

1989: Do the Right Thing (Spike Lee)

Oscar winner: Dead Poets Society (Tom Schulman)

Was this nominated?: Yes

Collectible of the Week: Voltron Coffin of Doom/Coffin of Darkness (Panosh Place; 1984)

Joel and I have been watching and enjoying Voltron: Defender of the Universe(1984) on Netflix over the holidays. 

Although Voltron hasn’t quite reached the level of Joel’s current/ongoing Cyberman/Doctor Who obsession, he loves one aspect in particular of the Japanese animated series.

In each episode, Haggar the Witch sends a fierce ro-beast to challenge Voltron and the heroes of the Galaxy Alliance.  These ro-beasts arrive on planetary surfaces in kitted-up space coffins: weird colorful caskets that “birth” the monstrosities

In 1984, the company Panosh Place created a whole line of really great Voltron toys -- ships and figures -- including the Coffin of Doom (containing the Ro-Beast Scorpius) and the Coffin of Darkness, which houses the Ro-Beast memorably called “Mutilor.”

Both of these swing open coffins house Voltron action figures, and feature forward-aiming armament, as you can see from the photographs.  The back of the coffin box describes the grim vehicles thusly: “Only a dreaded Ro-beast could live in this evil coffin.  But this is no ordinary resting place, because this horrific flying machine takes Scorpius/Mutilor on his barbaric missions.

It goes on to say: “Combat and chaos, that’s why Haggar the Witch created the Coffin of Doom/Darkness.  And with its wings spread, war lamp lit and clicking battle sound, it more than lives up to its creator’s most diabolical dreams.”

The boxes also describe the terrifying pilots.  They thrive on “combat” and pilot the coffins. 

“From the moment you see” their "eerie glow” and hear their “forbidding sound, you know that evil is on the way.”

“Voltron, beware!”

Alas, the pilots are sold separately from the coffins of doom/darkness. 

Now I just need to get my hands on a Panosh Place Voltron and Castle of Lions…

Collectible of the Week: Doctor Who Tardis Playhouse (Dekker Toys; 1982)

If you saw my Christmas photograph from a few days back, you know that the TARDIS came to visit Joel’s holiday this year...filled with Doctor Who toys, including a bump-and-go-cybermat and a lego-like Cyber-conversion chamber.  

Specifically that holiday TARDIS is the Dekker Toys “Tardis” playhouse from 1982, an officially licensed product from the BBC. 

This TARDIS stands four feet high -- just a little taller than Joel at this point -- but is not alas, bigger on the inside than it is on the outside.  We’re still working on the issue of dimensional transcendentalism.

As you can detect from the images of the Tardis playhouse above, it was produced and marketed in the era of the fifth Doctor, played by Peter Davison.  Joel hasn’t seen any episodes of that age, yet.  We started our Whovian survey with Patrick Troughton (“The Tomb of the Cybermen,” “The Mind Robber” and “The Krotons”) but have also now watched “The Sontaran Experiment” and “Revenge of the Cybermen” from the Tom Baker Era.   I'm debating whether I think he'll be freaked out by the giant Wirrn in "The Ark in Space."

The Tardis playhouse is actually something of a tent, one held up by narrow PVC poles at the corners. And inside there is even a control room and view screen…a feature which Joel loves.

When I was a kid, I would have traveled to the ends of the Earth (or Zeti Reticuli, in Whovian terms…) to get my hands on a TARDIS playhouse like this one.  I understand that a full-sized, inflatable TARDIS is also being released soon for further Time Lord adventures.  I think it would look great in our garage when Joel outgrows the playhouse.

Movie Trailer: The Keep (1983)

Memory Bank: TV-PIXX (1981 - 1982)

I was watching my six-year old son Joel play Galaga on Roku last week, and I wanted to tell him when to fire his rocket's weaponry.  So I started spontaneously shouting “Pixx! Pixx! Pixx!”and he looked at me from across the sofa like I had gone nuts (or "mental" in his terminology).

“Daddy, why are you shouting Pixx?” he asked me.

I was shouting Pixx, of course, because I was remembering a weird telephone game show TV program from the early 1980s called TV-PIXXX. 

