Seven Below (2012)
Brief review: "The Fear Chamber" director's latest horror wannabe movie is about a group of strangers who, after a tour bus accident, find themselves trapped in a house with a terrible past, while they're trying to escape a forbidding storm. Sounds familiar, doesn't it? Even from the laughably cheesy opening scene "Seven Below" screams cheap and amateurish. Furthermore, it contains every single horror cliche you could think of - possessed child murderer, ghost in the mirror and under the bed, nonsensical twist ending - it's all there, and it's neither scary, nor particularly fun to watch. Add to this one of the lamest, most uninspired scripts ever written, some lame dialogues and a bunch of unlikable characters you couldn't care about less, and you get "Seven Below". On a technical note, the movie is just as hideous. Kevin Carraway's direction is too generic and unskillful to make an impression, the special effects are crappy at best, and the haunted house, where most of the movie takes place in, is supposed to be creepy, but ironically enough, it looks quite cozy. Carraway uses gimmicks such as pouring rain, thick mist and loud thunders in order to create an ominous atmosphere, but it just doesn't work, since we all know fake storms ain't effective anymore. The overall acting is so bad, it's not worth mentioning, and Val Kilmer has been paid just to act like a jerk for about 30 min. Shame on him!
Overall summary: Terribly-written, poorly-crafted and jam-packed with countless tired cliches, "Seven Below" is not only one of the most boring, unfortunate and un-scary 'horror' movies of the past few years, but also the lowest point in Val Kilmer's once quite successful career.
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