This “Ultimate New Game Show” aired on WPIX-11 (“11 Alive!”) in the early 1980s, often on afternoons following school.  I understand that this particular game was based on another telephone-based video game program called TV-POWWW, which first aired in Los Angeles on KABC-TV in 1978.

The TV-PIXXXprogram was hosted by Ralph Lowenstein, and lasted only a few minutes per episode, running essentially as filler between television series. But the premise of this game show was that the studio would telephone a kid at home while simultaneously broadcasting an Intellivision video game. 

Once the game began, the contestant on the telephone would have to shout “Pixx!” at the appropriate moment to shoot a ball in a basketball hoop, or fire a laser in some Asteroids game knock-off. 

I still possess vivid memories of hearing young contestants endlessly shout “Pixx!” at the TV screen on TV-PIXXXin hopes of winning a station-brand T-shirt or a ten-dollar savings bond.  I remember that prospective contestants for the program had to send in stamped post-cards with their names and addresses printed on them if they hoped to be picked to play on the air.

I also remember sending a postcard to the station myself, but I was never selected to play Intellivision and shout Pixx at the screen. 

And yet, the (admittedly odd…) memory of this unusual game show has never left me, even after all these years.  I tried explaining this all to Joel, but it was just too bizarre.  He wondered why we wouldn't just play the games we wanted on the TV, or on the iPhone... 

Below, a recent retrospective of TV-PIXXX, and then a brief commercial, courtesy of YouTube.

Theme Song of the Week: Terrahawks (1983 - 1986)

Theme Song of the Week: Silverhawks (1986)

Best Music: 1980s

Best Original Score:

1980: The Empire Strikes Back (John Williams)

Oscar winner: Fame (Michael Gore)

Was this nominated?: Yes

1981: Raiders of the Lost Ark (John Williams)

Oscar winner: Chariots of Fire (Vangelis)

Was this nominated?: Yes

1982: One from the Heart (Tom Waits)

Oscar winner: E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial (John Williams)

Was this nominated?: Yes (in the original song score/adaptation score category)

1983: Return of the Jedi (John Williams)

Oscar winner: The Right Stuff (Bill Conti)

Was this nominated?: Yes

1984: Once Upon a Time in America (Ennio Morricone)

Oscar winner: A Passage to India (Maurice Jarre)

Was this nominated?: No

1985: Back to the Future (Alan Silvestri)

Oscar winner: Out of Africa (John Barry)

Was this nominated?: No

1986: The Mission (Ennio Morricone)

Oscar winner: 'Round Midnight (Herbie Hancock)

Was this nominated?: Yes

1987: Empire of the Sun (John Williams)

Oscar winner: The Last Emperor (Ryuichi Sakamoto, David Byrne and Cong Su)

Was this nominated?: Yes

1988: Grave of the Fireflies (Michio Mamiya)

Oscar winner: The Milagro Beanfield War (Dave Grusin)

Was this nominated?: No

1989: Cinema Paradiso (Ennio Morricone)

Oscar winner: The Little Mermaid (Alan Menken)

Was this nominated?: No

Best Original Song:

1980: "9 to 5" - Nine to Five

Oscar winner: "Fame" - Fame

Was this nominated?: Yes

1981: "Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do)" - Arthur

Oscar winner: "Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do)" - Arthur

1982: "This One's from the Heart" - One from the Heart

Oscar winner: "Up Where We Belong" - An Officer and a Gentleman

Was this nominated?: No

1983: "On the Dark Side" - Eddie and the Cruisers

Oscar winner: "Flashdance… What a Feeling" - Flashdance

Was this nominated?: No

1984: "Footloose" - Footloose

Oscar winner: "I Just Called to Say I Love You" - The Woman in Red

Was this nominated?: Yes

1985: "The Goonies 'R' Good Enough" - The Goonies

Oscar winner: "Say You, Say Me" - White Nights

Was this nominated?: No

1986: "Haunted" - Sid & Nancy*

Oscar winner: "Take My Breath Away" - Top Gun

Was this nominated?: No

1987: "The Living Daylights" - The Living Daylights

Oscar winner: "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" - Dirty Dancing

Was this nominated?: No

1988: "Why Should I Worry?" - Oliver & Company

Oscar winner: "Let the River Run" - Working Girl

Was this nominated?: No

1989: "Under the Sea" - The Little Mermaid

Oscar winner: "Under the Sea - The Little Mermaid

*That's the original film version of the "Haunted", but there's a better version here.

Memory Bank: Gauntlet (Atari Games; 1985)

During my freshman year at the University of Richmond in the fall of 1988, there wasn’t a whole lot to do, socially-speaking.  I was a skinny kid in big glasses who didn’t go out for sports and liked Star Trek.  I had no interest in fraternities or the school’s religious clubs (though, truth-be-told, I did have an ever-so-brief flirtation with a Baptist Bible Study group, which helps to account for my knowledge of Scripture…)

Anyway, I met my beautiful wife, Kathryn, at the beginning of my sophomore year and my life changed for the (infinitely) better.

But before that ever happened,  I spent an inordinate (and probably unhealthy) amount of time in the Pier, the campus Student Building, playing a classic arcade game from Atari, called Gauntlet (1985).

As you may remember, Gauntlet was unique in that it was a four player arcade game.  Intrepid gamers could play as the Warrior, the Valkyrie, the Wizard and the Elf, at least originally.  The idea was to battle enemies such as ghosts and demons while traversing dungeon-like labyrinths and environs. 

I looked Gauntlet up on Wikipedia out of curiosity and it is apparently part of a genre called “hack and slash,” a phrase that pretty well describes the game’s content as remember it.

Among other things, Gauntlet is also apparently famous because it had a kind of computerized narrator who would voice warnings (“Your life is running out”) and reminders (such as “shots do not hurt other players…yet.”)   I can’t say as I remember much specifically about game play, only that we would play the bloody thing for hours, and lose a hell of a lot of quarters in the process.   It’s a good memory from a year that, in some respects, I’d rather forget.

In terms of characters, I always played as the Valkyrie -- the female warrior in the foursome -- in honor of my enduring love of the same-named character from Battle Beyond the Stars (1980). 

I can’t remember why we did so, but on one memorable night in 1988, my pals and I drove downtown instead of to the student building to play Gauntlet at a bustling city arcade in Richmond, one very close to the now-defunct Byrd Theater, if memory serves. 

I should have been studying for an upcoming computer science exam, but instead, I think we were out at the arcade from midnight to 2:00 am, and I blew twenty-five dollars on the infernal machine.

Ah, to be eighteen and dumb as shit again…

Anyway, I harbor a dream that one of these days, I’m going to thoroughly clean out my garage and convert it into an arcade entertainment center/rec room for me and Joel.  We already have a pool table and a foosball table (which Joel and I play a lot…), but I’m thinking I really need a restored Gauntlet arcade console to go with those stations.

That…and an air hockey table, but that’s the subject of a different post.  I'll just close this one by saying I recently visited the University of Richmond campus for the first time in probably a decade, and was deeply disappointed, though not surprised, to see that Gauntlet was long gone.

Short Circuit

Number 5 is alive!

If you've seen Short Circuit, there is a good chance you already have a smile on your face. If you saw it as a child, there is an even better chance you are thinking about the time you watched it with friends or maybe played it out in the park. That's the power of cinema.

Struck by lightening, No. 5 (voiced by Tim Blaney), a robot constructed at Nova Technologies, a defense firm, starts behaving like a human. Its hunger for "input" (information) leads it to Stephanie Speck (Ally Sheedy) who initially thinks of it as an alien but eventually takes on the task of protecting it from Nova Technologies who now wants to destroy No.5. Helping her along the way is the creator of Number 5, Newton Crosby (Steve Gutenberg).

Short Circuit is a great film is you want to learn word synonyms for No.5, after going through a dictionary, has a tendency to speak them out every chance he gets.

Stephanie Speck: I thought you were alive, Number 5. I let you tear my house to shreds and you're a ROBOT! You're a machine from that dumb war lab place. God, I'm so stupid!

Number 5: Stupid - foolish, gullible, doltish, dumbell...

Short Circuit is a great film if you want to laugh-out-loud as the team of military men and scientists try their best to catch Number 5 who seems to always be one step ahead of them.  

Skroeder: Maybe it's pissed off.

Newton Crosby: It's a machine, Schroeder. It doesn't get pissed off, it doesn't get happy, it doesn't get sad, it doesn't laugh at your jokes...

Newton Crosby/Ben Jabituya: ...IT JUST RUNS PROGRAMS!

Short Circuit is an essential watch if you want to wipe tears off your eyes from laughing hard at the dialogues of Ben Jabituya (Fisher Stevens), who in all probability is Apu (Simpsons) reincarnated as a scientist helping Newton find Number 5.  

Ben Jabituya: With excitement like this, who is needing enemas?

Howard Marner: Don't tell me its laser is still armed.

Ben Jabituya: Bimbo.

Ben Jabituya: Newton, we are wasting valueless time here.

Ben Jabituya: Bye-bye, goofy woman. I enjoyed repeatedly throwing you to the ground.

Stephanie Speck: ...Where're you taking him?

Ben Jabituya: This is not being a HIM. It's only being wires and several mechanisms and other such machine-type apparatus, for the Pete of sake - the sate of Peeckle...

Short Circuit is a wonderful 1980s comedy that manages to still amuse audiences after almost three decades of its release. It provides a sense of adventure of the most unlikely kind as a robot goes out in the big bad world and learns the importance of life, that of its own and others.

The magic of Short Circuit is that it works on many levels. It's a look at society and its eagerness to destroy anything that is not the norm. The film is great entertainment full of numerous fun filled chase sequences. Most importantly, it is a film for the entire family, especially the kids who are sure to be charmed by Number 5. As for the ladies, one look at Number 5 copying Travolta's moves from Saturday Night Fever, and you are bound to be floored. 

Short Circuit is amongst a group of great children's comedy classics from the 1980s (The Breakfast Club, Flight of the Navigator, Goonies, Herbie Goes Bananas, A Christmas Story, BMX Bandits, ...) that have become essential viewing for the newer generation because even with the passing of time, these films have remained as refreshing and crisp as any new film being released today.

Rating 4.5/5

DVD Information:

Special Features: Original Trailer, The Creation of Number 5, Cast & Crew Interviews, Behind the scenes featurette, Commentary.

UK Release Date - 19 November 2012

Running Time - 95 Minutes

Region Code - Region Free

Certificate - PG

Flight of the Navigator

It was a time of innocence. A time when children’s films where a gateway into imagination. The 1980s and 1990s saw countless films geared towards kids that till this day remain classics and bring a smile, at the mere mention of their titles, on the face of adults who grew up enacting scenes and characters from these films. Flight of the Navigator is a film that, even though I don't remember watching growing up, brought about memories from my wonder years.

Flight of the Navigator is a story about a boy, David (Joey Cramer), who is abducted by an alien, Max (Voiced by Paul Reubens), only to return to Earth 8 years later to find everyone has aged except for him. What follows is an escape and chase movie as the scientists at NASA want to study the boy and the spaceship that crash-landed along with him while the alien in the spaceship needs him for maps that have been stored in his brain. 

The film is full of subtle humor and moments that will warm your heart. Like most kid-centric films of the time there is always a strong moral behind each action and lessons to be learnt. The adventure quotient is good enough to make children run to the nearest enclosure and imagine a spacecraft taking them around the planet at speeds faster than light. Another aspect of the film that really stood out was the dialogue which although is geared towards entertaining the kids has stood the test of time and sounds fresh enough to have made me chuckle quite a few times during the film.

Max: I crashed into electrical towers and my star charts were erased. I need the ones in your head to complete my mission.

David: So you need ME and my INFERIOR brain to fly that thing?

Max:Correction, I need the SUPERIOR information in your INFERIOR brain to fly this... thing.

David:Where do you go next, Max?

Max: Back in time to when I picked up my creatures. By now they're so hungry, they could eat a zigzog.

David:What's a zigzog?

Max: Kind of like a hippo, but with feathers.

For most adults Flight of the Navigatoris a journey back to their childhood, while fans of Sex and the City can find a young Sarah Jessica Parker in a small role sporting pink highlighted hair, something I'm not too sure Carrie Bradshaw would approve of? As for the younger generation, they can enjoy the film for what it is, fun, adventurous, humorous, and a feel good family entertainer that should be in everyone's home collection.

Rating:  4/5

DVD Information:

Special Features - Commentary by director Randal Kleiser & Producer Jonathan Sanger

UK Release Date - 19 November 2012

Running Time - 86 Minutes

Region Code - Region Free

Certificate - U